Fleur

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Posts by Fleur

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  24

  Guess who came to my door yesterday?!?!

  by Billygoat in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  neil and i are enjoying our typical sunday afternoon snuggle on the sofa.

  we're watching some really boring tv and flipping through the channels.

  then somebody knocks at the door, sending my two little dogs into a barking frenzy.

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  Fleur

  aww, don't worry andi, you'll have another chance. You took magazines, they'll be back, you're a RETURN VISIT now!! :D

  love ya!

  fleur
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  29

  Thanks to everyone (and let me introduce myself)....

  by TallTexan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  randy was kind enough to recently post my story on his website (www.exjws.net/pioneers/rjjw.htm) the response i received was overwhelming, with many invitations to join this discussion forum.

  i won't go into my story, as it is posted and, as long as it is, is really only the tip of the iceberg.

  the more i read and the more i talk to former jw's, the more i'm convinced that i have been duped..something i never thought would happen to me, as cynical as i am.

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  Fleur

  welcome! i read your story the other day when our dear Randy posted about it here. (I love that man, btw! :) he's an angel if such things exist :)

  you're already a member without knowing it of a growing 'club'...the "they got me as a zygote" club. if i hadn't had the misfortune of being exposed to the borg from conception, they would not likely have gotten me as an adult. i believed it because i was raised to know nothing else. fortunately, my child has it better.

  hugs to you and welcome, hope you find strength in numbers here. i have had more genuine kindness and concern come into my life through exjw's (so called low apostates) than i ever did from the 'loving brothers'.

  your dear mother..poor thing. what happened to her is wrong on so many levels i can't even begin to say.

  hugs,

  fleur
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  28

  Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i posted this in a thread but perhaps it needs to be on its own so that it doesn't take over the other thread.

  most people who have lived in a cult or high control group such as the jws will experience many of the symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-ptsd).. complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

  trauma and recovery .

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  Fleur

  thanks lee, this is a keeper that i didn't see in the other thread, thank you for posting it.

  love

  fleur
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  33

  Allow me to Introduce myself.

  by truthbeliever in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello,forum.my name is dallas and i live in oklahoma.i left the jehovahs witnesses in 1998 after a former member showed me the 1925 false prophecy.i knew circuit overseer william osbeck very well,he left my circuit only to be replaced with brother"if you knock the society i will scream"boatz.he was nothing but a first class coward.he wouldnt even meet with me after i had disassociated myself.i have no regrets about leaving,why didnt my conducters bring up the 1925 failure while i was studying?they failed to mention it.anyway i am glad to be free.god bless you all.-dallas

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  Fleur

  welcome, Dallas! i hope that you will be able to find what you need here, whatever brought you to us!

  hugs,

  fleur
• 
  7

  Just Another Day

  by Farkel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this very old thread of mine was resurrected for my friend onacruse.

  it is being brought up to show him (he's a relatively newbie ex-dub) that some things just don't change.. some of the people in this thread have moved on, but the social dynamics are still the same.

  people will always be people, good bad, or indifferent.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/16637/1.ashx.

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  Fleur

  excellent, master farkel, only you forgot another classic...

  Esmeralda: I'm leaving!

  Englishman: don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out!

  All: we'll see you in a week, essie.

  six months later:

  Esmeralda: I'm back!

  oh, and i had the (((((((((hugging))))))))))) thing going even before dear tina did!

  LOL

  i can laugh at myself, isn't that a sign of growth? :D cause i'm not the girl i used to be. i'm not nearly as screwed up as i used to be, hence why the name, and the woman, have retired. but i'm still here :)

  btw, reason i came and went so much was at panic points when something would trigger me, i realize that now. now that i recognize it, and know what it is, i'm a lot less flighty. but hell, at least i was always sincere, whether i was coming or going lol

  love ya fark.

  fleur

  (of the en ex-jdub by any user name still has the same baggage, class)
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  43

  You Think Dubs Are Wacky? Check Out Islam!

  by Farkel in

  1. social
  2. current

  you think dubs are wacky?

  you think islam is a "peaceful" religion?

  the crap below which is straight from the hadith makes fred franz look like mother teresa, einstein and aristotle combined.

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  Fleur

  Even psychos like him get something right now and then.

  well you know what they say, fark...no one can be wrong 100% of the time...this was JFR's one percent LOL.

  hugs,

  fleur

  (though if you remember me it would be as 'essie')
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  21

  DF'd, what do I say????

  by Pinned Blouse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i wrongly df'd 5 years ago i never went back, there are jw's at my job and i sometimes see jw's on the street.

  if they smile at me i smile back since they do not know.. question - what am i officially to tell those that innocently say hi to me?

  (i would never tell them that i was df'd because i think it is wrong) but i an curious since it has been so long.. .

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  Fleur

  as more time goes by, pinned, you will learn to shed the shame and guilt that they thrust on to you when you were df'd. (i think this is true of folks whether df'd wrongly, or 'rightly' if you're going by jw rules...) i think that the longer you're out, and/or once you learn the truth about the "truth" then you realize that not only don't these people have any authority over you, they sure as hell didn't have the authority to tell your family and friends that you were unfit association; that is something each person should decide in their lives one on one and based on behavior of the individuals involved.

  example: i have a never been a jw relative through marriage who was showing undue interest in my young daughter. so my husband and i nipped that in the bud; he is no longer welcome in my home. he knows why, he has never argued the point; so the wife (my blood relative) leaves it be and ironically, told me she agreed with my decision! but that is not based on any committee of men without the facts being involved; that is based on the behavior i saw developing that i wanted to cut right off for my child's safety.

  the org. uses df'ing to shame people who question them, for one thing (forget anything else done, that is all you have to do to get the ax!) and once you realize that, that there is just no way to decide you don't believe anymore without these consequences if you get 'found out'...then you realize just how ridiculous the whole thing is and lose the shame and guilt.

  i hope this makes sense, i haven't had my caffeine this morning yet. but my point is, don't let them hold the power over you still. like everyone else said, just be your own sweet self to everyone at work, treat the jw's just like everyone else.

  recently, we were at a restaurant and a table of jw's (most of whom i recognized) from a cong. i attended 15 years ago were beside ours. one guy (who is a nice person) kept kinda glancing at us like he thought he knew me, but he wouldn't know my husband. anyway, as i ate my meal, i had an epiphany; for the first time, i thought that if someone approached me not knowing i was df'd, and asked, or just approached me that way and i didn't want to continue the conversation, i'd say "how are you?" when they asked how i was, i would reply "You know, i'm better then i've ever been, i'm not a jw anymore!" and leave it at that. if they continued the conversation then it would be their choice. if they walked away, they'd have something to think about to take with them as a lovely parting gift.

  in any event, don't hang your head in shame. you don't deserve to. cast that off, today. because you are worthy of love of anyone who treats you well, and don't you doubt that for a second just because three or four men on a committee with no power except over the weak minded told you that you were now an outsider.

  love,

  fleur
• 
  21

  DF'd, what do I say????

  by Pinned Blouse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i wrongly df'd 5 years ago i never went back, there are jw's at my job and i sometimes see jw's on the street.

  if they smile at me i smile back since they do not know.. question - what am i officially to tell those that innocently say hi to me?

  (i would never tell them that i was df'd because i think it is wrong) but i an curious since it has been so long.. .

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  Fleur

  i wouldn't tell them anything. you're there to do your job, not become their best friend. if religion came up as a topic, i would say that i am uncomfortable discussing that on the job; that usually sends most jw's toddling off relieved they don't have to say any more.

  if someone knows you from before then it may be different...but unless its a must, i wouldn't tell them anything. it's just not any of their business.

  btw, love your username. the first time i saw it i roared, i was a blouse-pinner, too. couldn't help being genetically endowed! LOL

  hugs,

  fleur
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  17

  JW view of psychiatrists...

  by Fleur in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  yesterday i was having a debate with my mother (who bucks the jw system by still talking to me even though i'm df'd, my parents are the only relatives who will see me) and she was going on about how the only people she ever knew who committed suicide had lost jehovah's holy spirit.

  she said the same thing of people who go on medication, that it's the same as drug use and that its opening the door for demons.. that was when i finally dropped the bomb on her, that i have been on anti-depressants on and off for more than 10 years.

  i have stopped taking them cold several times when i needed to (got pregnant, other reasons for another day) so they are not addictive.

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  Fleur

  ((((((((((((Scully)))))))))))))))))))

  i had HORRIFIC post partum depression. i've had major depressive disorder since i was 12, only got diagnosed/treated in my 20's when i was old enough to go myself because my family has the jw view of therapists. it's a literal miracle i survived my teens. having to stop medication while i was pregnant on top of my history made my post partum really long lasting and stubborn. i am so, so sorry that you had to go through not only the depression but also the treatment from jw's! grrrrrrr!!!!!!!! makes my blood boil.

  ((((((((((Stefanie)))))))))) doesn't matter what they think, honey, it doesn't change who you are!!!!!!! hugs!!!

  love,

  fleur
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  18

  Helping a fellow Jehovah's Witness.

  by ScoobySnax in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i work on a busy surgical ward in the nhs.

  the other morning during handover the night staff handed over that a certain woman in a particular bed was a jw.

  her hb was low at 7dgb following surgery etc etc.....and she was just silly for not accepting a blood transfusion.. i spent most of the day busy, but kept a mental note to go and see her in particular, to let her know that i understood where she was coming from.

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  Fleur

  when i was in the hospital having my daughter, and having a hard time, there was a nurse who was especially kind to me, came back at the end of her shift to see my baby after i finally delivered.

  she told me that her best friend for years had become a jw, and that she felt a special 'protectiveness' for me because of that.

  no matter the reason, i was grateful for her kindness to me when i was in such pain. i won't ever forget it, and i doubt that the lady, or her family, will forget you either, scooby.

  i raise my mug to nurses. you are so underappreciated. there were a couple when my dad was ill that were really mean, but there were a couple who made the whole experience much less painful with their simple kindnesses to me as i sat vigil at his bedside.

  thanks to all the nurses here, you are appreciated!

  hugs

  fleur