DOC - IMO, your opinion stinks (*like assholes) -- or rather, the pejorative way you refer of those who choose not to DA or who don't share your thoughts about DA -- stinks.Oh, you mean like the way people here portray those that disassociate as weak and giving into the the Borg? I normally just encourage people in situations like this to do what they want and tell them to ignore the haters, but this time I decided to come back with the contempt shown for those that do disassociate or want to. It stings, no? That's how I felt when I wanted to disassociate, and decision I made, and I struggled to get any support from my ex-dub friends. It sucks to want to do what you want to do and have everyone tell you not to when all you're doing is looking for support. The OP didn't ask for opinions on her decision, just how to write the letter.
I did refer to DA as "playing by their game" because it is outlined in the JW Elders' Book of Rules.
Why does that matter? It is a way out permanently. It effectively ends the game. It isn't something they want. They want to continue to "encourage" you. Families will want to keep doing the same. Jehovah's Witnesses can't stand it when they have to stop being able to put in their not so subtle jabs and can't talk to you anymore. Talking to others, "witnessing" is the name of their game. DA'ing puts a bullet in it and there is no more game playing. Why do you give them so much power as to worry about them using the word disassociation? Take that word and make it work for you, if you want. If you don't, that's fine too, but I certainly wouldn't want to give them so much power that they keep me from being able to end the game completely just because they took ownership of a word.
And, as many here know and/or have had it happen personally, when the Eldubs come calling on you (esp if they suspect apostasy) you will most definitely be asked if you still believe "the GB/F&DS are God's representatives today"? Because if you deny the GB, you have DA yourself from the bOrg.
So you prove my point. By not disassociating and ending contact, you're subject to them calling on you, whenever they so choose, therefore you're still playing their game.
There are those here who have posted that they later regretted their decision to DA.
A fair point, just as there are people that have regretted their decision to fade. Again there is fear that prevents people from taking such a permanent stand. If that's not for you, great. If a person is brave enough to do it, celebrate with them instead of discouraging them. They've probably been through hell just to make that decision and don't need you adding to it.
Like I said, I don't go on threads where people want to fade and tell them to disassociate or else they will have to continue playing the JW game. I don't get why people feel it is their place to interject on threads where people want to disassociate and to try to shame them into not doing so because they're playing their game, which comes off just as pejorative. THAT is why I said what I said. I'm sick of the way people are treated for wanting to disassociate, as if they're somehow doing it wrong by finally making probably one of the first and most important decisions for themselves apart from the cult. I've seen the looks from ex-dubs that have found out that we disassociated at times, like we're weak for taking that step or must have been sad and pathetic and needed it. Fuck that. We should celebrate people that get out no matter how they do it. I said what I said here to illustrate the way people like you and others make people feel that disassociate. Instead we should be cheerleaders for others.
So, from now on when I see the tired and played out "don't play by their rules" I'm going to post the above because it takes balls to disassociate and if people are going to characterize one that decides to disassociate a certain way we might as well do the same for those that choose not to, right. Or we could just be supportive of what another chooses to do on the way out. Nah, let's decide why it must be that people disassociate and point them out as doing something weak and try to discourage them from doing it.