Posts by Fleur

43

physical discipline

by Low-Key Lysmith in

anybody's jw parents ever use that "don't spare the rod" song and dance as an excuse to beat the living shit out of you?

my parents used to relish in the whole physical punishment thing.

i guess the question i'm trying to get at is, do you think wts promotes and encourages physical violence in the home?

Fleur

All I have to do is go to Wal-Mart and watch all the frickken BRATS, throwing tantrums and screaming bloody murder while mommy is in her "zone" completely ignoring it (or heavily medicated,not sure which) and I see the results of parents abdicating being "parents" to pop-psychology. I don't "abuse" my kids, as true "abuse" is bad and harmful. But I've seen many a parent "ABUSE" their child by doing nothing!

I agree that children need to be taught how to behave and have consequences for their actions, but there are other ways besides hitting. I'm not saying that you abuse your children; I want to be clear there. I am just saying that personally, I just don't think that hitting someone a third or half your size and without a clue as to what is really going on is a good way to go.

Now I'll step out of this thread cause I think it's going to turn into a debate and frankly I haven't the heart for it. This is a very touchy topic with me as you can imagine.

I didn't start this thread but I think that it would be nice for those of us who suffered from getting hit if those who want to defend the fact they do use physical punishment (in any amount)on their kids could do it in another thread.

essie

43

physical discipline

by Low-Key Lysmith in

anybody's jw parents ever use that "don't spare the rod" song and dance as an excuse to beat the living shit out of you?

my parents used to relish in the whole physical punishment thing.

i guess the question i'm trying to get at is, do you think wts promotes and encourages physical violence in the home?

Fleur

any man that can hit his own little girl is well i won't say it.

I grew up in mortal fear of the man. Even after he stopped hitting me, all he had to do was say my name with that tone or look at me sideways and I'd run away sobbing and hide. It wasn't until my twenties that I confronted him about it; of course he denied ever having hit me. But I asked my older siblings, and they remembered it clearly. They also thought that it was strange that I was the only one he hit.

I have made peace with my father now, and in fact, ironically, even though I thought we would never have any kind of relationship at all, we have a close one now. He is different in his old age than he was in his thirties and fourties. The anger isn't there anymore. He had a hellish childhood (not an excuse, just a fact) and I know he was beaten from infancy until the day he left home to get married (and other things I can't go into for privacy's sake) it's amazing he was any kind of parent at all.

I learned from my own parents how not to parent: and from my grandparents how TO parent. They used to come and take me away for days at a time, I think they knew I was the smallest person on the totem pole and often caught all my parent's anger and frustration.

Wooden hairbrushes, there were a couple of those too. I cannot imagine ever hitting my child with anything; let alone an object. What the hell were they thinking.

hugs to everyone who still has the scars, even though you may not see them now. Our children will never have to suffer what we did, because we're breaking the cycle. That makes every parent who was abused and doesn't abuse in turn a hero to me. thanks to everyone for their kind words too.

love

essie

32

if gf throws an ultimatum, what should one do? scary question........

by Buck in

jw
friends

if your very serious about a girl and youve been going out for over a year, but she is waiting on you to get baptized before marriage.

its too hard to leave.

but there are questions i have that i dont even think there are answers too.

Fleur

I'm sorry that you are going to be hurt by this relationship, no matter what you do. Better, really, to get out now.

Think about this: if you do convert (even just for show) think of what will be expected of you. She will get angry and resentful if you don't 'take the lead' spiritually. The WTS will control your whole life, are you willing to give up everything unique and enjoyable in your personality and life for that? Love isn't enough in this case, and believe me, I'm as hopeless a romantic as they come.

Imagine you do get married. The WTS controls your sex life, as was already brought out, and everything else. Then, imagine you have kids. Do you want to have to raise them with the same narrow version of reality that your gf has?

It just won't work. Better to save yourself the worse heartache that will come later. I promise you.

Run far and fast. I'm so sorry for your pain.

hugs

essie

43

physical discipline

by Low-Key Lysmith in

anybody's jw parents ever use that "don't spare the rod" song and dance as an excuse to beat the living shit out of you?

my parents used to relish in the whole physical punishment thing.

i guess the question i'm trying to get at is, do you think wts promotes and encourages physical violence in the home?

Fleur

Alot of the sisters would keep wooden spoons in their purses.

My mother chose to use hers at home, not at the hall. She also liked big plastic hairbrushes from Avon.Ask me why I don't have wooden spoons in my house to this day...they make me physically ill.

My dad favored the backhand upside the head;leaving me seeing stars. Finally my mother told him to quit or there would be trouble.

No one in the congregation said a word when I once raised my hand as a small child at the bookstudy when the conductor asked if anyone had any closing comments. He called on me (who calls on a 3 year old?) and I said "I want to say that parents really hurt their kids feelings when they hit them and I don't think they should do it."

The conductor coughed a couple times then said "Thank you, all parents should keep that in mind." and my parents never spoke of it except years later, when for some reason they thought it was funny. I remember they stopped hitting me about the time my younger brother was born, most of it was when I was very little. Funny, out of several kids I was the only one they would hit.

I have never, ever hit my child, nor do I want to. It doesn't do any good and it changes who they are and how they feel about you, forever.

still I hear stories of kids being hospitalized or beaten to death and I know I got off lucky. I remember one kid who would get dragged to the back of the hall by his ear. He never forgot that.

He committed suicide a couple years ago after being df'd. I still think of him all the time...

essie

(I still look at baby pictures and wonders what I could have done back then to make them so angry...then realize it wasn't me who was the problem :(

71

Ooops..Oh Harry..Not A Good Move.

by Englishman in

jw
friends

prince harry, number 2 in-line to the the throne, has dropped a bit of a bollock: .

probably not the best way for a prince to go to a fancy dress party... good grief!

is he smoking a ciggie too?

Fleur

Yikes, he blew it on that one big time.

I can't imagine that his mother would have been pleased!

14

Blood Fractions and Your Conscience

by FairMind in

for arguments sake lets assume that the wts teachings that the bibles prohibition against blood is valid with regard to accepting a transfusion.

jws are now being told that while they cannot accept whole blood or whole blood components such as red blood cells, white blood cells and blood plasma, they can if their conscience permits accept blood fractions.

i have thought quite a bit about how and why the accepting of some blood fractions and not others is supposedly a conscience matter.

Fleur

I think, Gill, what the real problem is that the WTS does not provide specific explanations or sources of information as to what these products are and how they are made. Have you seen Hemopure and any other product name used in the WT publications. Even the HLCs do not provide information to the rank and file but refer you to your doctor for the specifics on these products and their safety.
I mentioned to several active JWs that hemoglobin-based products were made out of out-dated, stored blood showing them the URLs of the companies who made them. They were appalled as they did not feel using stored blood this way was right and couldn't understand how the WTS could allow them. The WTS purposesly clouds the details.

YES; they definitely do Blondie. My mother was horrified when she did some looking into these fraction products and found out that some were made of outdated blood. She says that she believes that there are apostates who have snuck into the organization and are trying to deliberately mislead god's people. My father, taking a more stoic approach, says "It's all about legalities." He doesn't buy into everything that the organization does, never did. I think the only reason he never outright left and has just faded is because of my mother. He still believes though that any blood products break the law of god.

They know that they can't come out and tell people forthrightly where the fractions come from. They're counting on the blind obediance of the rank and file. If they said "you can't take the blood but you can take things made from the blood once it's too old to transfuse" can you imagine what would happen? The only sound left besides the speaker's voice in the Hall would be crickets chirping outside.

essie

98

Awake Moving To Monthly Publishing

by Valis in

i just recieved this note from one of our faithful and discreet slaves... keep an eye out for the march 2005 km.

word is that the awake will only be published once a month starting in january 2006.. sincerely,.

district overbeer.

Fleur

I guess they have finally run out of ways to tell teenagers not to masturbate LOL

Oh, what will become of JW youth without Young People Ask, or with only half of it? Maybe they'll double up and take out the meaningless nature articles that never have anything to do with anything..."The antelope and you...and why you should be like Antelopes who don't abuse themselves..." now there's an article for ya.

essie

14

Blood Fractions and Your Conscience

by FairMind in

for arguments sake lets assume that the wts teachings that the bibles prohibition against blood is valid with regard to accepting a transfusion.

jws are now being told that while they cannot accept whole blood or whole blood components such as red blood cells, white blood cells and blood plasma, they can if their conscience permits accept blood fractions.

i have thought quite a bit about how and why the accepting of some blood fractions and not others is supposedly a conscience matter.

Fleur

However my question is regarding blood fractions. In my opinion a person whose conscience allows them to accept even one blood fraction should conscientiously be able to accept all of them. What from a conscience perspective makes one blood fraction any different from the rest of them? Is there something I?m missing here?

I call it the salad syndrome. How much lettuce has to go in before you call it a salad? Are just the inner leaves of the head of lettuce acceptable, or is eating the outside leaves okay as long as you skip the middle, or are you just supposed to skip produce all together? Can you eat all the componants as long as they're served in seperate bowls?

I know that a lot of 'old school' jw's are having issues with this whole thing. My parents are refusing to fill out the new paperwork, mom said that it was confusing and allowed too much room for error in her opinion...she also said that if "you pour it on the ground and cover it with dust, you aren't going to divide it into fractions first." dad says he thinks it's legal manuevering.

I think the GB don't even realize yet how many people are very upset with all this.

I can't answer why a person's conscience would allow them to take one and not another...I guess the GB guys are just trying to cover their butts legally while appearing to still uphold the ban on blood that they say the Bible demands.

~essie

28

It's Official - Yoga is EVIL!

by Incense_and_Peppermints in

yoga?just an exercise or something more?

can yoga be practiced without any religious overtones?

is yoga suitable for christians?

Fleur

Yep, had my own discussion about yoga with dub relatives a couple years back. Fear based and as others said, all that freedom of mind might help wake people up to realize that nothing that the jw's teach makes sense.

now my only problem with yoga is finding time to do it...

oooooooooooommmmmmmm.........

128

My daughter has a brain tumor :(

by outnfree in

i am so terrified!.

#2 daughter came home from college on 12/18 with a violent headache, nausea, neck pain and great fatigue.

we took her to the dr. on the 20 and again on the 21st as she had kept nothing down for 3 days.

Fleur

((((((((Brenda))))))))) and ((((((((((Lena)))))))))))) I am so hoping that everything will work out fine...thank you so much for the update.

will keep you in my thoughts!

essie