Posts by dubstepped

51

Just found out my older brother has passed away

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

i have just found out that my brother (who was one of a bunch that shared this login) has died.. he and his wife were living in another country where they once pioneered.

i didn't see him that often.. such an empty feeling.....

dubstepped

So sorry for your loss, and for the distance over the years.

204

Candace Conti Settles

by Nitty-Gritty in

hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

but it's all quiet here.

are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

dubstepped

dubstepped: "Saying that nobody should answer their door for JW's if they have kids."
I've seen news video of a JW pedophile knocking on doors. If I were an elder in his congregation I would ban him from doing any field service.

Sure, if someone is a known pedophile, it would be prudent not to open one's door for them if you have young children. I wasn't referring to posts in reference to one isolated incident with known predators caught on camera, but rather the view that there's just JW pedo's running amok in the streets, knocking on doors to steal everyone's children. I'm sure that it happens, but not at levels to justify the hysteria accompanying these discussions. Otherwise we should all just hide our wives and kids because the world is a dangerous place.

I do agree that there is no reason for a pedophile to be going out in field service. If rigidity and dogmatism demands that literally every individual preach the good news, let him or her write letters or something for others to follow up on. Still, if that person wants to molest kids, nobody is going to stop him/her. They can be managed, but ultimately it is up to them to stop.

204

Candace Conti Settles

by Nitty-Gritty in

hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

but it's all quiet here.

are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

dubstepped

I've never spoken on this subject at all, not that anyone was waiting for me to, but I thought I'd finally chime in.

First, the original post is in bad form. If you're trying to get anyone to actually listen, you might want to change your tactics. Then again, it is reminiscent of the ego driven organization that I was involved in for so long, devoid of empathy and usually either on the attack or playing the victim.

However, that doesn't mean that I don't agree with some of nitty's points. I actually was in a congregation where a convicted molester started studying and coming to meetings. He was related to another family in the congregation. The elders did a good job of letting everyone with children know the concern and he was watched. That's really about all they can do. If he went on to molest someone with everyone aware and on guard, that's not the organization's fault.

I also grew up with a friend in my congregation who I later found out was molested. His parents, both of them as far as I'm aware, perpetrated it and forced the kids to do things to one another. Just absolutely horrible stuff. Was that the organization's fault in some way? Nope.

People do all kinds of messed up things. In my opinion, many here hate the organization and want to see them taken down by any means possible. I've seen posts here lately that make it seem like the entire congregation is nothing but evil people looking to prey upon children. Saying that nobody should answer their door for JW's if they have kids. That kind of hysterical speech just casts doubts when someone really was hurt because it becomes so overblown. People always want to sue and go after the deep pockets feeling that someone should have to pay, particularly in such emotional events as the devastating effects of molestation on kids and their families. I understand why, but you don't necessarily get to sue people that couldn't have prevented something just because they have money and you got hurt. Well, you do get to sue, but not necessarily win. Going around labeling people based on one accusation is a great way to get sued yourself, and in one's honest hope to protect children they may be hurting other people unnecessarily. It is a slippery slope, and I don't believe that there is any way to prevent such things. That doesn't mean that the organization shouldn't try, but they can only do so much.

In the end, there isn't a really great way to handle this. You can't just go around labeling people with such a horrendous tag as a sexual predator without some sort of proof, physical or someone corroborating something. Nobody can really know what goes on behind closed doors. Only the people living there know, and we don't live in a world where we can police everything. With that said, the police do exist, and I'm in favor of every case being sent to them as the authorities. Barring another adult in the family going to them, if elders know about something I think that they should have to report it and let the authorities do a professional investigation, not one performed by untrained general laborers.

For years it seemed that everyone turned a blind eye to what was going on with sexual predators. People didn't seem to understand the depths of the compulsion to do what they do, and often if a person "found God" in some way and appeared to be a fine, upstanding citizen, they were cleared of suspicion. I would be concerned that in the organization this would still be true on some level. People in the organization seem to trust one another implicitly, and often to a fault. They see the organization as a romanticized group of people that are like a fantasy, all good upstanding people with hearts of gold that carry nothing but Jehovah's laws and principles on their hearts. There is an unrealistic view of one another, and of those taking the lead, that does scare me for kids. In the instance that I mentioned above where the elders warned our congregation of the new person that was attending, I shuddered as I watched my own parents let my little sister talk to him. In my opinion, he should have known better and kept great distance, especially as he was new. But like I said before, he was related to others in the congregation, and we know that we have to keep up appearances and look a certain way, even if it means possibly exposing a little girl to someone that could be very bad for her.

4

The " Knockout Game" or a Cowardly Punch ?.

by smiddy in

i started this op because of an interchange of two posters on this board which hit a nerve with me , as the title suggests.. i think the video clip /u-tube shown was self explanatory that it is not a myth as one poster said., which was viewed under the subject of the confederate flag.. i cannot imagine the chaos / fallout that would occur if whites adopt the same "game " as these guys.and go around doing the same thing.

which is probably happening anyway .but it needs to be stopped pronto.. are you up to it usa ?.

i am in australia and we have seen a trend take place here which is very troubling.

dubstepped

How can it be a game if those involved don't know they're participating until they're hurt or dead? It is simply cowardly and they should be charged with murder if that's the outcome, IMO.

19

What if JWs Viewed Disfellowshipping and Excommunication as Radical Islamists Do?

by Oubliette in

i found this statement from a recent article about isis to be quite interesting in view of the way that any jw can be accused of apostasy with little or no possible repercussions or consequences for the accuser: .

in islam, the practice of takfir, or excommunication, is theologically perilous.

if a man says to his brother, you are an infidel, the prophet said, then one of them is right.

dubstepped

If disfellowshipping is merely a substitute for stoning, they can never claim that it is done with love as a motivator. It is purely punitive at that point. You can't teach a lot of lessons to a dead man, but you can punish someone severely and make them regret their decisions while alive if you apply the right pressure. Let's face it, disfellowshipping isn't done out of love, that's just a way to get people to rationalize it so that they can feel good about carrying out the dirty work of organizational control. In my case, reaching out to a disfellowshipped person has resulted in me being shunned by many. I'd rather be shunned for doing the loving thing than loved for doing the shunning thing. It is psychological bullying.

2

Cult Parents

by berrygerry in

saw a similar one on reddit.. this in from tumblr ex-mormon.. .

dubstepped

A-freaking-men! It is all about control, not love.

31

Crisis Of Conscience In Audio Format?

by dubstepped in

i'm just wondering if the book is available to be listened to in any format?

i know that it can be found online and read freely, and i've been through some of it, but i just wondered if it was available in any other way.

i guess it would be lacking some of the copies of articles and such that were in the original book, but it would still be interesting.

dubstepped

Lol, oops, clearly I'm not into Doctor Who. I showed it to my wife and she got it right away. I'm still surprised that it was over my head. Normally I notice things like that.

28

What instructions came with the new brochure?

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

like the title says, i'm wondering if anyone here knows what instructions came with the new brochure about returning to jehovah.

did each person get a certain number at the convention?

are they to be handed out at will, up to each publisher's individual discretion?

dubstepped

J.W. : Have a new brochure to reach out for those who have strayed for one reason or another .
Me : Oh no here we go ,I`m going to be inundated with brochures from family and former friends trying to get me back into the organization .
A few months pass and I have not received one brochure .
Me : What ?, I haven`t even received one brochure from anybody , friend , or relative , nobody has sent me a brochure , what`s wrong with me ? Why haven`t I received one ?
smiddy

^^^This^^^ is exactly why I asked this question. My wife and I had a bet on how many we would receive. She thought ten. My guess was two, one sister that kind of stalks us and I figured a wildcard. So far we're both high on the guess since it is zero, but one person did attempt to befriend my wife on Facebook and someone else asked her if we were at the convention through social media right after the talk. Still, actually doing something and bringing us the brochure hasn't happened yet. I could have written the above Smiddy. We can't decide if we want to get them to know someone cares, or if we should just hope for the continuing success of our fade.

And as someone else mentioned, you get a free judgement with every brochure. How kind of them! Because, as we all know, they are the possessors of God, and leaving them means leaving him, so they know where everyone stands. There's really no need for Christ to judge at some point. JW's have already done it for him.

28

What instructions came with the new brochure?

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

like the title says, i'm wondering if anyone here knows what instructions came with the new brochure about returning to jehovah.

did each person get a certain number at the convention?

are they to be handed out at will, up to each publisher's individual discretion?

dubstepped

Like the title says, I'm wondering if anyone here knows what instructions came with the new brochure about returning to Jehovah. Did each person get a certain number at the convention? Are they to be handed out at will, up to each publisher's individual discretion? Might some inactive ones get hit with a pile of them while others go ignored? Is there any organization to make sure that everyone gets one? Are they putting inactive people's pictures up on "Wanted" posters on the information boards in the back of the KH? Maybe they could shoot them at people with those air guns like t-shirts at a sporting event? How is this supposed to work?

Thanks for shedding any light on this.

11

Is this a big reason that JW's are so attractive to some out there?

by dubstepped in

in another thread i saw it mentioned that this elder and his wife were trying to preach to the poster here and said that they liked that jw's had answers to their questions.

i've heard that over and over throughout the years, and it does make sense on a level.

people in other religions sometimes have questions and are told that this or that is a mystery, or that they just have to have faith, etc.

dubstepped

In another thread I saw it mentioned that this elder and his wife were trying to preach to the poster here and said that they liked that JW's had answers to their questions. I've heard that over and over throughout the years, and it does make sense on a level. People in other religions sometimes have questions and are told that this or that is a mystery, or that they just have to have faith, etc. Not that the same can't ever happen in the JW faith, but I really think it is possible that a lot of people just get sucked in because JW's will come up with an answer for just about anything. In thinking about it, it made me realize that simply being in possession of an answer doesn't make a person right. However, for many people they've never been given anything, and I think that for many it boils down to something being better than nothing. At least JW's answered their questions. In the past I too had answers for everything. They were programmed into me. Now I realize that many of those answers had no foundation, but back then I knew that JW's had all of the answers. Too bad many of those answers should have been an honest "we just don't truly know that for sure" instead of "it is definitely (regurgitate whatever they read in a magazine without any fact checking).