Posts by exjdub

51

Be afraid... be very afraid...

by LittleToe in

jw
friends

i really must be on here too much - 4000 posts and counting.. supreme one seemed so far away, not that long ago.. now it's a mere 1000 posts away - a drop in a bucket, six months at most, surely.... it seems so long ago, that i protested giving up my light-saber in preference of the fullness of "the force" imbued by the "emperor class".. and now another impending transformation.... to which i say.... .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!.

.. (monty python quote of the day - but which movie?

exjdub

Congratulations LittleToe!

I asked Bingo if he thought I would make it to your level at some point:

27

Gave up studying with them!!

by natalienu in

i recently gave up studying with the witnesses after they told me off for going sailing with my family!

what a crock!

i said it was the easter long weekend and i needed to get away for a few days on the boat.

exjdub

Wait a second neyank...

You mean...I was in a CULT for 36 years??????????? Just because I was involved with a group that required loyalty to a group of men claiming to have God's Spirit, attended "meetings" and/or some type of worship/service 6-7 days a week, all the while having the same phrases repeated over and over again like: "We are in a spiritual paradise." "Must show loyalty to GB." "Must obey elders." "We have love amongst ourselves."...doesn't mean that I was in a cult does it? OMG! I was a JW Moonie!

Natalienu: See what you are missing? You should be relieved that the programming didn't work on you. The Matrix had me thinking I was eating steak instead of gruel for years. I wish that the fog had lifted for me as quickly! Congratulations on your strength. Regards.

Exjdub

75

How Many Reveal Themselves Totally On This Board?

by minimus in

jw
friends

some feel that you should put out a history of who you are, what your life was and is like now and express it in a very simple way so that everyone can "know" you.

we've had posters say they were elders, elder's sisters, hurt jws, etc.

it could all be a little fantasy.

exjdub

I have always been of the school of thought that it is better to proceed cautiously, especially in the case of privacy, rather than reveal too much in the beginning. You can always add more as time goes on but you can never retrieve damaging information about yourself, for whatever reason, once it is out. Some may regard this as "chicken s*** but I think it is sound reasoning. That being said... I do admire those that feel comfortable enough to reveal themeselves, although I would disagree with the premise that those that do not reveal themselves have something to hide. Everyone's circumstance is different and none of us can conclude matters without full knowledge of an individual's personal circumstances. Those are my 2 cents.

42

Another JW Questions 1914 At The Meeting!!!

by minimus in

jw
friends

my mother told me that a regular pioneer in his 60's from a nearby hall questioned how we could be sure 1914 was the date christ was enthroned as king of the kingdom.

he questioned the brother conducting the meeting for field service.

it didn't go well......he left that hall and is reported missing in action!

exjdub

These postings are why I have an addiction to this forum. The mind-numbing and random cherry-picking of scripture that WTBS has used for years to explain Christ's presence left me feeling stupid and saying "what the...? (to myself of course) for years! When I read these posts and Farkel's Dubs For Dummies "Times" explanation I start to laugh. Thanks all!

Ex

23

bad.bad.bad.

by mayflower in

anyone else feel down right bad and evil for leaving the org dispite what their heart and conscience and better judgement tells them?

i've been inactive for about....oh....since october anyway and have gradually been letting friends and family know about it.

after every conversation i feel really guilty and selfish and i have to sit down and reassure myself that i'm doing the best thing for me.

exjdub

Welcome Mayflower!

Although I am very new to the discussion board, my wife and I walked away 7 years ago and we went through much of what you are going through. Because I was "raised in the Truth" I was quite accustomed to beating myself up over not doing enough. It is a JW time honored tradition. Think about how many times that you have said to yourself: "I am not doing enough." "I should be out in service more." "I didn't study the Watchtower before the meeting." "Did I read the Text today?" "Am I having my Family Study?" and so on and so on and so on... This same behaviour will continue for a time because that is the way you are taught to think and this is repeated over and over again from the platform and from the literature. I know because I felt the above feelings of inadequacy and guilt for the entire 36 years that I was in the Org.

The defensive reaction that you are getting is quite typical when you want to leave the Org. They are thinking to themeselves that it CAN'T be the Organization that has failed to keep you in the "Truth", so therefore it is something that you are failing at, and so they pile more guilt on. Soon someone will be telling you that it is Satan fooling you and that you are in his grasp. I have to also agree with the group that you probably don't want to voice that the reason you are leaving is that you have doubts. You won't convince any of them of your position because they are in defensive mode, as you mentioned, and they are panicing right now because you are leaving. When they have wrestled with you over leaving and are unable to change your mind the final thing will be to quote Peter: "Where else would I go???" When that pops out it generally is with some admission by the person that they have had doubts too, but they will not act on them because they cannot imagine leaving the Organization. Finally, most everyone on this Board has found something that works for them to help with some of the guilt and selfish feelings. What works for one, may not work for another. Read some of the past posts of people that have left the Org and see if any of the comments are helpful. Also, you mentioned your Bible trained conscience. My Bible trained conscience and reasoning ability is finally what moved me. The identifying mark is love. I was not seeing that despite the Society, in the literature, telling me repeatedly that JW's were the only ones that had "love amongst themeselves." I have seen 36 years of mental abuse, physical abuse, lying, cheating, greed, corrupt elders, corrupt CO etc. etc. and a lack of love. Never did this manifest itself so clearly as when I was a Ministerial Servant. Of course when one questions the fruitage that has been produced through the Organization, the only explanation that is given is that "men are imperfect". When something good would happen in the Org it was Jehovah's spirit, when something bad happens it is "imperfect men". Where is the responsibility? The tree has been producing rotten fruit. And, as your Bible trained conscience tells you: A fine tree cannot produce rotten fruit. Sorry all for the long post... That was 7 years of pent up stuff. I am new and should probably sit and listen to the veterans speak, but I just can't watch someone beat themeselves up for normal and healthy feelings of doubt. It is contrary to my nature. Good luck (or should I say fortune?;>) ) Mayflower, try to enjoy the journey. Freedom is very sweet. When I am in the ocean surfing on a Tuesday or Thursday evening, I still get a wonderful sensation that I am doing something I love to do and I am not trapped in a Meeting listening to repetetive material that is recycled year after year. Warmest Regards. Ex

5

Shocker

by exjdub in

when i left the org i tried to find websites that revealed some of the things that i have learned recently on this website and others that are referenced here.

however, i found that it made it worse to read or talk about anything pertaining to jw's in the beginning.

it took a few years of healing (thank god for dogs, they are the master healers) and working through very strong feelings (which was difficult given that both my wife and i still have family in the org) but i finally came out the other end stronger and more confident.. fast forward to a few days ago when i found this board.

exjdub

When I left the Org I tried to find websites that revealed some of the things that I have learned recently on this website and others that are referenced here. However, I found that it made it worse to read or talk about anything pertaining to JW's in the beginning. It took a few years of healing (thank God for dogs, they are the master healers) and working through very strong feelings (which was difficult given that both my wife and I still have family in the Org) but I finally came out the other end stronger and more confident.

Fast forward to a few days ago when I found this board. For some unknown reason I was curious and felt like doing a google search for Ex JW's. I am glad that I did because everyone has been very friendly and have welcomed me.

Now, all that being said...please forgive me for my extreme ignorance. I learned of the NGO stuff just a day ago. I know, I know, it has been going on for a few years now, but like I said, I needed to get away from things for a while. Although it shouldn't shock me, it does. Not because it happened, I saw enough crap behind closed doors when I was an MS that convinced me of lying and deceit, but because of the blatant hypocrisy that just burns my a**. I remember growing up in New Hampshire when the only thing to do in the wintertime was play basketball. And guess what the only available gym was in NH? That's right...The YM frickin' CA. I don't have to tell all of you what that meant. If I wanted to play basketball there, it meant that I was part of Christendom and could not join. Why, that was "extreme disloyalty to Jehovah." So the explanation for the NGO membership is a library card?????? Well, my friends, my reply is: Even if that is true, which I don't believe for a millisecond, it still is touching the Wild Beast and is extreme disloyalty to Jehovah! More than any other issue that the Society stood for, I think that the issue of Christendom prostituting herself with the Wild Beast and JW seperateness was probably the bedrock of the "~~Truth~~" "Lie." So the shocker isn't the hypocrisy so much, because that exists on so many levels with the Org, it is that the NGO is such a stupid issue to get hung for. I mean, is that not the stupidest thing to get hung for? Funny how things get revealed.

I went on the UN site and printed off the letter referencing the matter with the Society and called my mom, who has been inactive for about 5 years, but still had feelings that perhaps the GB were still the Faithful And Discreet Slave and that she had been taught the truth. Well, I think I put a major dent in that feeling. I did feel bad because my mom has had the feeling that she wasted many years of her life (since the 1950's) and it was hard for her to accept that the Society's hypocrisy was played out on such a huge and obvious issue. She has seen a lot of issues on a local level over the years with bad elders, wolves, etc. etc., but never on a worldwide scale such as this issue. It shook her...

Shocker Number 2

After I left NH, imagine my surprise when we turned on Dateline and saw Paul Berry! I knew Paul, although not well, and we used to see Paul and his family in Nashua back when Holly was little. Imagine my shock when she was on the screen with her face tattoo'd. Tragic. The funny thing is that Paul was being groomed to be a Servant when he was in the Wilton Cong. His best friend was an elder who was eventually removed, along with the rest of the Body (with the exception of one elder) by a Special Committee. Just about every one of his "character" witnesses, that were elders, were removed (they no doubt are serving again) and were replaced with a temporary Body. All of his character witnesses are a joke. I know Wilton, NH well. It was, and is, a sick, sick Cong.

Well, that's my 2 cents!

51

New To The Board

by exjdub in

i just wanted to introduce myself and tell everyone that i have enjoyed many of the posts.

i wish that this resource was available 7 years ago when i walked away from the organization, it would have helped my transition a great deal.

i also wanted to say that it is enjoyable to come to a forum that is not on an angry rant about the organization on a constant basis.

exjdub

Gopher,

Thanks for the link.

Joyzabel,

All of the names that I see are in South Florida. We lived in Ft. Lauderdale (and attended the Ft. Laud. Cong.) some years ago when my kids were babies, but we are in the Central Coast now.

51

New To The Board

by exjdub in

i just wanted to introduce myself and tell everyone that i have enjoyed many of the posts.

i wish that this resource was available 7 years ago when i walked away from the organization, it would have helped my transition a great deal.

i also wanted to say that it is enjoyable to come to a forum that is not on an angry rant about the organization on a constant basis.

exjdub

Joyzabel,

Where is Lady Lee's map?

51

New To The Board

by exjdub in

i just wanted to introduce myself and tell everyone that i have enjoyed many of the posts.

i wish that this resource was available 7 years ago when i walked away from the organization, it would have helped my transition a great deal.

i also wanted to say that it is enjoyable to come to a forum that is not on an angry rant about the organization on a constant basis.

exjdub

Thanks for the welcome! I hope to post often, as time allows, and look forward to getting to know everyone.

51

New To The Board

by exjdub in

i just wanted to introduce myself and tell everyone that i have enjoyed many of the posts.

i wish that this resource was available 7 years ago when i walked away from the organization, it would have helped my transition a great deal.

i also wanted to say that it is enjoyable to come to a forum that is not on an angry rant about the organization on a constant basis.

exjdub

Hi All,

I just wanted to introduce myself and tell everyone that I have enjoyed many of the posts. I wish that this resource was available 7 years ago when I walked away from the Organization, it would have helped my transition a great deal. I also wanted to say that it is enjoyable to come to a forum that is not on an angry rant about the Organization on a constant basis. It looks like many have moved beyond the anger of being duped and are now sharing reasonable advice and support (dare I say acceptance and love?) in a healthy way. As I read, it is amazing how so many stories are alike and yet from so many different areas! I apologize for the lame screen name. I was anxious to introduce myself and just wanted to throw something in that I could use. Regards.