Talesin,
Please may I say a couple of things, as an old bloke, in the 'truth' but very hurt by the things that affect you and too many others.
You have handled your mum very well, even if you got grumpy with her, but if you had to answer to the Creator as to your loyalty, respect and love of your mum, it seems for sure that you have succeeded very well in that area. I have lost my mum who loved 'the truth' and would growl at me if I said anything aganist the WTS, even Russell's pyramid fancifuls, she was just a loving person and saw no wrong in anyone. Is your mum the same? I hope so, usually those who have been 'in the truth' for years are lovely humans. Usually.
So why don't you just relax, God is the judge, we answer only to him in the long run, and the more you can calmly talk with mum the better, for her and you. Remember, our parents will lose their lives before us, and how nice it is for them to feel good about their 'kids'....
By the way, I acknowledge your summaries as real and true. The only simple answer as I see it, is that the final judge is Jesus and there has to be a united worldwide group to preach the good news of the kingdom in all nations, not learning war any more, and trying to be a loving and united brotherhood, no better or worse than either the early congregations who had every page of the scriptures counselling them, or the Rev.chapters 2-3 congregations, belonging to Jesus, but not real good either! Just like jw's of today!
Out of a standard of 1 to 100, for humanity and love, where do you and I fit? Me.........??????
My best thoughts,
gdt geoff.