Refiners Fire, Yes you are right, that is what I was trying to convey in my above post. Kismet was victimized, and although I am not up on that particular situation, I only really was aware of Prisca's story, but, the same should hold true. A perpetrator is a perpetrator, and the victim is a victim no matter what. The victim should not be told to get over it, and that this can be a safe place, whether it be Pricsa, Kismet, or even me for that matter, without people re-enacting old Watchtower attitude of "put it behind you and get over it". There is alway a time when a victim is able to resolve what has happened and able to talk about it less. But that is individual for each victim. We who have not walked in Prisca's or Kismet's shoes can not and should not blame and shame, and publicly correct them for speaking out. Perpetration is pepetration, no matter what form it takes, and the perpetrator needs enablers to re-victimize. This forum rather than blaming and shaming Prisca or Kismet or anyone else for the unfortunate thing that was done to them because they simply trusted, should in fact talk about blaming the perps and not telling the ones wronged to stop speaking about it or blaming and shaming them. We have all had enough of that from the Watchtower Society. I simply mean that this is a good place to be able to speak about wrongs, and also speak about opinions. Every individual who has posted her on this subject has all been free to post thier opinion even though we all may differ in what we feel. That is what I meant abut this board being a good place to do this. My opinion was stated and that was what this particular thread was entitled. And again, I am not familiar with the Kismet story. Frankly I only learned of Prisca's story last night when, or rather early in the A M when I was unable to sleep I came down on the computer and saw this thread. But yes I agree with you Ref.
ARoarer
JoinedPosts by ARoarer
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44
Your Opinions Please!!!!
by Ranchette inthe following is a post i made to prisca on another thread.
i am courious about how many agree with what i say here or am i wrong?.
re: rick and his thugs jan 20, 2002 13:15 .
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Your Opinions Please!!!!
by Ranchette inthe following is a post i made to prisca on another thread.
i am courious about how many agree with what i say here or am i wrong?.
re: rick and his thugs jan 20, 2002 13:15 .
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ARoarer
Hi Prisca,Ranchette, and everyone, I just came across this discussion, and started reading some of the posts,even though I agree with alot of what many are saying about letting this issue end, I do tend to agree with Yrs2long regarding telling a victim of a perpetration to shut up and get over it. When we are wronged by whom we trust, we want to scream for justice, because we believe that there has to be goodness and that it will come. We also want the perpetrator to own up to the wrong, especially when they were trusted. For a victim to be blamed and corrected for what happened is equal to saying to a rape victim that "you should have known better than to......, the victim feels horrible and enough without having to be told you are to blame, stop looking for attention. Whew, that is all to familiar. Victims never look for attention. They look for validation, and to be heard, no matter what the crime. Whether it be sex abuse, or any other form of mistreatment by trusted ones. It is just only natural for Prisca to feel the way she does. We all keep harping on the injustices of the Watchtower here on this DB, and many very well have commented on this fact and say to get over it already, get a life etc. Perpetration is perpetration and injustice is injustice, and those who want to speak out about it, have a perfect place to do it. This board should be a place to discuss feelings and issues, and, we all know that none of us are always going to have the same opinions. But that is the great thing about this board. Sometimes though, it seems to become like our old ties to the Watchtower, in that we can, and do become guilty of re-enacting old judgmental JW behavior towards oneanother[;]
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I studied the The Paradise Book...
by teejay in"... soul-chilling terror will spread through the masses... .
a flesh-eating plague will destroy many... eaten up will be .
the tongues of those who scoffed and laughed at the warning .
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ARoarer
Hi Teejay, I remember when my children used to ask if thier friends were going to be destroyed, or if Armegeddon was going to come and destroy babies, or animals, I never was able to say yes, because I never could believe in my heart a loving God would do those things. I would aways answer that "the Bible doesn't say that, it says the "blameless" and meek would inherit the earth, and that means an awful lot of people". I was not big on the destruction stuff. I used to tell them the Bible says mankind has "Good News" for mankind, and if God was really going to do those things it would not be good news. I guess that is why I blocked out the images in the publications about horrific Armeggedon pictures because I just was not able to relay that aspect of it to the kids.
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I studied the The Paradise Book...
by teejay in"... soul-chilling terror will spread through the masses... .
a flesh-eating plague will destroy many... eaten up will be .
the tongues of those who scoffed and laughed at the warning .
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ARoarer
Teejay and Ranchette, that is so disturbingfor little children. Seeing the pictures of the little girl with the doll, and the little doggie makes me so aware that those men up in thier tower of darkness have no concern whatsoever for children, let alone any other thing that represents, innocence. No wonder they care little of sexual abuse issues, womens issues, batterwives, or suicidal youths. They are heartless and very cruel. I have been seeing a therapist since I started staying away from the Kingdom Hall, actually had cut out all the horrific pictures from the books and brochures, and we talked about how awfully scarey those pictures were, and my guilt for allowing those pictures to be part of my own childrens indoctrination, and he said to me that those pictures seemed more Satanic, and fearful, than a Holiday like Halloween with a little girl ballerina coming to the door trick or treating. The logic was so clear. That week I gave out so much candy to little trick or treaters and had so much fun doing it!!!!!!
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WHO SHUNS YOU IN YOUR JEHOVAH WITNESS FAMILY?
by BERNARD inmost people are under the impression that the watchtower.
don't break up families, well people lets give them a. few examples.
since i left the jehovah witnesses my mother .
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ARoarer
It sounds like there is just so much love they have
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WHO SHUNS YOU IN YOUR JEHOVAH WITNESS FAMILY?
by BERNARD inmost people are under the impression that the watchtower.
don't break up families, well people lets give them a. few examples.
since i left the jehovah witnesses my mother .
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ARoarer
I left the KH and teachings that truly hurt my heart to continue in. One needs to follow their conscience, and gut feelings. When I did this, at the time I thought ALL those friends of many years would be my friends because they cared about me, and my family. In reality, I learned I was always the better friend to them, than they ever were to me. For my friendship was alway loyal to them, not the cult they cling to. It still hurts. But they're friendship,is not worth the price of selling my soul to the Watchtower Publishing entity. It is interesting, because when I first stopped attending meetings, it was due to the devestation of what happened with our family that is being covered on Dateline. The sheer pain of abandonment and betrayal of trusted friends, and spiritual leaders, ripped our hearts. But God always lays a way to grow from the pain, and the experience taught me to look at and research the teachings we lived by, and it was truly like waking up from a long sleep. I and my family learned what "truth" is and is not. We are doing fine now without those "friends". Yet if anyone of them every needed me or any one of our family, knowing us, we would always be there for them no matter what. AND THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US AND THEM.
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Where is Dateline
by gambler inis this show ever going to air or was is a big farce to get our hopes up.
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ARoarer
Ranchette is correct, gambler. With the distraction of Sept 11, and aftermath, the Holiday Season, and Olympics, people would not be watching the show, which has been investigated and filmed during the last year. It was only about 2 weeks ago that the producer called us with some more questions regarding the piece they are planning for airing soon, and he said basicly what Ranchette has stated. I am sure it is no secret by now that our own family experience will be touched on, and the fact that they were here at our home last July, filming for 10 hours. And that was just our case. All of the other film footage of other families is being edited and prepared for this show. Dateline has spent too much time and money in this investigation to just toss it aside. It is for this very reason that they are allowing things like Sept 11, the Holiday Season, Olympics etc to pass so that they will have the best air time being watched without distraction. I am sure the WTS is not happy, and I am also sure that the WTS has already directed elders familiar with this case to keep congregation members from dealing with our family even though we have not been formerly df'd or da'd.
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I Went in Field Service Yesterday!!
by Valentine ini must say i thoroughly enjoyed doing streetwork for the first time in my life!!.
it was really cold here in chicago yesterday,snow clouds looming in the sky.
about 10 am i decided to run home for my cofee break.. as i rushed down the main street,walking quickly,i saw 2 groups of jw's w/ their mags on the main street near home.. i haven't seen any around my territory since last spring.. humph i thought.. i double-timed it home,bundled up,grabbed my stacks of silentlambs posters and ran back to the main street.. i stood on the corner,several feet ahead of them and started saying hi to passers by.
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ARoarer
Tina, You did what I have been wanting to do for so long. I wish you were in my area, then we could go in "two's". I think it is significant that the ones who took your posters did not respond at all to the JW's. Kewl!!!!!
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Regarding MAD APOSTATE
by silentlambs ini wish to make a comment on something that disturbs me deeply to the point i cannot let it pass or be ignored.
a little over a year ago i resigned as an elder to protest wt policy and how it hurt children.
the impetus that brought me to that conclusion was a child i knew personally that was in danger.
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ARoarer
Mad, Silentlambs,Sam Beli,and all,
This is sounding uncomfortably familiar to me. In speaking in behalf of victims of abuse from personal experience, it seems that reading all of the bickering amongst you over the issue,reminds me of being back at the Kingdom Hall listening to the different opinions being argued amongst themselves, over who was right and who was wrong, and who was in more support of the victims and who wasn't, how brother elder so and so was not as understanding as brother elder so and so from the blah blah congregation... and sister so and so elderette was speaking in behalf of brother so and so, and the other sister so and so is just a dumb sister anyway because she is in disagreement with the rest of brothers so and so and blah blah blah blah, on and on and on and suddenly the victim's wondering shit! what the fuck did I bother coming forward for. It really isn't about me, it is all about them and THEIR POSTITIONS AND GROUP CLOUT AMOUNGST THEMSELVES. Why don't you all just get over yourselves and stop re-enacting Watchtowerland. You should hear yourselves from the victim point of view. Forget your elder day personality commitee meeting clashes and start acting like you are in the real world not arguing in the back of a Kingdom Hall over "who is greater" or for that matter "who's husband is greater". Victims are tough. They have to be. They survived it. So lets call them survivors and get over yourselves. GEEESH!!! You all sound like a knit picking bunch of former pharisees. A buch of bull headed bull clashing horns at each other as if to say "I have the biggest horns". It's Friday nite. Enjoy it guys.
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Send a gift, or no?
by ashitaka inan old friend is getting married this year.
best friend, actually.
but at one time, we talked about each other being the other's best man at our weddings.
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ARoarer
Ashi, this all sounds so familiar. Witnesses who are intentionally not associating with you anymore because you are not attending the KH will not be moved by any kindness or sincerity you may show towards them. No matter how much you valued your friendship with them, the feeling will not be mutual. If you feel they "don't approve" of you and your choice to withdraw from meetings they just don't separate that from thier relationship with you. In my own situation, I had lifelong friends who I never ever would have imagined would turn against me and my family. I thought they cared about me as a person and would still view our freindship simply as that. But they would not. Send your friend a card first, and if they don't return your gesture, consider them really not a tru friend. Jehovah's Witnesses brand of freindship is based on their group's acceptance or rejection of a person. My hubby and I experienced this even at our own daughter's beautiful wedding we gave her. She married an elder's son and so all that attended on their side would not have anything to do with us. It was as if we were df'd. Our own friends came and were cordial, but from the day they got married we have heard from not one. Not even my closest girlfriend who's daughters grew up with my children and were in the wedding party. As part of the wedding package, my husband and I had arranged for the grooms parents to stay in a suite at the hotel the kids were married in. They stayed, and the next day left without even thanking us or saying goodbye, never once a phone call after that. I can't even imagine how anyone could act the way these Witnesses did at our childrens wedding. It was a beautiful and elegant and they all ate and drank but not one ever said thankyou or called us after that. Ashi, don''t set yourself up to be hurt by your friends rejection of you, if you feel you will be affected by it.