Posts by dubstepped

25

I think I made up my mind

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

a month ago i travelled alone to italy for three days and i had the opportunity to visit the beautiful florence and re-visit many parts of rome.. but most importantly, i had the opportunity to stay alone and think about my situation and to make up my mind.. i've had very clear for almost 5 years that i will eventually leave the religion, but i couldn't decide when.. but now i know : i will leave on april 20th, the day after the memorial.. that day i will talk to my parents (this is by far the hardest thing to do) and soon afterwards i will talk to my closest friends, then i will send my disassociation letter.

i know that i will let them down, i will hurt them, most probably some of them will cry... but i need to live coherently for the first time in my life.

i'm sure that living in this contradiction is affecting and will affect my mental health and it's time for me to help myself instead of others.

dubstepped

My wife and I disassociated. It was the best thing we ever did. No more playing their games, never again will we have to have family pressuring us to go to meetings or elders popping up to visit. One day we were in, the next we were totally free.

Yes, the reality is that you'll lose your family. This is not a decision to be taken lightly. You cannot un-ring that bell. Once you put a bullet in the thing it is dead. But also, it is dead, and you can go live life. Most of our families are deeply toxic and honestly sometimes it's not bad to have that forced distance. If they get healthy we'll be happy to be there for them.

There's a stigma against disassociation by those that have never done it. I've done it, my wife did it, and I've helped others to as well, IF that's their choice. There's a certain something to living life in complete truth. We took a stand when we became JWs, and we took a stand when we left.

So whatever you do, do you. This is your life. Live it the way that you want, and you don't owe anyone anything.

20

Please help.... depressed jw teen

by huniepie in

i think i’m going insane.... i’m 17 years old and being raised in a jw household.

i really want friends and a boyfriend but i can’t have that because my parents are jw and i’m also homeschooled.

they are those jw parents that refuse to let me go to public school because of bad influences.

dubstepped

It's such a tough place to be in. Another poster here was in a similar situation. Her parents had kept her from other people by home schooling her. The difference with her is that she wasn't baptized. Her parents were really pushing her to as she was nearing 18. I don't know how it ended up with her. Regardless, ultimately you have to live your life and you can't take responsibility for their reactions. If the family is torn apart at some point because you go live your life then your family is putting themselves above your happiness and that's no family that you want to be a part of, even if it doesn't feel good at the time. Obviously we all want to have normal families. Most of us didn't.

For now I'd say that you should probably just keep playing the game while making an exit plan. Once you're 18 (in the US) your parents have no say. Do you have relatives somewhere that you could go live with and tell your story to? That may be enough to get you a new start. I think some look for student loans and try to go to college and stay on campus to get away, though I'm not a huge fan of debt. Still, it may be a way to get started in life.

Pioneering since you were nine is insane. Getting baptized at eight is insane. Your parents should see that know that's too much but they're cult victims too.

Obviously you want to go live a normal life, and you should get that chance. It will be up to you to make it happen. We can only give some advice. Aside from living another life, a normal one, please be sure you really look into and deconstruct the beliefs that you've been pumped full of. If you don't they can come back up later and sabotage your efforts.

I'm so sorry that you had to live that life. My heart aches every time I see a kid out in field service because I know what they're up against.

38

I got to give a speech at the University of Louisville today about JWs and Propaganda

by dubstepped in

today my wife and i went to college.

although not allowed to go to college as jws we got to lead a class today and it was really special to be able to do that.

the class was an honors class on social media and psychology and i created a presentation around the propaganda and manipulation used against us as jws.

dubstepped

Thanks QQ. It sure is nice to have friends. :)

38

I got to give a speech at the University of Louisville today about JWs and Propaganda

by dubstepped in

today my wife and i went to college.

although not allowed to go to college as jws we got to lead a class today and it was really special to be able to do that.

the class was an honors class on social media and psychology and i created a presentation around the propaganda and manipulation used against us as jws.

dubstepped

Just in case anyone watched the presentation and was interested in what questions the students may have, here is a video we made to answer the first batch of questions that came our way. I'm pretty sure that the professor has more, but for now:

https://youtu.be/lsHJpGnXLDo

21

It doesn’t make Sense

by HappyBlessedFree in

so my husband and i had a long conversation last night about why i no longer believe.

this is our 10th conversation about all the same things which we have been talking about for the last four months.. he says “you have let yourself be deceived”.

i try my best to show him my sincerity in my motives.

dubstepped

Cognitive dissonance is a $&%)!

The worst are often those that were never fully in, so it doesn't betray them quite the same, or they didn't lose as much, or weren't hurt by it. So they still hold to it. It's like how the more voracious defenders online often were just raised around it and never got the full JW experience.

You'll just have to give him time, if you choose. It doesn't sound like he cares enough to really get into figuring it out. It's just a thing, no big thing, and meh. And if he can't face being wrong then he'll live a long life of denial, wasting his time.

519

Tony Morris video footage of him buying a dozen bottles of scotch

by UnshackleTheChains in

i was howling watching cedars latest video of tm111 buying a dozen bottles of scotch ((maccallans scotch).

you can't write this stuff.

right, i'm now off to buy a bottle of maccallans 😂..

dubstepped

@lastmanstanding - You were the one that waved your finger at those not seeing it your way. I responded and now you're offended and it's funny. You seem to be able to see it one way and label anyone not seeing it your way.

I'm sure I have no merit because a simple questioning of the reactions in trying to understand would put me in that category with you. But yeah, I'm blazing the ad hominems.

You seemed to read into my post like a video of an asshole doing a thing you don't know the back story to. If you want to attack him I have no problem and said as much. If you want to bring it to me I'm going to have to ask you to do better than changing what I said. I mentioned the activism not to wave my finger at you but to point out that your characterization of those with opinions different to yours wasn't true. You were the one painting people in your preconceived boxes. If you want to invent a backstory with TPT by all means. I'll ask you not to do so with me or anyone else questioning the topic du jour.

Congrats on being in the cult longer than me, something I never questioned, I guess?

I think, or thought, maybe we were all on the same team. Just don't dare question the majority response, a response I admitted to understanding more.

519

Tony Morris video footage of him buying a dozen bottles of scotch

by UnshackleTheChains in

i was howling watching cedars latest video of tm111 buying a dozen bottles of scotch ((maccallans scotch).

you can't write this stuff.

right, i'm now off to buy a bottle of maccallans 😂..

dubstepped

I love how now it has gone to questioning even those who don't see the outrage. @lastmanstanding - I'm pretty sure that Simon and I have done more activism than you. You can question how long we've been out or whatever. I see people of all lengths of time reacting in different ways so I'm not sure how it's relevant.

I think one reason I don't feel the same is that I've been able to get beyond a lot of what I first felt. I don't need to make fun of this particular event to get something out of my system. If you need to rant or joke, go ahead. I'm not sure why those that don't quite get it are so threatening.

I find some of the jokes funny now as I've gotten more context for how others feel. I still think it's petty on levels, just as TPT is petty. I guess I don't want to be like that, at least in this instance, but I get others finding an outlet in it. I have no problem taking him to task for his pettiness either and included a video of his in my recent university presentation, him specifically as he's so awful. As some messaging here has become more specific, I get it. I see a million leaps in the messaging but why not if it matters to you. It didn't to me, I get it more now, but still it's a meh at best to me.

We don't all have to agree and it doesn't make either of us wrong, just different.

519

Tony Morris video footage of him buying a dozen bottles of scotch

by UnshackleTheChains in

i was howling watching cedars latest video of tm111 buying a dozen bottles of scotch ((maccallans scotch).

you can't write this stuff.

right, i'm now off to buy a bottle of maccallans 😂..

dubstepped

I'm probably alone here, or maybe I don't get it because I don't drink, or maybe I'm unknowingly just being oppositional or overthinking, but it feels like manufactured outrage to me. I hate TPT. He's the most punchable of the GB. But in this instance the guy is doing something that I wouldn't care about if I saw in a store. I'd assume he's buying for a party or something. I get that it's funny to imagine that he's drinking it all this week but it may not all be his at all.

I guess if I was a JW I'd just see this as apostates nitpicking. There are so many things to nail the guy on but in this instance most would think he was cool on some level. I get that kids donate their ice cream money in a video but I give to charities and don't expect every penny to go to only the end goal.

So maybe I'm just no fun. I can see that side but it feels to me like hunting a guy down who's finally doing something like an outsider might do and now he's getting killed for it. Then again I don't like celebrity videos where paparazzi build a story out of something seemingly innocuous so maybe it's just me.

38

I got to give a speech at the University of Louisville today about JWs and Propaganda

by dubstepped in

today my wife and i went to college.

although not allowed to go to college as jws we got to lead a class today and it was really special to be able to do that.

the class was an honors class on social media and psychology and i created a presentation around the propaganda and manipulation used against us as jws.

dubstepped

Lol Smiddy. Well, I wasn't wearing a jacket, so I may have been counseled on personal appearance as well, but nothing like a woman wearing pants.

29

Jehovahs Witness n Retention rates !!! Check this out.

by ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara in

jw
friends

a study of religious retention rates–that is, what percentage of people raised in a particular church or religion stay with it when they are grown–is quite interesting.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/geneveith/2012/07/religious-retention-rates/.

jdubs have alittle over 36%.

dubstepped

@WingCommander - It's from 2012. My guess is that the numbers are even worse for them now. A lot has changed in 7 years.