Posts by rathernotsay

24

JWs through the eyes of an eight year old

by maksutov in

my wife is a jw, and is teaching our eight year old daughter jw beliefs.

i am trying to teach her about evolution and critical thinking skills.

here is a conversation we had today (as best i can remember it):daughter: "why do bad things happen?

rathernotsay

Im in a similar boat, not quite the same (4&2) age but never the less am having the same kind of issue. my wife and her family are all jw. Myself and my family arent religious.

I think you are doing a great job at trying to teach your daughter. Keep it up, it sounds she like she is a bright kid.

its only my 4yo thats asking questions. I have found all I can really do at this point is get him interested in dinosaurs and space, hoping that he asks the right questions later.

its a funny postion to be in that ive found compromise in the marriage is important. I made certian rules for the kids like we dont say grace in our home, she doesnt use the phrase the truth to them, and of course if they dont want to go they dont have to. as my family celebrate xmas by getting drunk and eating excessively she has to come along and enjoy the fun with the kids etc.

I guess its a learning process. I have learnt to try not to seem as if im arguing with the kids about it. And ive learnt to try not to get annoyed when he tells my friends that jeh loves them. It sounds to me like youve got this under control. With your guidance Im sure she will see the real truth

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

Haah heck no slave4. Still aint been there since shit hit the fan. Although the thought of screwing in her elders bed made me smile haha

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

Just a little side note. .. last night we went to a wedding reception of a (non jw) friend of hers. She said before hand that she wouldnt know anyone else there but the bride and groom and I wouldnt either.

We arrived and were shown to our table were we were sat next to several jws including one of her elders. It quickly became apparent that she knew they would be there.

I felt rather ambushed as she was obviously trying to play happy couple. I didnt so much give her the cold shoulder but I didn't really reciprocate the affection. each time we got up from thr table to get a drink or say hello to the bride etc she kept saying that I should talk to said elder. The elder made a point of sitting next to me to chat. Was a weird situation to say the least, he initiated the conversation by saying that he knew I was a massive pink floyd fan and that he was too. Cue a whole lot of babble about musical tastes ( at one point he said he used to love death metal lol). He never mentioned anything about my marriage or anything jw like but from what ive read largely on here they are likely to try and build a rapport first anyway. I had a few slip of the tounge, I bumped the table at one point and said ohh god, and swore a couple times which made me chuckle on the inside. this elder and his wife lived within walking distance to the town hall and at one point this girl came up and asked them if they had a banana at their house that she could have for her baby. They said yes and my wife offered to go for a walk to get it and asked me to come. As the elders wife passed mine the keys to the house she said that were not to use the bedroom while we were there which I thought was a bit strange. Anyway thats all, my first experience with one of elders. Luckily it was a situation were I could chop back a few beers lol

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

I think what great teacher said is right, I do want to meet these elders. So I know who is prying into my private life. Heres a question for you guys... do I have the 'right' to ask to speak to these elders privately? I dont want them speaking to my wife without me present regarding our marriage/sex life. And if so how do I go about this? Do I approach them outside the hall, ie phoning them, or do I approach them at the hall etc?

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

@slave4... that is some funny shit. Always good to start a day with a laugh. Thanks.

@morpheus... yeah I agree theres disconnected thoughts there. But please considet that my head has been all over the show since it all happened. I considered asking her to leave more to prove her loyalty. I can now see that this isnt thr right approach for a number of reasons. Largely as her friends and family would shun her, which would make her miserable, and the kids would be without their grandparents who they love so dearly. I can see this was a silly idea.

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

@roberto... yes she was, however she was going off the rails when i met hwr, she got pregnant, defellowshiped, we married, she was reinstated. We went through the same thing with her accepting me as I was, and I not standing between her and her faith.

as far as our kids go they are living reasonably normal lives. I celebrate their birthdays and xmas etc and they will participate fully at school. our 4 yo is even about to start his second season of football.

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

Cheers guys, I guess ill just go to this memorial and wing most of it. Ill stick to my wife and kids like glue and try to only talk to those who I already know. Good to know about the bread and wine thing, although ill be tempted to eat and drink it just for a (I wont but ill be tempted).

@ faye... yep it truely is a wonderful place. Having travelled alot it has me very grateful for my country. We are very lucky.

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

Thanks people, its certainly going to be wierd and i do think it may be hard work to not start rolling my eyes. But ill be on my best behavior lol. I realize these people pride themselves on converting people, my wife being one of them, but if they push too hard ill start pushing back.

I hope she doesnt start trying to get me to study or anything and im sure she wont, it will just cause arguments which we really need to avoid at the moment.

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

Thats kind of what I thought too village idiot, I dont think that I would go down that road anyway. Not that I imagine they have any respect for me anyway, bitut honestly I dont give a shit. I do however give a shit about what they are saying to my my wife and kids, particularly my wife regarding our marriage at the moment. As far as the kids go ill just slowly and subtly tap away at them getting them to question it to the point they see the truth about the truth so to speak.

So just to point it out again, im not being forced to do anything here. I just feel that it would help to know who the elders are and what the inside of the building looks like. Id just like to know if there is certian protocols that I should know before going. Ill probably just stick to my wife and kids like glue or talk to those that know me and where I stand And havent tried shoving it down my throat before

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

She didnt ask me to come I said I would. She did however suggest the idea of me going to the memorial instead.

I honestly dont believe she is going to try drag me back again. She knows how I feel about it and that view wont change. I also realise im not really going to get to know these elders in one meeting, id just at the least like to know what they look like. It has been suggested to me that I request a meeting with them and explain that our children are being raised with an open mind, as I still celebrate their birthdays and my family still celebrate xmas. I also (pperhaps I am being a bit niave) that the people at her KH are unlikely to try and convice me to start studying, as ive said I know a number of them and they all know my stance