Posts by dubstepped

14

Life After Disassociation (or really leaving by any means)

by dubstepped in

i just wanted to take a minute to encourage any that are leaving that the world outside isn't as scary as it was made out to be.

my wife and i officially da'd at the beginning of last september.

i've battled social anxiety, depression, etc.

dubstepped

Thanks AFS! Like you with us, people want to see you succeed and be happy. The world isn't just some cold awful place. I hope you find whatever you are looking for too. Everything in time. It works best if you don't rush it.

14

Life After Disassociation (or really leaving by any means)

by dubstepped in

i just wanted to take a minute to encourage any that are leaving that the world outside isn't as scary as it was made out to be.

my wife and i officially da'd at the beginning of last september.

i've battled social anxiety, depression, etc.

dubstepped

I just wanted to take a minute to encourage any that are leaving that the world outside isn't as scary as it was made out to be. My wife and I officially DA'd at the beginning of last September. I've battled social anxiety, depression, etc. for years and it magically all went away, well not 100% as new situations are intimidating for everyone, but they aren't paralyzing anymore. I was the guy that wouldn't even go into a new restaurant because I didn't know how it was laid out, what they had, etc.

My wife and I have been to our first Thanksgivings at other family's homes with lots of strangers. Just last night we went to our first ever cocktail party with people we didn't really know. I could go on, but you know what, people are NICE! They aren't the evil douchebags that you were always told that they were. I can't begin to describe how much happier we both are since we left, and that includes losing our families. We get to be ourselves, and we get to associate with people that are from all types of cultures and morals and it's okay. We get to be us, and they get to be them. What a novel concept! Almost like we let everyone exercise free will. It is truly a magical thing.

So just know that life gets better. It really does. We've only been out from September to now, the end of February, and life is actually fun and we have people now that actually care about us. Not that fake-azz crapola that Jehovah's Witnesses said was love and care that disappears with the wind, but people actually invite us places and ask about how we're doing and genuinely care. We could disappear for years from our congregations without a peep. Nobody really cared. Dub love is as deep as your score on their performance evaluation called a time slip or meeting attendance and participation. It's all for show, and it all falls apart if you fail to perform.

Be open and honest with people in your life outside of the organization. Tell them what you're going through, what you're going toward, and be vulnerable. We were completely open with the people we clean houses for and they've been our biggest allies through all of this. They are our new friends and family, and we've branched out from there. Find those lost Witnesses that disappeared years ago and reach out to them. We've been reacquainted with several people that left years ago and made friends there again. People are generally good, and if you're leaving something like a cult then you have one of the more interesting stories that anyone could share. People love hearing about it and find it interesting, and they will become your cheerleaders as you escape something that is so destructive. They want to see you succeed. Open vulnerability begets open vulnerability. We've learned more about others around us as we've been open, and it builds real relationships, not surface level ones like the JWs.

I just wanted to share. I hope that it helps someone out there who is afraid. We were open before leaving and saw that we had people there for us on the outside. In a short time we have more friends than we ever did in the Borg despite years and years of trying there. Peace and love to everyone going through this mess. It does get better, and we're living proof in a matter of months.

375

This thread is for proof that God exists

by juandefiero in

jw
friends

however, i haven't found any evidence to support that belief.. have you?

if so please, show me the evidence that god exists, and i will believe along with you.. criteria:.

(1) you must specify which god you are talking about;.

dubstepped

What does it say about love that it cannot be proven conclusively? Hey, the Bible says that God is love. Maybe neither are real.

40

Narcissistic personality disorder and the dubs

by purrpurr in

jw
friends

i've recently started to research npd.

having identified several of my family members as having it ( no wonder we're such a ¿***#@**!!!!

up family)there's huge similarities between the borg and individual members of the cong as well i've noticed.the over whelming love of self, the need to believe in a grandiose fictional version of themselves, always striving for more power and wealth, being unable to stand any criticism, and then there's the manipulation of the victims too.i could be wrong i guess but what thoughts do you guys have about it?

dubstepped

@slimboyfat - I never said that I had NPD or that anyone else said so. I am a recovering narcissist, in that I formerly possessed many narcissistic traits and probably always will fight them (much like perfectionism, another mindset that I've fought for years). As stated by another poster above, there's a huge difference between true narcissistic personality disorder and simple narcissism.

With regard to psychology, I think classifying it as "hedging its bets" is quite harsh. I would certainly hope that it allows for things like gray areas and disorders the lie on spectrums because we humans aren't simple binary creatures that can be easily placed in a well defined box. People don't work that way. It is an inexact science. There is a lot of judgement involved as humans do their best to help other humans.

41

Why the Deficit at the Circuit Assembly?

by JT-LadyC in

have you ever wondered why there is always a deficit at the circuit assembly?

did you realize that before the program begins, the circuit is already in the red?

many of the friends thought they were paying for the use of the building and covering the costs of the utilities, etc.

dubstepped

Nice video. I went and watched some more of your videos. You both do quite well with them and my wife and I enjoyed them. Thanks for sharing.

375

This thread is for proof that God exists

by juandefiero in

jw
friends

however, i haven't found any evidence to support that belief.. have you?

if so please, show me the evidence that god exists, and i will believe along with you.. criteria:.

(1) you must specify which god you are talking about;.

dubstepped

It seems from the derisive attitude toward people that believe in something that cannot conclusively be proven or disproven, that rather than being atheists many here are more anti-theists. There's so much mocking thrown at others for their beliefs. It reminds me of my J-dub days, making fun of (insert name of religion here) for their absurd beliefs, looking down on them for not seeing what we saw then as obvious and unequivocal truth. I totally get why people would be anti-God, anti-religion, etc. after life as a dub. I think I'm trying to embrace anti-certainty, no longer needing to declare anything as absolute truth, being curious. I had my fill of beating my chest as the guy that knew what was right, lording over those that were "wrong". Leaving " the truth " was humbling in ways.

40

Narcissistic personality disorder and the dubs

by purrpurr in

jw
friends

i've recently started to research npd.

having identified several of my family members as having it ( no wonder we're such a ¿***#@**!!!!

up family)there's huge similarities between the borg and individual members of the cong as well i've noticed.the over whelming love of self, the need to believe in a grandiose fictional version of themselves, always striving for more power and wealth, being unable to stand any criticism, and then there's the manipulation of the victims too.i could be wrong i guess but what thoughts do you guys have about it?

dubstepped

Actually having a personality disorder is rare, and very difficult to diagnose. Showing narcissist traits, however, is easier to look for. Not all dubs are narcissists for sure, but the doctrine and way people outside the organization are labeled and judged is to strip away their humanity, so even emotionally healthy dubs see people with a toxic lens that they've adopted.

I am a recovering narcissist. I learned about this thing called empathy, something called the ego, and worked through tons of emotional abuse. My stomach turns when thinking about how I once viewed people. I was a very sensitive kid that became very cold and calloused over the years. I'm glad to say that I found that emotional kid inside (thanks to a book called "Healing The Shame That Binds").

Even the most empathetic dubs with beautiful relationships still are at the mercy of narcissistic doctrine. You and I are ultimately bird food, enemies of God, and therefore their enemies. I once realized years ago that it was hard to care about people at the doors because I was taught to see them so derisively.

375