Posts by Fleur

75

How much should a married woman show?

by greendawn in

jw
friends

do you think a married woman should go out provocatively dressed?

some of my friends accept it some don't and one had big arguments with his wife about the issue until the time when he cunningly got her to become overweight something that spoilt her good looks.

think of it, a married woman going out wearing tight shorts showing so much leg and buttocks and a top that reveals too much breast, as if almost saying "i am going out to entice some men", should a dignified husband accept that?

Fleur

I actually had the opposite problem with my first husband. He wanted me to dress MORE revealing because he liked it when men ogled me. It made me sick and I was also trying to be a modest JW woman so his actions really upset me.

Some of my friends accept it some don't and one had big arguments with his wife about the issue until the time when he cunningly got her to become overweight something that spoilt her good looks.

That is totally underhanded. How can you sabotage the health of someone you're supposed to love? If she becomes diabetic or has other health issues because he 'got her to become overweight' then I hope he can live with himself! Also how long before this guy is ogling other women because his wife has 'let herself go' ???

Having said that, no I don't think married women should dress like they're on the market, as it were. Nothing wrong with being stylish and showing a little leg but if you're looking like you're trying to pick somebody up...then you are.

JMHO.

essie

26

Hi JWD!

by WTFBBQPWNT in

jw
friends

i'm new.

i enjoy roller-hockey, kenny rogers, and bathroom ballet.

Fleur

Welcome to the forum! I'm a cartoon character who enjoys fiber arts, obscure music and in the past, currupting young, innocent and impressionable university students. Well, just one ;) He was the only innocent and impressionable one left so I currupted him.

essie

75

Do you love/care for people here?

by lonelysheep in

jw
friends

i care about all of you.

i love some of you and have told you that, some i love and haven't told (yet).

for some of us, those here truly are family and friends.

Fleur

Brigid, your comment about being between worlds was perfect...exactly how I feel! It's like we've all served in a war together and you can't explain to people who haven't lived it what it's like to, say, be shunned by your family or have nightmares about pictures from the Paradise book. You just can't explain it.

I was contemplating suicide again in the weeks prior to coming here. The terrible agony & loneliness of not belonging (& not wanting to belong) in the Organization, combined with never finding my place in the world at large, was getting to be too much to bear. While things are still difficult, I am very glad now that I did not make that decision.

DesertRat, I too am so glad you didn't do that ((((((((DR))))))) Your post makes me shudder, because I have friends who did make that choice and it breaks my heart still. This is why I still post here.

People sometimes have to leave...but I say if you can find a way to hang around then you can really help people who are at the starting point of the journey you're a little further down the road on. I can't believe how many newbies we have lately, and it amazes me. I've been here five years (old username included) and I can't believe how much progress so many people have made.

Yes, I truly care about people here. I cry with you, I cheer with you when you do something like stand up to bullying JW relatives or graduate college or find happiness in life...I find myself thinking about people here when I'm away from the computer with concern for those struggling with the early stages and with gratitude for those who have helped me. I just hope that I can help a little in return.

hugs

essie

6

How can I help my sister

by godsgraceisfree in

my family was raised in a very sincere christian home.

i have 2 sisters and have always been as close as best friends.

my little sister (30) a year ago met a man.

Fleur

Since she's not a minor I don't think there is much you can do but offer your love and support to the kids especially...and if they're in danger, report the situation to the authorities. I don't think they'd allow them to stay in a home where anyone is growing pot; 'medical' or otherwise unless it's legal where you are. It's not here.

It's devestating to watch our siblings destroy their lives. I have been through this so I know your pain, but fortunately for me no children are involved. If they kids are in danger, as they may be with that man in the house if he has a criminal record, the situation may need to be reported to the authorities.

good luck...there's only so much you can do when you're dealing with adults. It's just a nightmare when their bad decisions put children in harm's way.

essie

58

Please explain how disfellowshipping is a loving gesture

by McKafka99 in

can someone please outline the rationale and scriptures used to support the idea that disfellowshipping is a loving gesture?

i am trying to understand how this behavior is justified, when in my mind in seems a simple matter; one only needs ask oneself, 'if jesus (or jehovah) were standing next to you, would jesus (or jehovah), support any shunning-type actions?

' i find it very difficult that the answer would ever be 'yes'.

Fleur

You bring up an interesting point, Greendawn!

Think about it folks; they disfellowship and shun you the same whether you've been caught smoking, murdered somebody, or raped a child (if they can prove the rape, which is rare). How does that make sense? How are those sins possibly comparable?

How can you compare someone who remarries without proof of scriptural grounds (whether they exist or not notwithstanding) with someone who takes another life???

It gets sillier and sillier, the more you think about it.

58

Please explain how disfellowshipping is a loving gesture

by McKafka99 in

can someone please outline the rationale and scriptures used to support the idea that disfellowshipping is a loving gesture?

i am trying to understand how this behavior is justified, when in my mind in seems a simple matter; one only needs ask oneself, 'if jesus (or jehovah) were standing next to you, would jesus (or jehovah), support any shunning-type actions?

' i find it very difficult that the answer would ever be 'yes'.

Fleur

I forgot to comment in my earlier post how sad the story of the young woman's suicide makes me...I've lost some friends to suicide after df'ing...one of them if I'd only known he'd been df'd I'd have called him right up to try to talk him through it, I could've told you he could never stand being cut off from his family.

It's such a senseless and worthless way for a person to die :( But JW's keep people so isolated that they think they're the only ones who've ever gone through it. Thank whatever powers or forces there may be for the Internet.

essie

23

I'm an ANTICHRIST

by nicolaou in

who is the liar if it is not the one that denies that jesus is the christ?

this is the antichrist, the one that denies the father and the son.

(1 john 2:22)

Fleur

LOL @ Queenbee...I like your sense of humor! Welcome to the forum!

You can't be the Antichrist, Nic...sorry dude. My family has already declared me the winner and champion of that title LOL I'm willing to share!

:D

*bwhaahahahahah! *snort* *giggle**

I never have been able to master the evil cackle, though.

essie

58

Please explain how disfellowshipping is a loving gesture

by McKafka99 in

can someone please outline the rationale and scriptures used to support the idea that disfellowshipping is a loving gesture?

i am trying to understand how this behavior is justified, when in my mind in seems a simple matter; one only needs ask oneself, 'if jesus (or jehovah) were standing next to you, would jesus (or jehovah), support any shunning-type actions?

' i find it very difficult that the answer would ever be 'yes'.

Fleur

thanks for the clarification, Warlock...

So instead of the abused being kicked out, the abuser should be kicked out. The reporting of crimes to the authorities goes without question.
Warlock

Yeah, that's the way it's supposed to work. But like most things in life, it's one thing in theory and another in practice...and unfortunately there are people who have also been df'd for reporting to the authorities. Elders don't do it even in states where it's required. Sickening.

essie

58

Please explain how disfellowshipping is a loving gesture

by McKafka99 in

can someone please outline the rationale and scriptures used to support the idea that disfellowshipping is a loving gesture?

i am trying to understand how this behavior is justified, when in my mind in seems a simple matter; one only needs ask oneself, 'if jesus (or jehovah) were standing next to you, would jesus (or jehovah), support any shunning-type actions?

' i find it very difficult that the answer would ever be 'yes'.

Fleur

It is a loving gesture to the Cong. when the disfellowshipped one is a child molester, don't you agree?

Warlock, it would be loving if they reported the molesting to the police instead of trying to keep things quiet. Putting a molester in prison is one sure way to protect the congregation wouldn't you say?

Not only that but a lot, dare I venture to say most molesters do not get df'd? Because between the two witness rule (what molester invites someone to watch their horrible activities?) and the begging forgiveness and repentance thing...many are left in the congregation to rape and molest again and again.

Littletoe has it exactly right; it's about command and control. How many JW's would stay if they knew they could choose to leave and not lose everything and everyone they love? Especially if you're born in, it seems like there is no easy way to get out if you don't believe it. Everyone I had ever loved or been friends with with few exceptions ceased all contact with me when I divorced a man who mistreated me and married one who does not.

How was I a danger to the congregation? I think my real crime was refusing to be dominated by males and thinking for myself; and realizing I did deserve better.

I think the only loving thing about df'ing is that it can help you to see the truth about the org. I still believed when I was df'd. I actually da'd but they ignored it and df'd me because I was family of the PO. To be made an example of.

Only after I was out a couple years, did I have the strength to overcome the watchtower instilled fear of apostates and put JW's into a search engine. I found freeminds and that was the beginning of my getting free.

So I consider Df'ing to be a protection now. I wrote a post on that a long time ago, here's the link http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/18180/1.ashx

It's not loving, it protects no one because a lot of the most dangerous people do not get kicked out...and no one is safe in a kingdom hall. Believe it. Btw...has anybody seen this? http://experts.about.com/q/Jehovah-s-Witness-1617/excomunication.htm Who wants to be the one to post a reply?? :D

essie

39

Any of you oldies out there remember me??????

by BLISSISIGNORANCE in

jw
friends

i know it's been ages, busy living i guess.

but i thought i'ld drop in and say hello.. i sometimes read posts and ask misspeaches what's going on.

as i'm having the day off work today i decided to take the time to post a big 'hello ' to all my old friends on the forum, and also to the new members here.. nothing much has changed for me and my family.

Fleur

Fact is the whole experience of being a JW and all the bad events and traumas have become a very distant memory to me.

That's the best that any of us can hope for, Bliss! I remember you and I'm happy to hear that you're doing so well! Take care and pop in now and again!

hugs

essie