Congrats Mandrake! Get out and get on with life. My wife and I are very happy for you. Welcome to the DA club!
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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14
DA: Today I used my typewriter and fountain pen
by Mandrake inlast week my mother (i live with her) gave me some clues that she finally awoke, and well, that came to be true and we now speak openly against many many things i considered taboo to talk to her.
so with that achieved, it was time for a delayed duty, i took my typewriter one wrote my da letter, and signed it with my favorite fountain pen, with my "trade mark" royal blue ink (everyone in the hall knew me for using that color and type of pen).
i will hand it to the elders tomorrow, in february 14th, the "day of love".
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83
Do not Disassociate, Anull your baptism
by jwfacts ini am now a jedi, so trust me on this.. .
why dis-associate, you are just playing by the wts rules?
how can you dis-associate anyway, you never thought you were baptised as a watchtower society member, you thought your dedication was to god, so why formally disassociate from something you did not formally join?
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dubstepped
Why do you feel looked down on? No one judges you whether you da or fade. The article lists the pros and cons of both, including a heading and section that covers reasons to disassociate. Both articles discuss that people that fade or annul their baptisms will still get labelled as bad association and mostly shunned.
Umm.....maybe because anytime someone mentions DA'ing someone has to discourage them from doing it and tell them that they're giving in to WT rules, just like you opened this thread. It is painted as some weak way out, doing the elders a favor, etc. After it is done people don't seem to judge so much and seem to accept it, but mere mention that one is thining of it brings people that act like you're pandering to the organization and that you'll regret it. It is like the black crabs in the bucket illustration, trying to drag back down the one that tries to escape. It is also such a load of crap when people tell you that you're somehow playing the WT's game all the while you see those same posters (not necessarily you) then complaining about how they're treated by their JW family, their congregation, how they have to hide their true self, etc. It's a fallacy that is parroted over and over on here and it likely discourages some from DAing and gaining real freedom. Why WOULDN'T someone feel looked down on when bringing up something they want to do (DA) and then being discouraged in every way instead of getting support?
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Just handed in my Disassociation letter
by Thirteenth tribe intonight my dl was posted by hand by my husband (a worldly guy).
i had the luxury of being at work distracted whilst he posted it.
i have been baptised for just over 2 years and studied since 2010. i couldn't take it anymore, not just the zealous dislike/disgust for 'people in the world' (this includes my husband and 99% of my family btw) but the obvious.... the investigations into child sexual abuse.
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dubstepped
13th and Introvert, welcome to the DA club! Enjoy the freedom and have happy lives. Makes my heart glad every time O hear it. -
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Do not Disassociate, Anull your baptism
by jwfacts ini am now a jedi, so trust me on this.. .
why dis-associate, you are just playing by the wts rules?
how can you dis-associate anyway, you never thought you were baptised as a watchtower society member, you thought your dedication was to god, so why formally disassociate from something you did not formally join?
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dubstepped
So is this where the "if you DA you're playing by their rules" nonsense started, as if faders somehow get a pass? DAing is a tough enough decision without having your fellow ex-dubs looking down on you for doing it. All the while these faders complain constantly of their family drama caused because they're still in contact and literally playing the JW game day in and day out. Yes, DAing is dropping a bomb on things, toxic things, things that sometimes need it. Reading the article on the site refers to how awful it is to DA, how much regret can be felt. What about the freedom? My wife and I no longer play the game whatsoever since DAing. No more heirs to keep up to appear a certain way. No making excuses for anything. No fear of organizational repercussions. No looking over our shoulders. And we feel go knowing that we took a stand rather than slinking away.
DAing isn't for everyone. I get that. But it isn't some lesser form of leaving, so cowardly playing of their game. It is taking a stand, not shying away. It is ending the game once and for all, not playing it.
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DF'ed arrival/departure times at meetings
by dubstepped ini didn't want to derail another thread, but something said made me wonder.
i know that i noticed df'ed people come in right when the meeting started and leave right when it left most of the time.
is that some sort of actual rule?
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dubstepped
Yeah, I understand that it is awkward. In the other thread someone mentioned an elder speaking angrily with a DF'ed person for getting there 10 minutes early. That's ridiculous. I understand that it may be awkward for the DF'ed person, but for some it may be more awkward to hide out until the meeting starts or time things to get there at the last second just so nobody has to see their shame. -
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DF'ed arrival/departure times at meetings
by dubstepped ini didn't want to derail another thread, but something said made me wonder.
i know that i noticed df'ed people come in right when the meeting started and leave right when it left most of the time.
is that some sort of actual rule?
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dubstepped
I didn't want to derail another thread, but something said made me wonder. I know that I noticed DF'ed people come in right when the meeting started and leave right when it left most of the time. Is that some sort of actual rule? Is that written somewhere that "thou shalt not make people uncomfortable with your presence"? "Thou shall arriveth at the birth of the meeting and leaveth at its end"? Does someone keep a stopwatch on these poor people? It's such a sickening way to treat people overall, but telling people how long they can sit in the auditorium because they're basically lepers now seems to add another layer of awful to it.
I'm DA'd, and have NO desire to ever set foot in a KH again, but part of me hears something like that and wants to just go sit right in the middle of everyone the whole time, walk up to people to talk, and make them all as uncomfortable as humanly possible. It's so ridiculous and the assholery knows no bounds with them, I just want to let them experience it from the other side.
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I have too much crap!! How to declutter/dehoard.....
by Muddy Waters insome areas of our home are very nice, tidy, clean.
and other rooms are just junk and clutter and clothes and papers.... omg.
and now that we are getting older, we realize that we face a time of transition -- and this is hard to cope with too, as we believed the lie that we would never get old, etc.
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dubstepped
I rented a dumpster once and threw most of it all away. I gave away some nicer stuff on Craigslist for free and tossed the rest. The key afterward is to adopt a minimalist view of material things. It is tough. We made a lot of progress, but we still have a way to go. I said for years that I'd sell the stuff and never did, so I just gave it away. Recognize that a lot of reasons are just excuses in this area of life. Hope that helps. -
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If all the world were JWs....
by Tornintwo inin my former indoctrinated state, i used to yearn for a time when all the world would be jws.
but hang on minute, let's just think about what the world would be like if everyone was a jw,.
first of all, no higher education, so no medical advances, no scientific research, no modern day medicine, infectious disease rife, no doctors, no engineers, so no modern day comforts.
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dubstepped
It would be one of the dumbest societies in history. No discoveries would be made. Home-schooled people that passed courses a monkey could ace would rule the world.
There wouldn't be the harmony among people that they preach. Instead there would be cliques and backbiting as people tried to gain prominence just like in most congregations.
People would die without doctors, though they'd have plenty of quackery to practice. Supplements and weird contraptions from Radio Shack would convince us that we'd be healed from various cancers.
Without any preaching to do people would have no way to prove their worth. Depression would be even worse among the ranks as these people have nothing else in their miserable lives to bring them joy.
Pedophilia would run rampant as there would be no governmental authorities to try to make the organization take it seriously.
Sounds fun! Where do I sign up?
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Watching from the outside - and a question at the end if TL;DR
by unfamiliar ini grew up in a jw family.
i was the youngest, and i never really felt like my questions were answered in a satisfying way, so i kind of gradually faded and i was thankfully never baptized (hooray for me).
i kept going to family study time until i was about 27 (!
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dubstepped
Where have you been, lol. When I was a kid in the 80's I wasn't supposed to get old enough to drive, graduate, get married, certainly not approach 40. Armageddon is always tomorrow for them and they can't wait for billions to die so long as they get to pet pandas one day earlier. -
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dubstepped
Why does it have to be white bread for? Where's my ryes and pumpernickels at? Lol. And I love garlic bread. That was the dumbest illustration ever on so many levels. The "poison" actually saturated less than the mud he used and could also have been cut away. They just make stuff up and see how stupid people are. They must take bets behind the scenes on what they can get away with.