Experiment:
dorayakii
JoinedPosts by dorayakii
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19
Here's the script for the Korah, Dathan, Abiram drama
by Bonnie_Clyde inbrother loyal: well, .
brother loyal: what do you mean?.
brother loyal: well, the watchtower.. .
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70
What is you (or somebodies) best blooper in the KH?
by DannyBloem infor example: we had a 'faithfull' brother getting older and confused.
when something did not really went as he liked it (didn't get the answer etc) he shouted very loudly 'god doom me in the hell!
one time i had to do the closing prayer on the midweek meeting.
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dorayakii
One of my all time favourites was when one of our elders was giving an explanation of Balaam and the talking donkey. (Bet you know whats coming already, LOL!)
With his mixed up Barbados/British accent, and his obvious misunderstanding of the word "ass" in this context, this elderly elder kept on pronouncing the word like "arse".
"Baalam began to strike the arse with his staff in order to turn it away from the road"...
"The arse began to squeeze Balaam's foot against the wall"...
"Balaam went on beating the arse some more"...
"Finally, Jehovah opened the mouth of the arse and it began to speak"...
The kids were smirking and the adults were avoiding eye contact, but eventually, as the brother kept on repeating these fine details over and over again, decorum in the Hall began to deteriorate. I had tears rolling down my cheeks trying to keep from laughing. Eventually, the brother uttered the magic words: "so brothers, what significance does this talking arse have for our day?"
6 or 7 people, including myself just lost it, and went out into the entrance hall in hysterics.
After that meeting, i heard some diehard humourless elderly ones comment that "Jehovah's spirit really did seem to leave that meeting". They obviously either didn't understand the joke, or were so stuck up their own donkeys to find it funny. -
102
What's Your Favorite JW Expressions?
by minimus ini like "theocratic strategy", "new light", "the slave", and "lovers of truth"......anything that you find amusing?
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dorayakii
WHOLESOME and UPBUILDING
"wholesome and upbuilding association"
"upbuilding spiritual food"
"wholesome respect for Jehovah's organization"
"upbuiling activities and wholesome entertainment"
"wholesome fear of God"
"profound reverence for God, coupled with a wholesome dread of displeasing him"
"bear fine, wholesome fruitage" -
69
Honestly, do you think that JW's really like going to 3 or 4day assemblies?
by JH in.
honestly, do you think that jw's really like going to 3 or 4 day assemblies, especially when it's out of town, far away, and you have to take a motel room, and all the gas money and food money it takes, as well as having to sit down all day listening to endless talks...and that for 3 or 4 days in a row.. and often, they have to take a day off from work, to attend the friday meeting, so no pay for that day.. i think that the jw's are glad when it's finally over, not before.. .
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dorayakii
I have a distant memory of a "Jezebel" drama, although i can't remember what year it was, i was quite young. At Crystal Palace Stadium, London, they had a curious wooden construction to represent the window frame of Jezebel's bed-chamber. I remember the scream of horror as Jezebel was pushed 2-feet to her death, then had her "fleshy parts" eaten by invisible ravaging dogs.
I remember the drama about Esau and Jacob, where the brother that played Esau came onto the green with these HUGE (only god knows what the hell they were) thick, black carpet-like things stuck to his arms. I remember giggling so hard that i had tears streaming down my face. I noticed that no one else was laughing, which made me laugh even harder.
And finally, i remember last years Convention at Cardiff Millenium Stadium where the sister playing the "demon-possesed girl of Philipi" danced around like an African voodoo dancer. I laughed so hard... and the icing on the cake was the demon-girl's voice which ironically resembled the Borg Collective, a thousand demons talking in unison.
I also attended the Sunday morning session of the Convention back home at London in Twickenham Stadium (just to see the drama again) but the demon-girl only did a boring zombie walk... the Borg voice was still a treat though. -
53
WTS says its statistics are better!
by ozziepost inon jw-media, the official wt sitre, this is how the boys in crooklyn are describing thier membership figures:.
attendance at the annual memorial of christ's death.
16,760,607. total volunteer hours spent in public bible educational work.
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dorayakii
the Watchtower Society [...] might employ this use of numbers to justify their statistics
One elder I know uses Proverbs 25:25 to justify both field service and accounts reports: "As cold water upon a tired soul, so is a good report from a distant land."
It is sooo refreshing to hear that we have "two thousand, three hundred and forty two pounds and 24 pence" in our congregation bank account... *refreshed sigh* -
22
The EU and WTS prophecy
by dorayakii inthe european union does not exist on the american political landscape.
at a time when many foreign-policy experts are looking toward a multipolar world with the eu and china as two of the important poles, when foreign-policy issues are more important in the u.s. presidential election than at any time in recent memory, george w. bush has not even mentioned the eu in any speech given in 2004. not once.
(http://www.iht.com/articles/2004/10/18/news/edslaughter.html) .
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dorayakii
I agree with a lot, but not all, of what you're saying proplog2. The Soviet Union is dead. Democratic Russia in fact now celebrates the 24th of August 1991 as its independance day FROM the Soviet Union. I dont think the Russian Federation would even think of trying to restart the Soviet regime and take back its former satellite states. In fact 3 of those states are now in the European Union and some of the others are applying for admittance in the near future. Russia would fare badly if it tried to go up against the EU's economic might.
National identities in the EU do take precedent and always will. This is because of the historical factors involved (past and present conflict) and because of esoteric cultural identities (language for example); but having lived in France for some time and also having close friends in Slovakia, i really do sence a growing "European" identity, especially from young people such as students who travel around Europe for their education... The proposed adoption of a single European foreign policy, permanent President, European Army and a revived Constitution will only add to the merging effects that have already resulted from the single currency (Euro), the flag, national anthem (Ode to Joy), Internet country code (".eu" effective this year), motto, ambassador and abolition of national borders (Schengen Agreement). Here in France, wherever the French flag is flown, on government or non-government buildings the European flag is flown with equal status. The European identity is strongly percieved especially in the newer, eastern member states. The EU is not a country, it is a primarily economic and political union, so it seems that the citizens themselves would be less likely to express their nationality in its terms. However, it does seem that a palpable "Europe-as-opposed-to-America" trend seems to be setting in, although it may not be going as far as Winston Churchill's famous "United States of Europe" warning.
The CIA World Factbook says: The evolution of the European Union from a regional economic agreement among six neighboring states in 1951 to today's supranational organization of 25 countries across the European continent stands as an unprecedented phenomenon in the annals of history[...]it has many of the attributes associated with independent nations: its own flag, anthem, founding date, and currency, as well as an incipient common foreign and security policy in its dealings with other nations. In the future, many of these nation-like characteristics are likely to be expanded. Thus, inclusion of basic intelligence on the EU has been deemed appropriate as a new, separate entity in The World Factbook. However, because of the EU's special status, this description is placed after the regular country entries.
The world is a different place to how it was 20 or even 10 years ago, it is also a less predictable place. This is why i sence the Watchtower's increasing reluctance to commit itself to a solid theory on the King of the North debate. -
102
What's Your Favorite JW Expressions?
by minimus ini like "theocratic strategy", "new light", "the slave", and "lovers of truth"......anything that you find amusing?
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dorayakii
"Go to the ant you lazy one" - (aka. GET OUT OF YOUR BED AND COME ON THE MINISTRY!!)
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"Jehovah's people are a clean people" - (aka. GO TIDY YOUR ROOM, NOW!!)
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DAD - "That it may go well with you and you may endure......???"
ME - "HUFFFF!!...... A long time on the earth" -
102
What's Your Favorite JW Expressions?
by minimus ini like "theocratic strategy", "new light", "the slave", and "lovers of truth"......anything that you find amusing?
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dorayakii
Some childhood related ones here:
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YOUNG Ruth / YOUNG Samuel / the YOUNG Isrealite girl / YOUNG David / YOUNG Timothy
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"Foolishness is tied up in the heart of a boy, the rod of discipline will remove it far from him"
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"This is is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"
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"I'm doing this because i love you"
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"Children, be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous"
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"Bad associations spoil useful habits"
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"Remember, now, your Grand Creator in the days of your young manhood"
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"Oh IF ONLY you would pay attention to his commandments" -
102
What's Your Favorite JW Expressions?
by minimus ini like "theocratic strategy", "new light", "the slave", and "lovers of truth"......anything that you find amusing?
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dorayakii
"Let us continue in the distribution of lifesaving literature."
Try throwing a copy of the Watchtower to a drowning man and see how lifesaving it is... -
53
WTS says its statistics are better!
by ozziepost inon jw-media, the official wt sitre, this is how the boys in crooklyn are describing thier membership figures:.
attendance at the annual memorial of christ's death.
16,760,607. total volunteer hours spent in public bible educational work.
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dorayakii
The entire Witness thing of "counting time" is a farce... and EVERYONE knows it.
It reminds me of the old Soviet numbers... remeber that... they ALWAY INFLATED everything that could be counted....
"We harvested 1000 billion billion tons of wheat this year!.... but our people are still starving.... it's those damn Capitalists fault... I think they infected all the people with tapeworms..."
That kinda nonsense.....remember?
u/d
Kinda reminds me of a quote from one of my favourite books Nineteen Eighty-Four, by George Orwell (Part 3 Chapter 6)
"The music from the telescreen stopped and a voice took over. Winston raised his head to listen. No bulletins from the front, however. It was merely a brief announcement from the Ministry of Plenty. In the preceding quarter, it appeared, the Tenth ThreeYear Plan’s quota for bootlaces had been overfulfilled by 98 per cent."