Posts by Fleur

21

Kwintestal's Letter of Disassociation

by kwintestal in

jw
friends

to whom it may concern: .

i was raised a jehovah?s witness and taught from infancy it?s beliefs and doctrines.

i was baptized on (date of baptism here) at the age of 12 years old.

Fleur

I feel that because of the age I was when I became a baptized member of the Jehovah?s Witness faith, I was unable to make a personal, educated decision that would affect my life indefinitely. Jesus Christ himself waited until he was 30 years old to be baptized, therefore when I made that choice when I was 12 years old, I did so in ignorance, and under pressure from my family, members of the Congregation I was attending and from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society by means of the Watchtower magazine and other printed material, therefore I am annulling my baptism. By this action, I have voluntarily resigned from the Watchtower organization and do not recognize the Society or the congregation elders as having any authority over me at all. Since I have annulled my baptism and resigned from the organization, and therefore no longer profess to be a Jehovah?s Witness, I prohibit you from disfellowshipping me or in any way defaming my character before others, including making a public announcement stating that I have disassociated myself. If I am disfellowshipped or am slandered in any way, I will take legal action against you.

Wow, Kwin, that is great. As another of the baptized under 13 crowd I concur that we had no idea what the hell we were doing.

Unfortunately, when I told similiar stuff to the local elders, they ignored my disassociating myself and df'd me anyway. I guess being the PO's daughter in law meant that I couldn't quit, they were going to fire me no matter what.

Best of luck to you, and all my hopes that for you and Mrs Kwin that life truly begins today. It's like a rebirth. Happy Birthday :)

hugs,

essie

62

Wish Me Luck

by Englishman in

jw
friends

today i visit the hospital for my pre-operative check up.

if i'm found to be fit and healthy once more, then i will be admitted back into wsm general in 2 weeks time to get reconnected.. which will mean goodbye to the bag and hello to my a**!

just in time for christmas.. it's something to with be able to withstand anasthesea.

Fleur

All Eman wants for Christmas is...not his two front teeth *smile*

Hoping, hoping, everything is crossed for you Mike. Will be thinking of you and waiting for good news :)

love,

essie

23

On becoming a (shunned) person...

by logansrun in

jw
friends

as i walked back from the bank to my car yesterday i saw an elder and his wife from my old, old congregation.

i waved, but they didn't see me.

they entered their car, backed up and i stood exactly two feet away from their window smiling and waving.

Fleur

But when your own family does it, it has a fresh and unnatural pain.
Other than that, though, the entertainment possibilities are endless... bon discomme!
CZAR

Ain't that the truth, CZAR?

Congratulations (I think) Bradley. It does crack me up when the general rank and file shun me, kind of like I'm so evil that demons might rub off on them if they look at me. It is amusing, the lengths they go to to avoid eye contact. I loved it when they had to have me wait on them at my old job, they had no choice.

But with family...ugh I can't begin to articulate how it sucks. I'm still debating if I'm going to my grandmother's 'memorial' because of it.

But I'm glad that you can see the humor in it...by all means, keep that sense of humor. It will help; a lot.

hugs,

essie

27

Please help me; Do you believe in an afterlife? If so, why, if not...

by Fleur in

jw
friends

...how do you cope when someone dear to you dies?.

i have felt this sense of total panic over me since my grandmother's passing earlier this week, because i don't know where she is or what is happening to her, if anything.

part of me clings to the jw indoctrination that she is just asleep, but i don't believe in the resurrection to life on earth anymore so that leaves me cold and empty.

Fleur

thank you dear outnfree! You have a PM.

See you all when I get back into town, and thanks again I will be pondering all that you've said and all that I read at the links you shared with me.

love,

essie

33

Best Healing... Leave or Stay JWD...

by Confucious in

jw
friends

my girlfriend is saying to me... .

just write a letter of disassociation, and join some other chat group and move on.

she loves you guys, because i often tell her about "what's going on here.

Fleur

OMG! what happened when you went back, if you can talk about it, how was it trying to do it again? I just don't think I could ever stand it again. At least I hope not...I'm glad that you got back out!

I'm off to pack for a trip I am going on tomorrow but I will check back to read your answer soon as i can and hopefully before I leave town.

Hang in there and remember, do what feels right in your healing.

hugs!

essie

33

Best Healing... Leave or Stay JWD...

by Confucious in

jw
friends

my girlfriend is saying to me... .

just write a letter of disassociation, and join some other chat group and move on.

she loves you guys, because i often tell her about "what's going on here.

Fleur

(((((con)))))))) big hugs.

As someone who has come and gone several times (to the point of being a joke for doing it, but that's okay...) I have gone and come back for different reasons each time.

I forget who it was but someone said before that when you have family in, things come up that keep you stuck on some points. I found that the things that brought me back here were family situations and a desperate need to talk about it with the only other people in the world who can really understand; and that is other people who are going through it.

The only really good reason to leave is because you're ready. Even if that means ready for a break. You can go and come back. For awhile I had to leave because preaching the ex-JW gospel had become a full time job and I was literally exhausted physically and emotionally. But each time I have gone and come I have learned and I hope, have become a better person in the process with more to add to help others here in the process. It's all about learning.

Your GF may never understand what you get out of being here. But that's okay, because there will be things about her that you won't get, everyone has their things. Stay until you feel you can't gain or give anymore positively by being here. Then you'll know when it's time to move on. No one can hit your emotional fast-forward button, such things don't exist.

Ask her for patience, and if she wonders why we need to be reminded that we're not crazy, ask her to read the recent threads about my grandmother and what my family is putting me through. Then she should see that we really need each other, and everyone here in this place, for however long they stay, serves an important purpose, to themselves, and to others.

hugs,

essie

33

Were you ever a victim of the "JW STARE"?

by doodle-v in

jw
friends

you know what i'm talking about... .

for instance, if you go to a meeting and haven't been there for ages.

your stand up during the song and suddenly what seems like the whole cong gets afflicted with the jw stare.

Fleur

oh hell, yes.

Many times now. At work, when JW's came into the place. From my own family members, if running into them in a public place like say a restaurant. They look at me like I should vaporize...like I have no business existing on the planet.

Got a couple hundred of them at a distant relatives funeral. Am not looking forward to receiving more of the same at my own grandmother's memorial should I decide to go in a couple weeks :/

To those who aren't family, I always smile, sincerely. It unnerves them.

For Family, sometimes I get tears in my eyes, I can't help it. they always look away first.

18

Disfellowshipping and Shunning- is it scriptual?

by MonkeyPrincess in

tonight my sister told me our dad had mentioned that when you do not associate yourself with a disfellowshipped person, relative or not, you are honoring god and following the bible's guidlines.

i asked my sister if she knew where in the bible it states that.

she said she did not know, but knows that its in there, and knows that it relates something to that affect.

Fleur

Because if they don't they still get hassled by the local elders, other JW's, and other Jw relatives who aren't as "close". Also some do it to prove how super-spiritual they are; "I don't need to use a loophole, I'm loyal to Jehovah just like if it were anyone else in the congregation." that kind of thing.

That is my experience, anyway. :(

18

Disfellowshipping and Shunning- is it scriptual?

by MonkeyPrincess in

tonight my sister told me our dad had mentioned that when you do not associate yourself with a disfellowshipped person, relative or not, you are honoring god and following the bible's guidlines.

i asked my sister if she knew where in the bible it states that.

she said she did not know, but knows that its in there, and knows that it relates something to that affect.

Fleur

Purposes served by disfellowshipping:
Upholds Jehovah's name and standard of righteousness.
(Acts 15:14; 1 Pet. 1:14-16; compare Isaiah 52:5.)
Protects the purity of the congregation. (I Cor. 5:1-13;
May correct the unrepentant wrongdoer, bringing him to
his senses. (2 Cor. 2:6-8)

That's from the Elders book. That is the basis they use to justify it.

I found this interesting personally since I wrote a DA letter before they DF'd me...

It will not be necessary for a committee to continue the
investigation into alleged wrongdoing if the accused per-
son makes known his decision to disassociate himself.
(w84 7/1 p. 31 )

I guess being the PO's daughter in law, with his son wanting to be able to re-marry in a KH they were going to 'fire' me even if I 'quit' beforehand *rolling eyes*

My thing is, how they get to decide if a person is repentant enough or not. The whole issue just...makes me totally nauseated.

I'm sorry you and your sister are having to deal with this issue :( Believe me, I can relate. My family (99% of it anyway) chooses to take the hard line and not talk to me at all, period. Even though it's a conscience matter.

What they don't realize is that in the beginning, if they had been kinder and listened to me when I explained why I was doing what I was doing, and supported me getting out of an abusive marriage, I would have done all I could to get reinstated right away. But by showing me the true colors of their brand of christianity, they not only poisoned me against the WTS but also Christianity in general, and now I'm agnostic.

Great results of their loving kindness in shunning me, eh? I guess I'm better off. Sad to say I know some of my relatives would have preferred I had committed suicide instead of leaving the organization and the marriage, which was my first plan, than get df'd because then i'd have a chance for a resurrection.

But I'm glad that I'm here to raise my child, and in a way so she won't ever be a part of their sickness.

hugs

fleur

edited to add this: man this really makes me sick. Take special note of the last paragraph.

_ How funeral arrangements for a disfellowshipped person
may be handled:

If the disfellowshipped person had been giving evidence
of repentance, some brother's conscience might allow him
to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or grave site.
However, the Kingdom Hall should not be used. (w81
9/15 p. 31; w77 6/1 pp. 347-8)

If the deceased still advocated false teachings or ungod-
ly conduct, it would not be appropriate to give a
funeral talk for him. ( 2 John 9-11 )

Keep in mind that all the related hardships and tests
generated in this regard are an outgrowth of the wrong
conduct of the disfellowshipped person

Way to blame the dead person! Geez! I thought that the wages of sin was death and that those who had died were acquitted of their sins??? So much for comforting 'loyal' jw relatives. Can you imagine? they'd say "Well sister Faithful I wish I could do the talk for your son but you know, he was an unrepentant smoker and so the grief is being brought on you by him. Sorry."

I'm glad they wouldn't ever do a talk for me if I died, who wants their funeral to be a commercial for the WTS? I certainly DON'T!

33

Depressed and doubting...

by dura-luxe in

jw
friends

i've been out for 8 years, and for the first time in my life i am doubting.. not big doubts, but little ones.

it's all the middle east and the "peace and security" talk.

i feel like armageddon is coming.. the brainwashing never ends.

Fleur

It's so strange. Of course, I know the Jehovah's Witnesses philosophy is just idiotic and illogical, but when you're raised with something it just sticks with you. I guess 22 years of steady brainwashing takes more than just 8 years to disappear entirely.

awwww, Dura-Luxe ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) I know how you feel honey. I always say that if they hadn't gotten me as a zygote I never would have bought into their belief system. But they did. And they also had every other member of my family except literally 2 for four generations now going on the fifth one.

The biggest counter measure I have to the fear-mongering is this: they warned my parents that only those who were spiritually weak got married. My parents were then told that it was 'no time to be having children with the end so close'.

My mother is now a grandmother. Think about that. She was a teenager. They said the end was so near that she should not marry let alone have children. She now has a grandchild who is almost a decade old.

They've been turning that corner for years. Think of this. This is from the new brochure; I know that Ozzie is doing a great job of analyzing it on other threads but I think this might help you now and so I quote:

Would it make a difference if you knew?

If you knew for sure that the impending execution of divine judgement would not come for a few more years, would that change how you are using your life? If in the end of this old system is already later than you expected, have you allowed this to slow you down in Jehovah's service? -Hebrews 10:36-38

Our not knowing the exact time gives us opportunity to show that we serve God out of pure motives. Those who know Jehovah realize that a last-minute display of zeal will not impress God, who sees what the heart is- Jeremiah 17:10;Hebrews 4:13

For those who truly love Jehovah, he always comes first. Like other people, true Christians may do secular work. However, their goal is, not to get rich, but to have sufficient material goods and a little to share (Ephesians 4:28; 1Timothy 6:7-12) They also enjoy wholesome recreation and a change of pace, but their desire is to be refreshed, not simply to do what everyone else is doing. (Mark 6:31; Romans 12:2) Like Jesus Christ, they delight in doing God's will - Psalm 37:4; 40:8)

True Christians want to live and serve Jehovah forever. That prospect is not less precious because they must wait for certain blessings a little longer than some have expected.

Really think about what they are saying there. People are starting to really get restless because the end that was promised to be coming so imminently is still not here.

THAT is why they use the fear tactics they do. That is why they shun people. This is why they control their members.

If fear of dying a gruesome death at Armageddon or of losing your whole family to shunning doesn't keep a person 'in line' with their thinking, what would? What cheaper tactics could anyone use besides fear of death and destruction not only of yourself but those who are dearest to you?

If they suddenly said "You know what, we have no idea when its coming, it could be years and years." do you think people would stay?

Thinking of you, and sending you good thoughts and strength. I know how it feels to have days like that, and I hope that you feel better reading the good posts in this thread. My other advice is to read as many experiences of people who were born/raised in as you can and got out, there are definite patterns there. Even if you still believe in the Bible (I do not personally) doesn't it say that by their works you will know those who are truly following Christ? The proof is in the pudding and the JW's are failing, miserably.

hugs,

essie