My wife brought the subject up today and is feeling like sending her letters now too. However, I want to give her some time to think on it and process her feelings. I would never want her to make a decision she regrets. Apparently addressing the letters really made her feel the weight and permanence of all of this. It's funny. I was crushed and felt it while writing the letters, and she felt it while addressing them. That's pretty much us, lol, just a little out of sync time wise.
As we were talking something hit me. During the RC while Stewart was grilling some elder on the stand about child abuse he made the point that JW's don't care about those outside the organization and their kids. They do nothing to protect them by not pushing for police involvement. What it made me think of is how we as JW's or even former JW's still think of things through that narrow focus, seeing things through their eyes. However, what about us? In this case my wife and I, and many here that have posted or pm'ed me have been concerned about our family's reaction. What if they never talk to us again? After all, DA'ing puts up another barrier. But that's seeing things only through the actions that they might take. What about us? Do we want to have any interactions with them really? What would we talk about, as their lives are pretty much wrapped up in being one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Even if we could talk freely, would they respect boundaries and not try to preach to us? How would that make us feel? Or you, if that's your situation? We keep looking at "losing our families" and being crushed by it, and it is indeed a sad thing. But the reality seems to be in most cases that unless we on this side of things went back to being a Witness or unless they started to come our direction, we really couldn't have much of a relationship anyway. JW's are very black and white, all or nothing, and the religion is the focal point of their lives. Notice that I didn't say Jehovah and Jesus was the focal point, but more so the performing of tasks given by the organization. I'm afraid that even just knowing TTATT puts distance between us that is tough to ever bridge.
Does anyone here that hasn't DA'ed have a great relationship with those that they are staying in for? From looking around the forum I don't see much. I see lots of people that are agitated by the loved ones in their lives that try to preach to them, or that try to trick them into doing something that would get them DF'ed, or similar other negative posts. Maybe I should start a thread about it just out of curiosity. Are there good relationships that can withstand the differences caused when someone starts to see things differently and breaks away? Are people avoiding DA'ing just on a hope and a prayer and no real proof that it works out?