Posts by dubstepped

10

Today is my first "Shunniversary"

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i just wanted to thank this community for being there during my most difficult period of life.

even if it wasn't a direct interaction, i was reading, and i've taken away a lot over the past year plus.

on september 2 of last year the local congregation announced that my wife and i were no longer jehovah's witnesses because we chose to disassociate.

dubstepped

Congratulations. I'm very happy to hear that your family are well and thriving outside of that cult. I love that you didn't (or they didn't either) use your father's passing to make you change your mind. JWs are known for using other people's unfortunate events to push their agenda.

Nobody ever tried to change my mind. Nobody ever tried to "save" us. Once my family found out that I was going to start talking to my DF'ed brother after over a decade of shunning him, they backed away from me. Once my wife's family found out, they called her an apostate instantly and never talked to her again, even though it would be another several months before we disassociated. Actually, I guess I should thank them. Their complete lack of demonstrable love showed us both that we had little to lose. During that summer my wife and I had wager on how many "Return To Jehovah" brochures we would get. I guessed two, and she guessed double digits (10+). We received zero, lol. Such a "loving" organization. It sure made leaving them all behind easier.

When my dad died nobody said a thing. I wasn't invited to the memorial, and although I did get to see my dad one last time for 30 minutes or so to say goodbye, all of the dubs that were there were offended by my presence and left before I was allowed in the room. F*&! them all, but at the same time, thanks! I know that I truly lost nothing but shells of human beings, monsters of sorts, and we're thriving in a world full of humans with their entire humanity intact.

I thought I was the only ex-JW who uses atheism and Thanksgiving in the same paragraph. Doesn't it feel great to do and believe whatever the eff you want?

Haha, it is such an amazing feeling. Why can't I be thankful without a specific deity involved, as you know. Gratitude is a natural and healthy part of life. My wife and I often do "happies" in the car on the way to work in the morning to start our day. We just take turns listing things that we're happy about, or looking forward to, about our day. Now, I have to admit that I was uncomfortable when a prayer was offered at one of the Thanksgivings that we went to, even though at that point I wasn't quite over God yet as it was just a couple months after my disassociation. Getting over God took a little longer for me.

We actually ran into someone we worked for years ago at a local restaurant and they invited us to eat with them. We sat down to eat and he asked me to say a prayer over the meal. THAT was awkward, lol, but I just summoned up my best JW rote prayer, minus the name Jehovah, and made it happen. I was taken aback by the request and caught off guard, but it worked out. Still, I wouldn't want to have to do it again. I would respectfully decline at this point.

10

Today is my first "Shunniversary"

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i just wanted to thank this community for being there during my most difficult period of life.

even if it wasn't a direct interaction, i was reading, and i've taken away a lot over the past year plus.

on september 2 of last year the local congregation announced that my wife and i were no longer jehovah's witnesses because we chose to disassociate.

dubstepped

You're asking the wrong person. I don't feel a need to worship anything. You might want to start your own topic asking that question. You don't have to have worship to have community. Click "New Topic" at the top and post a thread asking your question and maybe you'll find someone with answers. That's how it typically works on a forum. Rather than asking a question on a subject that isn't relevant to the post that is already there, it is best to start your own. Welcome to the forum.

10

Today is my first "Shunniversary"

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i just wanted to thank this community for being there during my most difficult period of life.

even if it wasn't a direct interaction, i was reading, and i've taken away a lot over the past year plus.

on september 2 of last year the local congregation announced that my wife and i were no longer jehovah's witnesses because we chose to disassociate.

dubstepped

I just wanted to thank this community for being there during my most difficult period of life. Even if it wasn't a direct interaction, I was reading, and I've taken away a lot over the past year plus. On September 2 of last year the local congregation announced that my wife and I were no longer Jehovah's Witnesses because we chose to disassociate.

This past year of living in freedom has been better than I could have imagined. My wife and I have made so many new friends, and we've seen for ourselves that life outside of "Jehovah's protection" has been better than it ever was while on the inside. I've gone from JW to loving my newfound Christian freedom to agnostic/atheist. We celebrated our first Thanksgivings last year on separate days with different families that took us in as one of their own. Speaking of family, I just reconnected with a cousin that I haven't seen since I was a child two weeks ago. Speaking of reconnecting, I'm now friends with people that I hadn't seen in over a decade, friends that I had when younger that left the dubs. My wife didn't have but one such person from her younger days, and we're going on a trip to Austin to see her in November. This year will be our first time doing the Christmas thing. We just weren't ready for it last year, and now we are.

Bit by bit the cult personality is shed. I cannot for the life of me believe that I once lived the life that I lived as a JW. I can't believe that I put faith in what I did as a JW either. That life is becoming foreign to me.

I lost my dad in April and that was rough for a week, but my new life has taken over. I wish my mom, my one brother, and my sister that are still in could enjoy the new life I have with me. However, ultimately that's their choice to stay behind. Our new friends love us for us. We don't have to agree on everything and that's awesome.

I hope that this post serves as a thank you to those here that I've communicated with and SImon for being responsible for this community. I also hope that it serves to inspire others that are afraid to leave. Just do it. I know that it isn't popular, but I highly recommend disassociation, though everything is based on your individual feelings and circumstances. I'm not going to be like so many that take shots at disassociation as though it is just hands down the wrong thing to do. If you need to fade, then fade like a boss. If you don't feel that way, pull that band-aid off and disassociate. You will never have to look over your shoulder again, never have to worry about a phone call or visit, everything just stops. It is closure, and is has been beautiful for us.

Ultimately though, no matter how you get out, my advice is boiled down to this:

RUN!!!!! Don't walk, run! The building is on fire, you're inhaling smoke, how much do you want to take into your lungs? It is impacting you, you cannot escape it. The sooner your get out, the sooner you can breathe in the fresh air. That fresh air is priceless. Don't stay in a burning building because the people in it tell you that the world outside of it is what is really on fire.

I'll leave this here below. It is a slideshow thing that I made of some highlights from our past year. It is but a fraction of the things we've done, and the new people we have in our life. Maybe it will inspire someone else though to look ahead to what life could be, to discount the jedi mind tricks that the Borg use to make you think that life will be horrible outside of their influence.

http://s118.photobucket.com/user/shemwelljr/First%20Shunniversary%20Slideshow/story

Again, thank you so much for helping me to get out, not just physically, but helping me break it all down mentally and emotionally so that my wife and I could live free.

39

JW marriages: “They” looked good on paper.

by Londo111 in

i applaud anyone, male or female, who overcomes shallowness and looks at a person’s deeper qualities, especially in regard dating and marriage.

the movie and fashion industry does much to institute shallowness to the point that, in my opinion, it promotes outright discrimination and judgmentalism even as they give lip service to tolerance..

on the other hand, among jehovah’s witnesses, there seem to be a preponderance of incompatible marriages.

dubstepped

What Londo said^^^^^^. You can't paint humans with a broad brush like that.

49

"back in the day people didn't know not to abuse kids"- a jw explanation for their abuse scandal

by purrpurr in

a few weeks back i showed the guardian article about the borg refusing to cooperate with the charity commission into child abuse to a fellow jw.

their response was quite amazing.

they told me that in the 50s-80s people didn't know about child abuse, didn't know it was wrong and no one really believed children when they claimed they had been abused - even worldly people.. they said that alot of the time children lie about being abused or therapists plant false memories in their heads and that apostates lie about being abused to undermine our faith.. about the borg not cooperating with the commission they said that it was probably because they wanted to protect the identities of jw's who had been abused.

dubstepped

So let's roll with it and say that JWs, or religion in general, didn't really understand the severity of child sexual abuse at the time. Then what is religion for? Aren't they supposed to be directed by Almighty God? Shouldn't religion be the beacon of moral light in this dark world? Or could it just be that religion is a bunch of malarkey that is always a few steps behind the secular world, waiting for discoveries to claim as their own?

21

A Hard Lesson Learned

by Disassociated Lady 2 in

do you remember that my dad passed away last year and i was going back to the witnesses after 26 years?

i got reinstated after going there for 9 months.

in the 5 months since then i felt the men in the congregation didn't want me there.

dubstepped

Didn't you say that what they found on you was from the past? How could they hold that against you unless you were still involved? Ultimately it works out best because you've seen what vile and disgusting human beings they are, but that doesn't make sense to me. Don't ever go back again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. So sorry you had to go through this mess.

11

Benefits to Faith over Reason

by cobweb in

i wrote this earlier for my own benefit in order to get some thoughts straight in my head.

it is just my own personal pondering on what i think might be the motivating force behind having a faith.

it is not intended to attack, provoke or patronize anyone who has a belief and i hope it is not taken in that way.

dubstepped

I personally think that faith is for those not yet equipped emotionally and mentally to deal with reality. Many that turn to faith are looking for answers to traumas they've faced in life. They want the promise of something better without knowing how to make things better now.

52

People hate God?

by looter in

jw
friends

it is a pain that certain individuals pride themselves on hating god, who created everything.

like it's understandable that you choose to not believe in him because of your selfishness or thinking skills but to hate him is forcing it a bit.

i'm very thankful that those such as myself have the courage to believe in the lord.

dubstepped

The OP's name is fitting because God and his followers have been robbing people blind for centuries.

43

Help Please - Finding It Hard Adjusting To The Real World

by pale.emperor in

im asking for you guys help in a phase im going through right now.

im sure it’ll pass but id appreciate your advice..

born in, my family consists of mum, dad, two brothers and two sisters.

dubstepped

Next week is my one year Shunniversary. I identify with your OP but can tell you that there's a magic point where all of that goes away fast. You have to give it time. Decades of cult indoctrination don't just disappear overnight. You need to develop friendships. That will help. You need to tell your story to people and feel seen and heard. It will happen for you. Do not give in to the cult and go back. I know the pull is strong now, but it will dissipate as one life replaces the other. Stay strong and you'll ultimately be happy like never before.

30

Why A Divine Being is Possible

by looter in

jw
friends

now we all have heard how the universe is composed of matter and space.

and we always here of how it had a beginning.

but really what could have begun it?

dubstepped

Of course it's possible. To assert that you know anything about that divine being though is the height of arrogance, as would be insisting on a divine being when you don't know. Possibility is a beautiful thing. Absolute belief without proof is delusion.