Wow!
Thank you for your story. It takes me back to where my mind was when I really wanted to believe that it was the "truth" but the doubts kept piling up.
Like you, I had a lot of "what if they are wrong" thoughts for years. That, and the yes men and power seeking men I served with as an elder made me resign as an elder in 1991. It took another decade for me to thoroughly be convinced that I could not be a JW anymore.
Now we are free and all we can do is be here for those still floundering in the sea of mistruths. Hopefully, they can one day be totally free also. My heart goes out to all who have to compromise because of family that are blindly believing.
I salute you AAG.
HappyDad