Odrade, your letter to your dad was very intelligent and direct. It was good. Back in January of 2011 I had what I have decided was my fatal conversation with my dad. He had been communicating with me again over about a 5 year period (while separated from his wife, my stepmother) and although I tried to never bring up the religion he was always one to 'get into it' with me. So, I called him that January day to ask if he might talk to my daughter and maybe help her to see that she didn't have to totally cut me off. My daughter had given birth the year before to my first grandchild and I wanted at least to see him a little... My father refused to get involved but then asked me why I 'hated' the organization so much.
Boy, where to begin?
The whole shunning aspect for one but I also took him on a little journey back in time to the Rutherford era and brought it up to the present with pedophile issue, hypocracy of UN membership and the real estate investment and 'include Watchtower in your will' money grab stuff....and more.
I was pretty thorough.
We agreed to disagree in the end but a month later he was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer. Even so, he asked for me to come out to see him. In the meantime he got back with my stepmother and within a week and under her pressure and shoving JW material on evil apostates under his nose by the time I made the trip down to see him I was no longer welcome on his doorstep. I had flown down on a one way ticket because I didn't know how long he would last and I stayed for 6 weeks never getting to see or speak to him once.
I must say, a part of me regrets being so honest and direct with him. I didn't know he would be dead within the year. Everybodies situation is different and with JW's there are no easy ways to deal with them. I now live with a degree of guilt that I pulled his rug out from under him at such a vulnerable time but I also felt a lot of anger towards him for leaving without saying goodby...no closure on that one.
i hope you feel a lot more peace than I have and you should. Your approach was totally appropriate to your family situation.