I have read through all 4 pages of this thread. The fact that it has accumulated 4 pages in such a short period of time speaks loudly that this is a very common problem for a lot of us.
With the advent of all the electronic means of communication, texting and such has become the preferred way of communication and although I love the new technologies, it sure has allowed our JW families to 'hit and run' at times with this emotional blackmail stuff.
I'm glad that your family member is still communicating with you and hopefully you will be able to take the high road and show through your own life and conduct how real family love is shown.
The one thing that I have found that makes it so hard to respond to JW family and friends is their fall back on the name of Jehovah. The initial letter you received had a few points I noted but the first and most conversation stopping point was:
"the most important part of that was teaching you the truth about Jehovah"
I would personally love to be able to challenge that statement with documentation from people who've devoted their lives to studying ancient peoples and their religions as well as the translating of books like the Bible...........actual scholars........people with more than a high school level of education. How many of the current (or even past) members of the governing body have educations that would qualify them to teach 'the truth about Jehovah"?
None, I dare say.
That poor lady taught you all what a Bible publishing agency told her to teach............not truth. Jehovah is their corporate logo for all intents and purposes.
I still believe that there is a higher power out there but I don't for one moment believe it is the angry, psychopathic god of the ancient Israelites, Jehovah. If that god was put through a battery of psychological test I'm quite sure he'd come out as a very 'mentally diseased' god!
Then there is the problem JW's have with equating in their minds that Jehovah=Watchtower=governing body=their own personal identity. To say anything against JEHOVAH just blows them completely apart. Someone here has an avatar from the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"
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Such an apt depiction of a JW's reaction to saying anything even slightly against their precious god.
I learned that the very hard way.
Good luck with your family and congrats on your wife's degree. Well done!