New here and having ah ha moments!

Angus Beef

What made you realize it was time to go? I'm venting~!

I've been having health problems for the last few years and instead of any help, I'm listed as spiritually weak and of course associations is only my kids and husband. All the good JW's have moved to other congregations and are doing well. but what is left here is the good ol boys or peacocks. We have the uterus club, only a select few women who go out in service together and will find excuses for you not to join, our car is small, we have studies and I can only take my friend (who loves to kill time like I do)... It's an on going list that seems similar to ones I've read here. I never wanted to read apostate, and I apologize for the term, but I only looked up the question on why my husband got shamed by an elder for coming back from vacation with a goatee... hubby wore it for a few months and it stired up dookie at the KH. He finally gave in and shaved... but brother bi-polar can wear a soul patch and carry the mics. Is it just who you know, why yes! One family shows up maybe twice a year and people flock to say hello to them like crazy...but I miss a few Thursday nights and we get scouls from the elders. I'm tired of the double standards. I've known of situations that should have been reported to the police, and don't understand why the elders leave it up to the individuals to report but also give the suggestion that it's been taken care of by the JC there fore it's not reported because who would report a brother!

I can't walk out, I have a two grand children who I'd never see again if my daughter knew how I felt. I've seen others mention they stay for their families. How do you fake it? I'm willing to turn in false time to get the elders off my back, I don't think my eternal life is based on average numbers. It should be in how we live our lives in a christ-like manner. Don't even let me get started on the hooker heels the sisters wear and no one says a thing!

How do I go back this week and not let the elders figure me out! How can you fake it? I've been off TMS for a while and they seem to keep giving me talks. Hubby has asked to be off and he still gets his little papers stuck in his face by the young autistic boy who wouldn't understand you telling him no. I'm tired of watching this all happen and why it took so long for me to see it now. When I first started studing I prayed to God not to let me get involved with a false religion, I don't know what happened there! 20 something years ago!

I know I've got questions that can't all be answered, I just had to get some things off my chest, and I've got more thoughts than Ive got time for this morning. any thoughts would be appreciated.

Londo111

Welcome! You are in a place that understands.

Take this opportunity to start doing indepth research, perhaps start by giving a look at http://jwfacts.com/

chicken little

Welcome Angus Beef (nice steaks!)

You have taken a big step just to come on here. I was shaking and so nervous the first time I looked at this site some six years ago. I was a born in and was in the religion 47 years. I would make a suggestion that may give you space. Everytime someone asks you a question at the khall or over the phone relating to your spirituality, ALWAYS say," You know what bro/sis, I am taking this matter to Jehovah in prayer every day and I am sure he will help me to find the right way to go".

My experience has been that they cannot argue with the "Jehovah" card you pull out each time. Mention that you have much mental turmoil but that you are relying on him to help you and if you are not at meetings it is because you just cannot possibly make it, but Jehovah is supporting you.

If you stop going to meetings, keep repeating this mantra to anyone who calls (in my experience nobody does).

Hope to hear more from you in the future.

Kind regards

Chicken little

AnnOMaly

Welcome!

I've been off TMS for a while and they seem to keep giving me talks. Hubby has asked to be off and he still gets his little papers stuck in his face by the young autistic boy who wouldn't understand you telling him no.

Interesting. Next time you or hubby get a talk slip, smile and thank the young autistic boy, head straight for the School Overseer and say, "There's been a mistake. You know I am taking a break from the TMS at the moment. I thought I would give this slip back to you right away so you have time to assign somebody else [smile]."

If you get another slip in a few weeks, repeat. If you still get the slips after that, ignore them and just don't show up to the meeting that night. They'll soon stop giving them to you.

Witness My Fury

I know I've got questions that can't all be answered, I just had to get some things off my chest,...

Well that just reminds me of the quote:

Better to have questions you can't answer, than answers you can't question.

KateWild

AB, You want to know how to fake it. Well chicken little has given you good advice on how to kep them off your back with regard to spiritual things. So you can but time to figure the best way to fake it.

I can give you my experience, I did not fake a thing, as one poster says, it involves too much mental gymnastics. But if you are good at it why not. You have to tread carefully arounds your kids and grandkids. They are your world, talk to your daughter about the most challenging things in the cong for her.

My adult daughter surprised me and we left together. She had a stack of issues, once the flood gate open that's it then. Your daughter may surprise you too. Be there for her and get her to confide in you.

Welcome and thanks for your story

Love Kate xx

The Searcher

Welcome, ANGUS BEEF - CHICKEN LITTLE said it straight!! Just tell the Rottweilers that you are having to deal with anxieties that you couldn't discuss with anyone - except Jehovah in prayer - and thank them for their concern. They'll get sick of wasting their time trying to goad you, and give up!

I'm still in, and make my my own rules as to how to play their game. I know it cheeses them off, and it makes me smile inside!

Just prepare your heart and mind, ready to give them a conversation stopping answer which tells them "Thanks, but no thanks!".

It's all about their control over you - take it away from them and they'll just ignore you!

jgnat

Non-JW married to a Witness, here. I attend a meeting on occassion. I suggest a blank notebook where you can write your independent thoughts during the service. It's a sanity-maker. Have some zippy responses ready for the nosy:

Do you really want to know?
That would take a couple hours to explain. Want to meet for coffee?
That is a question really between me and Jehovah.
Thank you for your concern.

Practice in front of the mirror - shoulders back, head high, confident smile, direct eye contact.

Nearly everyone on the planet is yearning to be heard. After a zippy comeback, ask how they are doing. Ask after their favorite hobby, their snappy outfit, their last vacation, the weather, anything non-Witness related.

jgnat

Oh, and come here to vent.

Gayle

Welcome here this site! What a dilemma to leave the WT world, many are stuck in your position. Spend your time with your grandchildren as much as possible. They are your ministry! Speak in 'unconditional love' ways to them. Very important, to not contradict the WT and your daughter. But express your love them 'no matter what always' (they will not hear such talk in KH). Help them to be interested in all the positive things in life, the now & today everythings. Maybe try to do special things with them on their school vacations, during holidays and birthdays times, (maybe not on the immediate days) but special 'fun' things around those times. So they have good memories of special times with grandma. They will know the difference between those times, as JW special days are no memories at all but are only a blur for them.

Celebrating the 'seasons,' not specific holidays. Getting together and making cookies, is a gingerbread house with graham crackers and candies pagan? Make a snowman, etc. Can a subtle way to make seasonal (winter, spring, summer, fall) keepsakes, pictures or things collectible for them (you keep till they are grown). Make grandma's house a 'wonderland' for them. Build a fun 'philosophy' wall. Plaques, some serious, some lighter. "Love, Joy, Peace" Serenity Prayer. "Whatever!"

You can be hopeful, but it will call for such patience. It will call for you to have and show more joy of 'this' life as you turn your back from the depressing life of JW life.

So many best wishes to you!

New here and having ah ha moments!

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