Posts by rathernotsay

25

Raising kids in a split faith household

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hi guys, don't know if this is the right place to ask but id like to hear other peoples experiences with raising kids in a household with split faiths.

just for a bit of a back story, my wife and i have been married for comming up 6 years.

we have 3 kids, 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and a 8 week old girl.

rathernotsay

Been thinking about this 66% Stat, she has 2 brothers and 2 sisters and out of the 50 of them only her and one sister are haha. That means that I'll have 1 jw kid. Should've stopped at 2, my eldest is remarkably like me and completly obsessed with space ( thank you thunderbirds ) so it won't be him. My middle child is real naughty, likes to be the clown and make people laugh, bit of a smart arse so it won't be him. That means it'll be my daughter which is probably more likely purely based on gender as she'll be more like mum.

It's intresting that a few of you have mentioned about how they may try stop the children from being around other non jw kids by discouraging sports etc. I live in new zealand where children are heavily encouraged to play sports, by both parents and schools. I haven't really had this problem. My wife's been quite ok with the sports thing, my eldest joined a football club at 3 and was in a NZ junior programme at 4. He's not showing a lot of interest this year though, if he doesn't want to play I won't force him to. Mr 3 has shown immense promise with his football ability so I'll probably sign him up this year too. Even her family have been supportive, helping with the expenses, taking them if we can't etc.

25

Raising kids in a split faith household

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hi guys, don't know if this is the right place to ask but id like to hear other peoples experiences with raising kids in a household with split faiths.

just for a bit of a back story, my wife and i have been married for comming up 6 years.

we have 3 kids, 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and a 8 week old girl.

rathernotsay

There's some useful advice here.. thanks everyone. The 3 and 5 year old already understand that I am not a witness. Well more they understand I dont come to the meetings but I think Mr 5 knows now that dad doesn't believe what he or mum does.

Its hard to separate them from the cult. Their friends are all witnesses, as most are just the children of friends of hers.

I do certainly make time to do things with them that are far removed from this cult, whether that's taking them out to the park, bike rides etc. I guess by comparison it's not too bad for us, she accepts that I don't want them to be jws and it's never really discussed in my house, while I'm around anyway.

25

Raising kids in a split faith household

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hi guys, don't know if this is the right place to ask but id like to hear other peoples experiences with raising kids in a household with split faiths.

just for a bit of a back story, my wife and i have been married for comming up 6 years.

we have 3 kids, 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and a 8 week old girl.

rathernotsay

Wow sorry to hear that. I don't think she will ever discover ttatt. And I'm not asking her too, but it's hard and frustrating at times not to outright mock her faith. Trying to be respectful

25

Raising kids in a split faith household

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hi guys, don't know if this is the right place to ask but id like to hear other peoples experiences with raising kids in a household with split faiths.

just for a bit of a back story, my wife and i have been married for comming up 6 years.

we have 3 kids, 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and a 8 week old girl.

rathernotsay

Haha good to know joe

25

Raising kids in a split faith household

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hi guys, don't know if this is the right place to ask but id like to hear other peoples experiences with raising kids in a household with split faiths.

just for a bit of a back story, my wife and i have been married for comming up 6 years.

we have 3 kids, 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and a 8 week old girl.

rathernotsay

Hi guys, don't know if this is the right place to ask but id like to hear other peoples experiences with raising kids in a household with split faiths.

Just for a bit of a back story, my wife and I have been married for comming up 6 years. We have 3 kids, 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and a 8 week old girl. While our marriage has had its trails (see my posts from a year ago on here), were reasonably happy.

She is a jw, I am not. I don't really have any religous affiliation, however am somewhat spiritual. One thing that has repeatedly become a source of tention is the childrens beliefs.

I don't want them to grow up as jws. She does. I want them to have an understanding and be respectful of other religions and cultures but not to actually belive it themselves.

They attend meetings and assemblys with her, this is largely due to my work commitments, and my inability to be home when she is at her meetings. Only our 5 year old pays any attention, but it honestly makes me feel sick when I hear him telling me or others about jehovah. We don't say grace etc in my household, however I know this is not entirely the case particularly when I'm working nights. However when they stay with her parents they do which as I want them to be respectful I do not object, however I did once when her father asked my 5 year old to say grace.

They're so young and I imagine that they will make their own minds up eventually, for now all I can think to do is encourage learning about space and dinosaurs etc.

Anyway I'd like to hear how others have dealt with similar situations, from both perspectives. Cheers people.

24

JWs through the eyes of an eight year old

by maksutov in

my wife is a jw, and is teaching our eight year old daughter jw beliefs.

i am trying to teach her about evolution and critical thinking skills.

here is a conversation we had today (as best i can remember it):daughter: "why do bad things happen?

rathernotsay

Im in a similar boat, not quite the same (4&2) age but never the less am having the same kind of issue. my wife and her family are all jw. Myself and my family arent religious.

I think you are doing a great job at trying to teach your daughter. Keep it up, it sounds she like she is a bright kid.

its only my 4yo thats asking questions. I have found all I can really do at this point is get him interested in dinosaurs and space, hoping that he asks the right questions later.

its a funny postion to be in that ive found compromise in the marriage is important. I made certian rules for the kids like we dont say grace in our home, she doesnt use the phrase the truth to them, and of course if they dont want to go they dont have to. as my family celebrate xmas by getting drunk and eating excessively she has to come along and enjoy the fun with the kids etc.

I guess its a learning process. I have learnt to try not to seem as if im arguing with the kids about it. And ive learnt to try not to get annoyed when he tells my friends that jeh loves them. It sounds to me like youve got this under control. With your guidance Im sure she will see the real truth

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

Haah heck no slave4. Still aint been there since shit hit the fan. Although the thought of screwing in her elders bed made me smile haha

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

Just a little side note. .. last night we went to a wedding reception of a (non jw) friend of hers. She said before hand that she wouldnt know anyone else there but the bride and groom and I wouldnt either.

We arrived and were shown to our table were we were sat next to several jws including one of her elders. It quickly became apparent that she knew they would be there.

I felt rather ambushed as she was obviously trying to play happy couple. I didnt so much give her the cold shoulder but I didn't really reciprocate the affection. each time we got up from thr table to get a drink or say hello to the bride etc she kept saying that I should talk to said elder. The elder made a point of sitting next to me to chat. Was a weird situation to say the least, he initiated the conversation by saying that he knew I was a massive pink floyd fan and that he was too. Cue a whole lot of babble about musical tastes ( at one point he said he used to love death metal lol). He never mentioned anything about my marriage or anything jw like but from what ive read largely on here they are likely to try and build a rapport first anyway. I had a few slip of the tounge, I bumped the table at one point and said ohh god, and swore a couple times which made me chuckle on the inside. this elder and his wife lived within walking distance to the town hall and at one point this girl came up and asked them if they had a banana at their house that she could have for her baby. They said yes and my wife offered to go for a walk to get it and asked me to come. As the elders wife passed mine the keys to the house she said that were not to use the bedroom while we were there which I thought was a bit strange. Anyway thats all, my first experience with one of elders. Luckily it was a situation were I could chop back a few beers lol

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

I think what great teacher said is right, I do want to meet these elders. So I know who is prying into my private life. Heres a question for you guys... do I have the 'right' to ask to speak to these elders privately? I dont want them speaking to my wife without me present regarding our marriage/sex life. And if so how do I go about this? Do I approach them outside the hall, ie phoning them, or do I approach them at the hall etc?

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

rathernotsay

@slave4... that is some funny shit. Always good to start a day with a laugh. Thanks.

@morpheus... yeah I agree theres disconnected thoughts there. But please considet that my head has been all over the show since it all happened. I considered asking her to leave more to prove her loyalty. I can now see that this isnt thr right approach for a number of reasons. Largely as her friends and family would shun her, which would make her miserable, and the kids would be without their grandparents who they love so dearly. I can see this was a silly idea.