@David_Jay - I appreciate your take, but not all abuse results in bruising, sore genitals, etc. You are taking your situation and making it the bar for abuse. Abuse also occurs in strictly emotional terms, and honestly it frightens me for those that you work with that you have such a narrow view of abuse. In fact, trying to tell people that feel abused that they aren't simply because it wasn't as bad as you had it is itself abusive. Invalidation of others fits right in line with emotionally abusive behavior.
Let me also add that I'm sorry for what you went through. It sounds like a person's worst nightmare. However, again that doesn't make it the measure of the spectrum of abuse.