Posts by dubstepped

34

So Today Was My Wife's First Ever Birthday Party

by dubstepped in

she turned one today, and 36 earlier this week.

we planned a big party, big for two people that have never thrown a party before.

we rented a church fellowship hall because 1. it was nice and big and affordable and 2. it was kind of awesome to throw a party in a place we would have never ventured in our previous life.

dubstepped

FayeDunaway - Sorry, I have to tell you about my first birthday 'out'. It was miserable! My husband left the religion with me but didn't grasp the birthdays holidays thing yet. So I cried in the bedroom. My little daughter came in and saw me crying and went out and came back later with a birthday card. It made my day.
The next year I threw myself a party! Invited some ex witness old friends I had reconnected with. Had a full on cake with candles ....even a pinata .
That year was a crazy year. Everybody needed a big first birthday party!! It was catch up time. I was worn out. But it was fantastic.
I'm so happy for your wife and I hope she throws one for you too!

I'm sorry you felt that way the first year out with your husband. My wife and I are on different timelines as far as when we're comfortable with some new things as this process has gone on. We decided early on not to do anything new until we were both comfortable with it. It helped a lot. Last year she wanted to do Christmas full on, just a couple months after disassociating, and I wasn't there yet. This December we'll do it though as I've come around. Intellectually I didn't have a huge problem with it last year, but emotionally I just couldn't feel right yet, it still felt dirty and wrong like the dubs made it my whole life. Funny thing is that I celebrated until I was about 8-9ish so I have wonderful memories of the holidays, but the indoctrination was something I took on wholly.

I'm glad to hear that you got your party eventually and rocked it. Good for you! A pinata though? See, the dubs were right, violence does ensue.

My birthday is next month. No big party for me. I'm more of a low key, hate to be the center of attention, hiding in the corner type of guy, though my social anxiety has come down tremendously since leaving the dubs. One couple has invited us out to a really nice, high end expensive dinner on them for my birthday. My wife has planned some things for me that are my style. Oh, and I've been dying to go out of town lately even if just for a long weekend, so I get to pick a place I want to go and we'll go there. I'm sure I'll get together with friends for a dinner or something too.

34

So Today Was My Wife's First Ever Birthday Party

by dubstepped in

she turned one today, and 36 earlier this week.

we planned a big party, big for two people that have never thrown a party before.

we rented a church fellowship hall because 1. it was nice and big and affordable and 2. it was kind of awesome to throw a party in a place we would have never ventured in our previous life.

dubstepped

zeb10 hours ago so what did you buy her?

She loves ginger, not humans with red heads (back to the beheadings), but ginger flavored things and ginger itself. It is a kick she's been on for some time now. So I found things she's never had like ginger preserves, pickled ginger, a balm made out of ginger, dried ginger with sugar, and an especially strong ginger tea. I don't like to give someone a gift that they consume and it's all gone, so I also bought her a new cross-body purse. It has lots of pockets and organization, which she likes, is gray, which she likes, and kind of like a ripstop nylon, which she likes. Instead of carrying a big bulky purse when we go out to football games and such she can wear this.

I've never wrapped a gift before, lol. I love giving gifts but have never been patient enough for crafty things. But my wife loves the new adult coloring books (no, not THAT kind of "adult"), so I found the first picture she ever colored and made copies of it. I then lined up the 8.5x11 sheets and trimmed them and created my own wrapping paper.

For the bow I used a neon yellow and neon orange shoelace with the word "finish" on each. A few years back, in a pivotal moment that rocked our JW world, we owed $55,000 in back taxes. We spent 18 months working 7 days a week (many weeks) and as many hours as possible every day to pay that off. Near the end of paying it all off (we had to make an extra $80,000 to pay back the $55,000 and taxes on that extra money too) we were just mentally and physically destroyed and we started dragging. So I bought us crazy mismatched neon shoelaces and wrote the word "finish" on them. When we got tired and looked down we saw those laces and it reminded us of what we were doing it all for. Who knew that time spent away from indoctrination would also allow us to start waking up, lol. It is a story unto itself.

And my wife loves flowers and laser cut things (like purses with laser cut patterns) so I found a card with a pop-up laser cut vase and flower bouquet. It was a hit.

You only get one first birthday, so I tried to make it memorable.

34

So Today Was My Wife's First Ever Birthday Party

by dubstepped in

she turned one today, and 36 earlier this week.

we planned a big party, big for two people that have never thrown a party before.

we rented a church fellowship hall because 1. it was nice and big and affordable and 2. it was kind of awesome to throw a party in a place we would have never ventured in our previous life.

dubstepped

My keychain knife just won't do it. It was more of a minor slashing. Like you said, we'll get better with time.

34

So Today Was My Wife's First Ever Birthday Party

by dubstepped in

she turned one today, and 36 earlier this week.

we planned a big party, big for two people that have never thrown a party before.

we rented a church fellowship hall because 1. it was nice and big and affordable and 2. it was kind of awesome to throw a party in a place we would have never ventured in our previous life.

dubstepped

She turned one today, and 36 earlier this week. We planned a big party, big for two people that have never thrown a party before. We rented a church fellowship hall because 1. it was nice and big and affordable and 2. it was kind of awesome to throw a party in a place we would have never ventured in our previous life. Whatever my wife wanted, she got, and the party was exactly what she wanted. Less than a year after leaving the dubs last September, we had 60+ people come out just to support my wife and her first birthday. She got lots of presents, had fun talking to lots of people, got to have her own special day, and all of those evil "worldly" people rallied around her.

It was a great time with lots of great people. We won't have a big bash like that every year, most likely, as it was a ton of work and we dropped some coin on the venue, decorations, cake, games, and on and on and on. Regardless, you only get to have one first birthday, and my wife had a great one. She's had a great week overall, with many well-wishes. I look forward to many more birthday celebrations with my wife outside the grips of the ridiculous cult we once belonged to.

Oh, and nobody was beheaded. ;)

21

Is it me or were the experiences at the assemblies really contrived?

by keyser soze in

jw
friends

my favorite were the ones where they were reading a wt publication in the break room at work, and an inquisitive co-worker, thirsty for spiritual knowledge approaches them.

this leads to an informal witness, which eventually leads to bible study and baptism.. in all my years of working, i've never had anyone show the slightest bit of interest in what i was reading while i was on my break at work.

but as i said, maybe it's just me..

dubstepped

Oh yeah, as a kid I had elders and the C.O. standing there, judging my every word at rehearsals and making sure that I thought long and hard about how I could best encourage the "friends" by lying to them, and myself. It's horrible. Nothing is ever good enough.

9

We Cannot Understand Because We Are Not Perfect

by berrygerry in

starting this thread because of katewild's post.

(from where came god?).

the unanswerable questions of life are usually attributed to: "we are imperfect, so cannot understand.

dubstepped

I liked a point brought out once in a Watchtower study (can't remember now if it was in the paragraph or a comment I made after reading between the lines), but so far perfection is batting .333 against sin. Let's face it, out of 3 perfect humans only one made it through with perfection intact and it took the Son of God to do that. Odds aren't good for humanity at large. Clearly God created a defective product. Don't blame the product, blame the manufacturer.

83

Seeking support ... Where can a Christian go

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

so i recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.. i have been spending time reading various posts.

some informative, some not so much.. since i've been reading on here, i've read a lot from atheists.

dubstepped

No no Sevan, you don't get to decide when you're ready, the atheist brigade will make sure you don't have time. You will be challenged and if you can't handle it, they will beat their chests in victory. Just like as JWs, the most important thing is that you know deep down they're right even if you're reeling and not ready for that part. You made the mistake of thinking you knew what was best for you, but there are a few select people here that know that better than you.

I ended up on the atheist/agnostic side of things because I refused to engage in Bible discussions here but took my time and evaluated things on my own, taking things into consideration that I read here and elsewhere. Had I been pounced on reminiscent of my dub days when "worldly" people would gang up and try to take down the dub, I would have been forced deeper into my faith to ward off what I wasn't ready for. You don't get that chance here. The flogging will continue until morale improves.

This whole thing is a process. Give your time and attention to those worthy of it and ignore the rest until you're ready. Preying on the weak who have just had their world shattered is what the dubs do.

89

Need advice

by Drwho in

i'm a middle aged man.

i dated a jw lady for 3 months ., we never had sex, just made out , half naked , well everything except underwear .

she has been a jw for 40 years ., was married to a jw but he committed adultery 13 years ago so they divorced .

dubstepped

Even if you were able to get her out you are putting her in a position to choose between you and her kids. If she leaves they will likely have to shun her. How do you think that will make her feel? You better be damn serious about your relationship and committed, otherwise you're just playing dangerous games with other people's lives.

83

Seeking support ... Where can a Christian go

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

so i recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.. i have been spending time reading various posts.

some informative, some not so much.. since i've been reading on here, i've read a lot from atheists.

dubstepped

You might find Beroean Pickets to be good for you. I went there a lot when I first left and still believed in God and the Bible. I haven't been there in a while though. There is a lot of detailed information there and there was some community built around it. Here's the site:

Beroean Pickets

31

Serena

by Darryl in

jw
friends

i was watching serena win yet another wimbledon title recently (congrats to her) but it got me to thinking about her for a moment.

she identifies herself as a jw and if you look up any info on her it will tell you that her religion is jw so that means that she herself and the rest of the world identifies her as a jw.. for those of us who are df'd as well as those of you who are about to be df'd what is the reason?

and what is the main difference between a df and a fade away?

dubstepped

I've met many people in field service that said they were dubs just be cause they had studied before and liked what they heard. Anyone can claim to be a JW. It doesn't mean anything. Why should I care what Serena does. I'm not a dub anymore and have no reason to get hurt by it.