Posts by dubstepped

18

Tell me if I'm right or wrong

by Chook in

jws say they can go anywhere in the world and they " know" that they would be shown hospitality from their fellow brothers.

of all my years as a jw i found this wasn't the case.

i honestly believe that if i turned up at any of my fellow apostates on here house and said hi i'm chook can we have a coffee, the response would be how many sugars..

dubstepped

Yeah, your estimation of apostates is too high, as was the claim made by JWs.

21

Is remaining ignorant a choice?

by stuckinarut2 in

is remaining ignorant about the society a choice?.

surely every witness has a moment in time when "something just doesn't seem right"?

perhaps a teaching, doctrine, an article, a talk, a news report about child abuse handling, or a jwdubdotorg broadcast, a video, a cartoon for the kids....you know....?.

If it is a choice, why do psychological sales tactics need to be used on people? To me that shows that the goal is to override the ability to make autonomous choices. Drug addicts have choice overridden until and unless they get the tools to take choice back from chemistry in their brain. Everything being a matter of choice is a JW teaching that moralizes all activity. Psychology itself shows how easily manipulated we all are. We can do things and be made to think it was our choice when in fact someone manipulated us.

21

Is remaining ignorant a choice?

by stuckinarut2 in

is remaining ignorant about the society a choice?.

surely every witness has a moment in time when "something just doesn't seem right"?

perhaps a teaching, doctrine, an article, a talk, a news report about child abuse handling, or a jwdubdotorg broadcast, a video, a cartoon for the kids....you know....?.

dubstepped

I don't think it's a conscious choice, but more a byproduct of conditioning. Fear, obligation, and guilt are used to get the emotions to override the intellect. The choice isn't to remain ignorant, but rather to "be loyal" or "avoid apostate lies" or whatever. Ignorance may end up being a result of those choices by default, but it's not the known intent on their part. I think what they lack most of all is the emotional toolset to overcome the cognitive dissonance.

26

The bOrg Cult Tactics

by pale.emperor in

i'm wondering if the borg actually studied mind control and coercion tactics deliberately or wether they just evolved over time through trial and error.

from reading steve hassans books, studying hypnosis and methods psychopaths use it all seems very complex.

like it would never occur to me to do a, b and c in the right order at the right time in order to get control of someone or control their lives.. for example, repetition of words (the word "loyalty" was a big one in the last convention), using loaded language, encouraging people not to trust their own thoughts, restricting their information, demonising those who leave etc.

dubstepped

I think Scratchme nailed it. They don't sit down one day and decide to go full cult. I think that what starts as good motives starts leaning toward control, and as that intensifies over the years as the leaders take more power and subordinates willingly give it up there's just a natural progression that results in common characteristics seen across multiple groups. Those in charge start controlling more with the reasoning that it's for the good of the people. It's a progression, borne of control with good intent, that simply gets out of control and more extreme over time.

33

RIP dad, who introduced me to this fairytail of everlastin life and paradise :(

by Frezia in

jw
friends

less than 5 hours ago my great dad fell asleep the last time :( still in a bit of a shock and sad that i will not see him again...i promised myself that once he is here no more, i will somehow make my move out of this organisation who kept us all captive believing in a fantasy of an everlasting life :( i am in a tricky situation, since raised as jw, still in, married to an active jw, and pretty sure that all in my social and family circle will turn their backs on me if i finally say goodbye to a fairytail ;(.

dubstepped

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in April, though honestly I lost him in September of 2015 when I disassociated. Yet another thing that happened in this system of things that wasn't supposed to. Congrats on waking up from the fairytale. I'm also sorry you had to.

3

Perfectionism

by lriddle80 in

do any of you suffer from perfectionism?

i do and it may be the message that jw's put out there.

growing up in that religion, it's all about doing more, field service, meeting attendance, study, conventions, etc.

dubstepped

Oh yeah, I'm a recovering perfectionist and just like an alcoholic I'll always be in recovery. It's too easy to slip back into old patterns. Black and white thinking is a cognitive distortion that is a hallmark of perfectionism, and not much is more black and white than JWs.

I highly recommend the book "Happier" by Tal-Ben Shahar. That book really saved me from a lot of my perfectionism and helped me change my perception. I read a few others on the subject, but that one always stood out to me.

You, as you are right now, are enough. JWs teach you that you're never enough. I personally think that the whole concept of God and the Bible was created to control humans, something that perfectionism is all about (control), and since shedding perfectionism I've also shed the JW cult and the need for the Bible/God too.

30

I need to know more on why its a problem for me dating a JW girl.

by seekinghelpp in

ok not to throw no shade or no disrespect to the jw religion.

which i truly do respect because my girlfriend is part of but i just don't understand, i have researched so much about it.

so much about how its discouraged for her to be with me just cause of different religion.

dubstepped

Dude, even if she picks you the cult has influenced everything about her. The way she sees life, other people, opportunities, sex, love, everything has a cult influence. Run. Many have been out for years of their own volition and still struggle with remnants of cult brainwashing. Sorry man, but if you keep trying here I predict lots of confusion and heartache. If nothing else, so long as she has family in the cult, there will be drama.

27

My Brother Called Me Yesterday...

by pale.emperor in

my brother isn't a witness but he was raised one like we all were.

after 15 years living his own life he decided about a year ago to have a bible study.

this being the case, as a non baptized witness he can still speak to me but he's getting a lot of pressure not to from elders and the rest of my family.

dubstepped

The FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) is just dripping from his responses. Very sad.

19

How successful are others at getting ex-dubs together?

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

for my first shunniversary i reached out to the local ex-dubs that i know.

i invited 11 total to join me in a little get together at a local restaurant, then back to my house to hang out.

one friend asked if he could invite others, and i encouraged him, and all, to do so.

dubstepped

I'd love to hit up Tahoe someday. At present, I've never been on a plane and that's quite a drive from Indiana, lol. I'm getting on my first plane in November though to see the one friend my wife has from her childhood that is out. She lives in Austin. So I'm making progress on that front. Who knows what next year will bring. Sounds fun.

19

How successful are others at getting ex-dubs together?

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

for my first shunniversary i reached out to the local ex-dubs that i know.

i invited 11 total to join me in a little get together at a local restaurant, then back to my house to hang out.

one friend asked if he could invite others, and i encouraged him, and all, to do so.

dubstepped

Thanks for the replies. To clarify a few things, these were all people that I knew (except for 2) back in the day. They are people that I am friends with on Facebook and know I have things in common with. So I don't think it's a lack of things in common or fear of meeting new people. Also, none are married to believers. All of them are out. I do think though that maybe the whole JW thing is an ugly chapter they'd rather leave behind, though I know some post of tge ex-JW Facebook group.

Maybe I'll just try getting together sometime with them for a non-JW related cause altogether. Or maybe I'll just hang out with my new friends. I don't know. The whole dub thing damages so much of us as individuals and groups.