Yes Incognigo (sorry Incognito for spell check converting the name earlier but you were wise enough to make it out), things are different for people dependent on family. That doesn't mean that they don't even out on some level though. First, you're trying to measure love, which is a tough thing to do, particularly objectively as you stated. Second, often those that had dysfunctional families, just have a different set of problems. Trying to measure it is silly. The therapy industry is built on people who had dysfunctional families, so it isn't something that is just easy to pack away and move on from. In my opinion you're greatly oversimplifying things and calling it objective. I don't see it the same as you. To me one isn't necessarily easier or harder, just different.
You're also basing an argument on a premise that somehow those that disassociate have dysfunctional families as if those that fade don't. I don't necessarily see that. Faders often have super messed up families too. Like I said earlier, there were dysfunctional families everywhere. Faders are often trying to get that love that they never got, still trying and hoping that someday it will turn around. Many faders put up with absolutely awful and toxic behavior.
It's like the assertion that I argue about that those that disassociate are playing the JW game, as if those that fade aren't. Everyone plays to some degree. Disassociating ends the game for you. Fading continues it. One is free to choose whatever one likes and again I'll support them either way, as it appears you will as well. That's rare, it usually only goes one way with support only for fading and false labeling and characterization of those that disassociate.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
-
77
Advice on Disassociating
by HiddenPimo inhello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.
i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?
i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.
-
-
dubstepped
-
77
Advice on Disassociating
by HiddenPimo inhello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.
i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?
i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.
-
-
dubstepped
@Incognito - LOL, so it was easy for me to disassociate because my family was dysfunctional, like so many weren't in the cult. Come on man. If you listened to my story you know how hard it was but I needed to do it, and you probably don't know all the reasons why so let's not act like you know.
Time and time again I've supported a person disassociating on here. I also support fading. You don't get the same going both ways. Maybe you're the odd one, but every thread about disassociating devolves into this brought on by faders that can't respect the decisions of others. Don't judge my stance by one set of posts in one discussion. I'm often the lone supporter of anyone coming here wishing to disassociate.
I'm not butthurt, I'm actually on topic from the OP. I do know what it's like though to seek support only to run up against this. I did this very thing when I sought to disassociate and it would have been nice to have support. Instead I just got the same trolling, and I'm glad I didn't listen.
I have been far more supportive than most. You're lecturing the wrong person. In fact, I'm supporting the OP, something most aren't. Props to you if you can see past your own emotions to do the same.
Disassociation is a tough enough decision without everyone discouraging you from doing it when you've chosen that as your path.
-
77
Advice on Disassociating
by HiddenPimo inhello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.
i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?
i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.
-
-
dubstepped
@HiddenPIMO - you can't get support to disassociate from those too scared to do so. Yes disassociating is a JW term, so what? I'd rather do one thing and be done than play games for years. Like was said earlier, go read the posts of those that fade and the games they have to play. Look at the people that fade and end up shunned anyway. It's all calculated risk and should be up to individuals but you'll never find support for disassociation among faders. Other than maybe being a believer there is nothing on here that will cause more butthurt than mentioning the dreaded d word. I don't know if it's projection or insecurity or what but faders struggle to support those that make a choice they couldn't or wouldn't. I have no problem supporting faders. But mention the d word and every fader jumps in to tell you you're somehow bad for doing something they couldn't do. -
77
Advice on Disassociating
by HiddenPimo inhello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.
i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?
i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.
-
-
dubstepped
So first you take a shot at disassociation with the standard weak argument:
If you DA, you just playing by their rules......
And then you go on to say:
I do not give up my point of view....
It is a good reminder to them, that not everyone who leaves is dangerous....
Every time I spend time with a group of JWs, it re-enforces exactly why I left....
It feels good to me that I am successfully hanging out in the grey area....
BrightonTell me again, who is playing by their rules?
-
20
Christian or Atheists?
by Skipper254 inin my brief time on this site, i've come to realize that most people who have been shunned or stray away from the jehovah witnesses normally end up having no faith at all.
my curiosity has led me to the conclusion that the gb has created more atheists than believers...... .
-
-
dubstepped
There was a poll done on Twitter and the majority of those in that poll were atheist/agnostic as well.
I agree with what nicholau said. Those bastards don't get credit for my atheism. That was my struggle to research all types of belief and the bible and to look for evidence. That was all me. I had to break down the JW beliefs and it was painful and difficult and then I started looking at the book so much is based on and it too fell apart. I didn't want that but I did want a more evidence based life even if it hurt to let go of some magical thinking. That was all me. Nobody else sat there with me through that, not even my wife. She had to run her own race too. We ended at the same finish line but ran separately.
I guess, like nicholau, I received some help on here but my research consisted of many things. I fought against the possibility of atheism until I could no longer ignore it.
-
6
Wierd New JW.Org outreach centre?
by Diogenesister inwell, watchtower just gets weirder.
is this their new branding?
it’s bethel malaysia ( which moved to a shopping mall anyway).
-
-
dubstepped
Wow, if real, and it appears so, that's strange. Cadellin may have a point though the JW.borg altar is still front and center.
-
77
Advice on Disassociating
by HiddenPimo inhello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.
i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?
i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.
-
-
dubstepped
So much dub centric thinking in here. When I was a dub I thought as a dub, spoke as a dub, but you, you are not of these dubs, fly and be free and let the dubs deal with the consequences of their own dub actions.
-
77
Advice on Disassociating
by HiddenPimo inhello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.
i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?
i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.
-
-
dubstepped
Disassociating is great, instant freedom. Go for it! Best decision my wife and I ever made. Don't listen to those that have to play JW games for years simply to keep toxic relationships, unless of course that's what you want.
As far as what to write, write whatever you want just don't have expectations. Just do the damn thing, get it over with, and be totally free. It's tough to put into words what it's like in the other side. Yeah, shunning isn't great, but it's not all bad either to be honest. It keeps the crazies away.
By the way, the line that you're just creating problems for your family and friends by disassociating is the same bullshit the cult says. They have problems because of their actions, not yours. Even if you disassociate the problem is of their doing, their choice, not yours. They shun you. Let's stop acting like no one has choice. And you know what, when people have problems is often when they wake up. Keeping them saved to avoid taking a stand might be what keeps them in.
The cult doesn't want you disassociating. If everyone did they'd have a huge problem.
-
14
Need tips to make Youtube video -- software, hardware?
by FatFreek 2005 ini'm thinking of making a video.
i see there is an explosion of them recently by ex-jws which i believe is a good thing.. if you've done it, what easy-to-learn and use app did you use?
how much did it cost?
-
-
dubstepped
Yeah, here it is. You just basically asked this three months ago. There's more detail there.
https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5178563864035328/want-create-few-youtube-videos-need-advice
-
14
Need tips to make Youtube video -- software, hardware?
by FatFreek 2005 ini'm thinking of making a video.
i see there is an explosion of them recently by ex-jws which i believe is a good thing.. if you've done it, what easy-to-learn and use app did you use?
how much did it cost?
-
-
dubstepped
You can use your phone, laptop webcam, etc. You don't need a fancy setup.
I use a camera like this (can't remember the exact model offhand) :
I don't use the auto focus because it keeps trying to focus and gets annoying. I just turn that off so I can gesture or move without it out-thinking itself.
I don't use the built in mic. I use a Samson Go Mic.
Both are plugged into my laptop.
The camera has its own recording software. It's dead simple to use. For editing, if I wish to which I almost never do, I use Camtasia. I think it can be pricey but I got it in a special charity sale bundled with other things at a ridiculously cheap price.
I don't care to research every detail for you as I feel like I've literally answered this same question on here, possibly even for you, but figure 70 for camera plus 50 for that mic to start. There's so many ways to do this. You don't likely have to spend much. Some people have super nice studios. It's not necessary unless you're trying to monetize and be super professional.