Posts by dubstepped

34

Really struggling to go on

by Isambard Crater in

jw
friends

so, so much has happened in my life over the years and continues to happen, but i won't go into the details as it would take a long time.. i don't really know why, but i returned to "the truth" 15 years ago.

in 2012 when the tv broadcasting station launched, i started to develop doubts.

the australian royal commission and other scandals made me angrier, and i now don't believe most of the core teachings.. the only reason i show up at 5 or 6 meetings each month is to keep in contact with my parents and a few other family members.. but it's killing me, literally.

dubstepped

The best way to stop the JW guilt thoughts is to get away from the cult. Meetings pump your head full of those thoughts and feelings.

You can make it all go away today. Well, not all, but a lot of it. Stop going. Accept your fate. Realize that your parents are toxic cult victims and let them go. If they are the only reason you're in, then maybe you need to come to terms with the fact that their love is conditional.

You can't have everything. Trying to is ultimately leaving you with nothing. You know you have to leave the cult. When are you going to do it for yourself? Only you can answer that. The sooner you do, at least by fading, the sooner you regain sanity. You can't find a way to live an unhealthy life and be healthy though.

34

Really struggling to go on

by Isambard Crater in

jw
friends

so, so much has happened in my life over the years and continues to happen, but i won't go into the details as it would take a long time.. i don't really know why, but i returned to "the truth" 15 years ago.

in 2012 when the tv broadcasting station launched, i started to develop doubts.

the australian royal commission and other scandals made me angrier, and i now don't believe most of the core teachings.. the only reason i show up at 5 or 6 meetings each month is to keep in contact with my parents and a few other family members.. but it's killing me, literally.

dubstepped

Listen to my podcast ThisJWLife and maybe you'll feel less alone. Reach out to others here like you're doing. Start making friends outside the cult. Maybe find a therapist in person or online to talk to. And do all of this as preparation to leave the cult for good.

Let it go. You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run. Yes, I just mashed up two songs, but the point stands.

Your options are, as you presented, to leave this earth or leave the cult. Leave the damn cult and go live life. The choice is obvious. Start preparing and let go of the things you're holding onto so strongly that they're taking you down with them. You will feel so free if you do.

(((hugs)))

11

The Last Episode Of This JW Life Is Out Now

by dubstepped in

the last episode of my story on thisjwlife is out now.

after leaving the cult of jehovah’s witnesses we learned even more eye-opening things about it.

then we applied the same scrutiny to the book that everything we ever believed was based on.

dubstepped

Thanks StoneWall, I'll give her that hug today.

The similarities in our lives, even small things that in the grand scheme are insignificant, become so much more meaningful in the larger narrative that we all share. Thanks for sharing some of yours with me.

11

The Last Episode Of This JW Life Is Out Now

by dubstepped in

the last episode of my story on thisjwlife is out now.

after leaving the cult of jehovah’s witnesses we learned even more eye-opening things about it.

then we applied the same scrutiny to the book that everything we ever believed was based on.

dubstepped

Actually Old Navy, while there is some anger and resentment, or you could say pain and sadness, it isn't like that runs my life. When dealing with talking about culty things, of course it will be influenced by the cult. It isn't like I sit around 24/7 talking about it. This is a podcast about it. I'm not sure how you can speak to how free I am currently but I have had people like yourself try to tell me where I am and honestly it comes off as projection of one's own feelings onto me.

Thanks for the words, I guess, but my whole life people have tried to tell me how I feel and missing the mark and it's a sore spot for me. More often than not it's another person foisting their feelings onto me. I certainly didn't discuss all of my feelings on everything during the show.

Love helps me understand why people did some of the things they did. Love doesn't erase the fact that those people acted that way. If love means an absence of negative emotions, methinks that's not real love but denial. I can hold love, forgive someone, and yet acknowledge the negative impact of a person or group in my life when specifically discussing them. Feelings are complex and we experience them our own way.

Your characterization doesn't ring true on this end, but I'll take it with what I'm sure was good intent.

11

The Last Episode Of This JW Life Is Out Now

by dubstepped in

the last episode of my story on thisjwlife is out now.

after leaving the cult of jehovah’s witnesses we learned even more eye-opening things about it.

then we applied the same scrutiny to the book that everything we ever believed was based on.

dubstepped

Welcome cellomould, or welcome back! I too love podcasts and they helped me wake up, so I made my own. Now that my story is out completely, you can binge, which I like to do.

I'm so sorry that sexual abuse has to be so close to you. It was around me too but somehow I was spared, as you'll hear in my story.

I hope you find something that helps you on your journey.

11

The Last Episode Of This JW Life Is Out Now

by dubstepped in

the last episode of my story on thisjwlife is out now.

after leaving the cult of jehovah’s witnesses we learned even more eye-opening things about it.

then we applied the same scrutiny to the book that everything we ever believed was based on.

dubstepped

The last episode of my story on ThisJWLife is out now. After leaving the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses we learned even more eye-opening things about it. Then we applied the same scrutiny to the book that everything we ever believed was based on. Where did we end up? How is our life now? How will I end this last episode of my story? Listen to find out.

Subscribe on iTunes (or Apple Podcast) or Google Play or your podcast player of choice, mine is Podcast Republic to get these automatically.

Although this is the last episode of my personal story, I will be releasing an episode after this about a new project I am working on to help other people tell their stories. If you want to share your story, obviously in one episode I'm not going as long form through everyone's life like mine, let me know. Seriously. No really. I need stories to keep this up, and people don't want this to end. A few people reached out to me before I got my story wrapped up that I think want to tell theirs, but the more the merrier. More will be revealed on that 10th episode when it is released, which will be a few weeks at the earliest as I'm celebrating my 40th birthday with a trip next week and then will be working on it.

http://thisjwlife.com/episode-9-lets-send-this-thing-out-right-where-we-ended-up/

9

Episode 8 - Get Out Of Her, My People - It All Came Tumbling Down - Is Now Out

by dubstepped in

episode 8 - get out of her, my people - it all came tumbling down, is now out.

this is a long one and the next to last in my story.

there comes a point in life when you know too much to ever go back to the person you once were, or to the cult that you once called home.

dubstepped

Hi Phoebe,

I was at the Midwest Apostafest yesterday for the first time so I'm just seeing this.

I just can't imagine the way they can be when children are involved like that. It's so inhuman. I am glad you got to feel that relief though. That tends to happen when you leave cult life for the real life.

Feel free to friend us on Facebook if you want. We've made a lot of new friends through this process. Of course, and I can't remember your situation, but friendship with me could mess up a fade.

I'll be recording my last episode tomorrow. It is written and ready to go. I'll be sad to see this go but I'll keep promoting it for new people that need to hear it.

9

Episode 8 - Get Out Of Her, My People - It All Came Tumbling Down - Is Now Out

by dubstepped in

episode 8 - get out of her, my people - it all came tumbling down, is now out.

this is a long one and the next to last in my story.

there comes a point in life when you know too much to ever go back to the person you once were, or to the cult that you once called home.

dubstepped

@NY44M - Ah, that was before my time. I was born in 77 and my parents became dubs when I was 8-9ish. Good old Freedom Hall was a great place for a convention though. I hated when we had to move to Evansville Indiana from there. I never liked traveling to the conventions much. I love hotels and staying in them, but I hated ever going to breakfast because the brothers and sisters were ridiculous in the way they behaved and it just made me feel bad. I would go out and buy breakfast just to not have to be around them. Don't have to do that anymore!

15

boyfriends jehovah witness mom

by whatisthis12 in

my boyfriend is an ex new jehovah witness and today i got a message from one of his friends asking if i could delete a comment he wrote on one of my pictures because my boyfriends mom is harassing him about it.

he also basically told me that she has people who added me just to view my profile and let her know!!!!

she also sends him messages and pictures from the watchtower.

dubstepped

Two things here, no three.

1. Crazy is going to crazy. Set boundaries and put them in their place.

2. Lock down your profile if you can to make it private and just between friends, or if you want to keep it public know that you're in for a fight.

3. The whole "love on the dl" thing. I don't know who you're talking to or who is talking there exactly, but in the end you and him have to be willing to be public with everything and run her off if need be. Actually, it is his mom, and he needs to put and end to it himself. He needs to stand up to her and enforce consequences for her actions. At some point in all of this he has to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep crazy away, and if he's not or he ends up trying to hide his relationship with you or something to pacify mommy, dude's got mommy issues and needs to grow up before he's ready for a relationship.

49

Rookie exJW Question

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i was wondering if someone could help me with a question.. i am a rookie exjw, i only left the organization 4 months ago and everything i've discovered (un/arc/malawi/mexico etc) i've only discovered in the last few months so you can image it's been a huge shock to me especially after after 50 yrs!.

every time i think i've heard everything, something else pops up.. now i've come across a youtube video that mention tv evangelizer jimmy swaggart and the watchtower.

i remember jimmy swaggart from the time i lived in the u.s.a and i remember the scandals with him and prostitutes etc.

dubstepped

Where did I address you specifically in my post? You aren't that former poster so why do you care if I referenced him. I never said that you pushed it off subject, so why so defensive? I merely brought the topic back around to the realities if the situation rather than speculation over things that didn't occur. Why does that bother you?