I think that anytime a person comes to a forum where people like you and I are vulnerable enough to tell our stories without charge, those who come merely for self-promotion and gain will be look upon unfavorably. I'm a member of many forums. On most those people are just banned for spamming. Thus those people often are received with cynicism.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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26
My Book, 'Gifts in Men', by Patricia F.Sadio
by GiftsinMen inanother member on here announced the publication of my new book "gifts in men, a heavier responsibility" a couple of months ago and some of you asked who i was as to my authenticity and motives.
i have had an amazing reaction to my book even from jws who know me and my story but were still shocked at the details.
i was not raised a jw, not disfellowshipped nor disassociated and loved being a regular pioneer, serving in uk and ireland.
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A Judicial experience.
by John Aquila inwhen i was an elder in the 80s, a 16 year old baptized jw girl had confessed that at school during lunch a boy kissed her and touched her privates over her dress.
the circuit overseer was in town and we told him of the situation and he called the society and then told us that mother said we were not allowed to conduct the funeral in the kingdom hall or anywhere else with the threat of removing us and being dealt with judicially if we disobeyed.
the mother who is about 79 years old comes once a year to talk to my mom about the situation.
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dubstepped
John Aquila - My mom told me today that a couple of sisters she hangs out with told her the other day that Jehovah’s spirit has left me and I’m as good as dead.
WTF is wrong with those people? Seriously, how can they tell a mom something like that? Somehow the Borg manages to not only remove the mind of the people, but their hearts too. That turned my stomach. So did the story you told. Come to think of it, there isn't much about them that doesn't, but I'm still somehow surprised at the cruelty of the people that follow the religion.
And I know it is tough, but you're much more as a human being than a person that spent so much time as JW. Sure, you never got to help out children like you mentioned, but you're helping people here through a problem that affects people that don't often have an advocate. Your posts have helped me. I'm sure that even as JW you helped others just because you're a sensitive and thoughtful guy to be more human and less artificial like the majority of the Borg. Who you are underneath the ego, underneath the JW indoctrination over those years, would have shined through and impacted others. It seems from your stories that you've come in contact with a lot of people. I'm sure you made an impact, even if it wasn't in one specific way that you would have felt was a better use of your time. We can all question what we've done with our years. Everyone does at the end, even the guy helping kids with deformed faces. He probably has something out there that he never got to try.
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help me understand: My wife seems to be utterly detested by skelletons and skulls. Why?
by goingthruthemotions inso, here i am again....asking more questions to help me understand my wife.
she was brought up in the cult in the 70's and 80's.
so i can only imagine what kind of indoctrination she deals with.
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dubstepped
Skeletons and skulls primarily come out on..........Halloween, the JW's favorite holiday (j/k). She probably equates them with what she sees as a demonic holiday. Not to mention death, which isn't exactly something pleasant.
There's a huge zombie walk going on here this weekend and we were invited to go and we just can't do it. I know that some JW's like zombies but our families in particular were uber conservative. My wife's family never even had a tv. So, we just aren't accustomed to that imagery. It makes us feel weird, though we know that it is definitely popular today. To each his/her own as long as they aren't forcing their view on others or hurting somebody.
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dubstepped
They truly love in their own world. Somehow he managed to make cartoon characters aimed at indoctrinating children even more creepy. -
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Young ex-JW Jason Droboth explains the benefits of University
by wheelwithinwheel inchristian and katja interview a young ex-jw.
excellent!.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_ursarjohg.
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dubstepped
So awesome. Glad for that young man that he found an authentic path in life. It sounds like it really agrees with his interests and disposition. I gave up college myself and I had lots of scholarship opportunities. Had to get out there and knock on doors all week where nobody was home and put in lots of hours with a bunch of women that wanted nothing to do with the only young brother. In our congregation, brothers and sisters didn't really work together in service. That only lead to fornication, you know. Even if they're in their 70's. Anyway, I literally worked alone many days for hours on end. Man I wish I never settled for what other people wanted for me instead of what I wanted. So congrats Jason! Stay the course and enjoy your life! -
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Thought I was stronger!
by Peony injust come home from a weight loss class early.
it's 6 months since i da'd and two and a half years since i've been to a meeting.
there was a witness there (unless she has left, i wouldn't know) we made eye contact!
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dubstepped
I like what FayeDunaway says above. One thing I've noticed is the immense shame that people feel when leaving the Borg, whether they left voluntarily or involuntarily. My brother, who I reconnected with after many years of being DF'ed, seemed to carry that shame to some degree for all of those years. I'm determined that whenever my DA finally gets announced I don't want it to impact the way I am around those people who will now shun me. My goal is to be really nice any time I see them at first and to shame them for their behavior if they refuse to interact. I'm not taking that bullcrap on myself, and I know that's a huge purpose of shunning, to make you feel lower than dirt (as if you're dead) so that you feel so ashamed you come back. Nope, not going there. I want to talk to them like I normally would and if they won't talk back I want to ask them questions like if they think they're being loving by trying to psychologically manipulate people to come back with the silent treatment. I honestly think I may have to refrain from making fun of them. I don't want to, as I don't want to be a bully myself, but I do also want to make them feel that shame, make them feel awkward like they want me to feel, make them feel rejected as they would have me feel. It's all so stupid, and I want to point it out.
I'm so sorry that it got to you like that. I've seen it before and it hurts. I think that with my family it may be harder because there was a closer relationship there that I'm more hurt by losing and I'm sure that they were hurt by my decision. But ultimately I am trying very hard to remember that I'm just being me. They are the ones treating me differently. I never did anything to them. They ARE doing something to me by shunning me. That's on them, and I don't want to take any of that on as my own. They should be ashamed of their behavior, not me.
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Was Anyone Disfellowshipped Twice? How About Three Times?
by anewme inyears ago there was this guy ****** ******* i'll never forget him.
disfellowshipped 3 times!!!!
at the last dfing announcement the brother got up there and yelled into the mic .
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dubstepped
Fisherman, in what world are the DF'ed spoken to at the Kingdom Hall and when on the street? They shun and you know it. Heck, we were shunned and not even DF'ed or anything. Stop trying to whitewash their graves. We all know what's inside. -
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Introducing Myself
by Peony ini've finally got round to joining the site (after over 2 years lurking!
i was born into jws, pioneered for 10 years (met my husband at pioneer school).
had health issues that saw me catapulted away from 'the centre of the cong' and wow what a different place that was!
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dubstepped
Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story and I hope to learn more. My wife and I just sent in our DA letters ourselves. I'd love to hear how you're dealing with the fallout and how life is going on for you guys. It helps to share our stories and to hear those of others. The journey out can be very lonely. -
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Go on welfare!
by life is to short ini am going to make this short.
i ran into a older jw women who i have known my whole life.
she is pushing 80 and will never change.
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dubstepped
Even if they don't go straight on the government dole, one elder was telling me how he doesn't have to pay anything under the new Affordable Care Act for insurance because he works less and less so that he can go out in service more. Of course, while his premiums go down, those of us who work our tails off have to pay more to care for those like them who aren't healthy and aren't spending time contributing into the system. I know of others that are on various welfare programs because they want to do more for Jehovah. We had a pioneer couple on the circuit assembly program years ago that were living in government housing and on welfare. My wife and I couldn't believe what we were hearing. If nothing else, when they are pushed their whole lives to abstain from overtime and limit their earning they aren't putting much into the system. Not that everyone should work themselves to death just to pay into a system, but many do as little as possible to provide for themselves materially and then later need assistance because of poor planning. I wish I'd have done things differently myself. The only good thing is that I've still got years to earn and save for retirement, though I'm considerably behind. I hate the mentality that they instill in their followers. -
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Why Me?
by John Aquila indo you ever wonder why out of all the witnesses, you are the one that woke up?
i wonder many times why me.
i know many men and women that are much, much better persons than me; either they are much smarter, more humble, kinder, more successful, or just better persons all around.
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dubstepped
I think it all comes down to openness and courage to face fears and challenge things, looking for something better as a seeker in life. Most people prefer the comfort of thinking they have found what they're looking for and that illusion to the life of constantly seeking and growing. Growing pains accompany such seeking, and most seek to avoid the pain. There are plenty of intelligent, caring, self-sacrificing people that will simply not have the natural ability or tools that it takes to step out on their own and buck the system, whatever that system is. Look through history and it is those that stood apart as different that grew the most, but they were also the rarity. It isn't the quality of person that matters but specific qualities of that person that can make one see TTATT and walk away.