if gf throws an ultimatum, what should one do? scary question........

by Buck 32 Replies latest jw friends

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  Buck

  if your very serious about a girl and youve been going out for over a year, but she is waiting on you to get baptized before marriage. what should you do?

  its too hard to leave.

  but there are questions I have that i dont even think there are answers too. At least not JW approved answers.
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  JustTickledPink

  Let's start with the questions. Give us some of them.

  About the relationship, if she truly loves you, then there shouldn't be CONDITIONS on your beliefs. Youre relationship with God is your private business. Your beliefs (as long as they don't harm anyone else) should be yours and yours alone. You need someone that is going to love your UNconditionally.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Getting baptized as a JW is not like getting baptized as, say a Baptist or other denomination. It's very, very serious life altering decision. So is the decision to marry. It sounds to me like you should not be pushing or pushed to do either.

  You better get answers to your questions now, before you get baptized. If you question JWs afterwards, you will be branded an apostate and thrown out. What do you think that will do to your relationship with this girl? It will turn into a heartbreaking nightmare. The dilemma you're in now is only a small preview of the mess you will create by rushing to baptism in order to get married.
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  LittleToe

  Run like blazes...
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  Goldminer

  Turn your back and walk...away.
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  jgnat

  My daughter always asks ticklish questions like this too. You want your girlfriend, you don't want her religion. She won't take you if you won't take her religion. You want both.

  1. Take the religion, and spend your life and forcing your personality in to a mold that does not fit. Take that route, and I predict misery within five years.
  2. Don't take the religion, call your girlfriend's bluff, and risk losing her. She leaves you. You have a nice long cry about it in your beer. She has a nice long cry about it with her girlfriends. She risks remaining a spinster, or picking a pale pimply-faced baptized elder's son for her life-partner. You might just recover and find someone whose interests are more in line with yours.
  3. Don't take the religion, call your girlfriend's bluff, she caves. Live in sin. She gets disfellowshipped. Her parents won't talk to you. She has a good cry over losing her family. None her family attend your wedding. You live a moderately happy life together.

  Tough call, but you gotta make it. Be prepared to live with your choices. That's it, life doesn't get any simpler than this. Simple, yes, tough, yes. My best wishes for you and your choice.
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  Elsewhere

  if your very serious about a girl and youve been going out for over a year, but she is waiting on you to get baptized before marriage. what should you do?

  Tell her that you would love to marry her, but first she needs to become baptized as a Catholic.
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  franklin J

  in my opinion, issuing an ultimatum ( in any situation) is a symptom if underlying "issues".

  I would very politely ( remember ; always a gentleman) give the young lady her WALKING PAPERS and move on with my life.
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  iiz2cool

  I would NEVER give in to an ultimatum from anyone, for any reason.
  
  Walter
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  upside/down

  Run Forrest Run......