My mother? That's a very "problematic" subject.
The word "volatile" comes to mind. It sounds like a word you might use to describe
a combination of chemicals in a chemistry experiment.
Definition
Volatile: liable to change rapidly and unpredictably, especially for the worse.
By growing up around my mom I developed a keen awareness of the sudden changes in her "weather".
The slightest tiny disturbances set her off."
She had a violent temper; no doubt inherited from her father. I grew up in his household along with
my grandmother.
More to the point...Scarlett O'Hara was more predictable than my mother. She had a verbal facility
to take her foes apart like surgical amputations bit by bit.
I got my verbal "skill" from her, I guess you could say.
My Dad seemed to me to be a peaceful, low-key person who would walk the other way rather than fight.
Ironically, I later discovered his side of the family (his Father's) came to America from Finland to AVOID
being conscripted into the Swedish military. I went to prison for the same reason: except JW style :)
I take from my father's words that he could ONLY BE his own man and it was impossible otherwise
to be what other people needed him to be. He wasn't the ideal mate for a woman like my mother.
She was married four times.
I confess that I too have been married four times.
DNA can be a real bastard.
Posts by Terry
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8My Father's Last Words
by Terry infather's last words.
in 1972, i was 25 years old following a strong impulse carrying me 1,500 miles.. i intended to find him - my dad.
he’d left when i was about half a year old.. his home in detroit, michigan had been the first house i lived in at age zero.. i knocked on his door and he answered.
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Terry
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ANTI-DEPRESSANT medication for the last 60 years now proved to be based on poorly supported false theory
by Terry in"the chemical imbalance theory of depression is still put forward by professionals, and the serotonin theory, in particular, has formed the basis of a considerable research effort over the last few decades.
the general public widely believes that depression has been convincingly demonstrated to be the result of serotonin or other chemical abnormalities, and this belief shapes how people understand their moods, leading to a pessimistic outlook on the outcome of depression and negative expectancies about the possibility of self-regulation of mood""read: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m92v7hb0njm2mnvnu6nv0kpnkzloe-_k4crh_wphpti/edit?usp=sharing.
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Terry
.Too much of practically anything imbalances the benefits of whatever we imbibe, swallow, or inject.
Exercising when you don't feel like it says much more about inertia than either the malady or the cure.
Let's be honest with ourselves, if we refuse to get better because we have to "do something" when wedon't feel like it - only external attitude adjustment can jump-start that engine. This is where physicians and therapists fall flat on their faces. Depression is the limbo between hell and ordinary blues and only proactive struggle can stave off years of gray funk.
When I felt really good I MEMORIZED how it felt inside my head. Like Hansel's breadcrumbs, I used that map in my head to find my way back. Otherwise, it's straight to Witch house made of ginger bread for the depressed. -
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ANTI-DEPRESSANT medication for the last 60 years now proved to be based on poorly supported false theory
by Terry in"the chemical imbalance theory of depression is still put forward by professionals, and the serotonin theory, in particular, has formed the basis of a considerable research effort over the last few decades.
the general public widely believes that depression has been convincingly demonstrated to be the result of serotonin or other chemical abnormalities, and this belief shapes how people understand their moods, leading to a pessimistic outlook on the outcome of depression and negative expectancies about the possibility of self-regulation of mood""read: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m92v7hb0njm2mnvnu6nv0kpnkzloe-_k4crh_wphpti/edit?usp=sharing.
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Terry
At one time I experimented with St. John's Wort and only one brand (I don't remember now which one)
seemed (?) to have the effect I needed - but it could well have been a placebo.
I only take a pill/drug if I have a broken tooth and the dentist can't see me for a few days.
I won't take Tylenol because I drink wine and the combination destroys your liver.
Aspirin is as close to a painkiller as I'm willing to go. My tune would undoubtedly change if I sustained a terrible injury and couldn't cope with it.
I've simply been extremely fortunate to be a naturally healthy person. Money can't buy that.
It's a good thing it can't -I HAVE NONE :) -
3
Try this THOUGHT EXPERIMENT ...
by Terry inthought experiment.
the big question inside research into a.i.. (artificial intelligence) is whether the state-of-the-art program.
lamda is .
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Terry
The fundament difference between so-called "Western" Philosophy and Eastern is
Aristotle's Law of Non-Contradiction. Logic is based on it. Rational thinking/logic/non-contradiction
is the First Principle of Scientific methodology along with Falsification.
I'm stating the obvious, of course, we all took Physics and many of us have read the Big Three (Socrates,
Plato, Aristotle).
The koans and Eastern philosophy got left behind as far as Science and Technology are concerned because
well - duh - you can't base a moon landing or Mars rover on contradiction.
This has nothing to do with the point truth-be-known has made (above). Still, an interesting thought
occurred to me: HUMOR is fundamentally an excellent exemplification of inherent human reaction to a contradiction: laughter. When things don't make sense we can't help but laugh. -
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My Father's Last Words
by Terry infather's last words.
in 1972, i was 25 years old following a strong impulse carrying me 1,500 miles.. i intended to find him - my dad.
he’d left when i was about half a year old.. his home in detroit, michigan had been the first house i lived in at age zero.. i knocked on his door and he answered.
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Terry
Father's LAST WORDS
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In 1972, I was 25 years old following a strong impulse carrying me 1,500 miles.
I intended to find him - my Dad. He’d left when I was about half a year old.
His home in Detroit, Michigan had been the first house I lived in at age zero.
I knocked on his door and he answered.
The door opened and --there he was -- this man --He was my father.
“Yeah?”
“Are you Wesley Walstrom?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m Terry Walstrom.”
“Oh? (He offered a stunned chuckle) You have the Walstrom chin—come on in.”
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Later - after all the small talk ...
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I finally had reached the moment when a flesh-and-blood Dad stood in the same room with me and I could inquire about the secrets of the universe.
“Why did you leave me?”
“Your mother wanted to fight. I hated fighting. I didn’t have the heart for fighting. So, I left.”
“I wasn’t worth fighting for?”
The expression on his face was a crucified Jesus.
“Terry-what can I say? The line between possible and impossible we each see differently. It was impossible for me to stay with your mother living with her parents, walking to work for forty cents an hour. Then fight and get up the next day. Impossible.”
“What did you say to me before you went away? My grandfather told me you whispered something.”
He looked me in the eye.
“Such as we are made of, such we be.
We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
To do a great right, do a little wrong.”________________
A DYING LAST WORD
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The last letter I received—no, let me start again!
The only letter I ever received from my father, Wesley Walstrom, arrived in my mailbox over twenty years later.
It was addressed to me in shaky handwriting as might come from a person too ill to write.
I gazed with surprise at the return address. It was my father’s name and the same address where I had stood in 1972 listening to my Dad quoting Shakespeare.
My wife asked aloud, “Aren’t you going to open it?”
I took a deep breath. “No.”
I placed it on the mantle.
My father died within a year.
My Aunt Shirley called me and told me. He had been suffering from a degenerative bone disease for a long time. He was now at peace, she said.
I thanked her but didn’t mention the letter.
Why didn’t I want to open it?
Nothing that man could ever say to me could mean more to me than the last words he had spoken before he hugged me.
Even a warm “I’m sorry” wouldn’t mean anything.
Those two words are words my father never spoke.
He did the possible - not the impossible.
What more can you ask of a man?
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Postlude: Years and years later, after the birth of the Internet, I performed a search
For context and “meaning”...
“We know what we are, but know not what we may be” is a quote that features in Act IV, Scene 5 and is spoken by Ophelia. The quote is commonly cited as an example of madness, as King Claudius interprets it, and as a great example of one of the most important themes of the play—uncertainty.
However, that last line is from the Merchant of Venice and not Hamlet.
That conflation still puzzles me. -
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ANTI-DEPRESSANT medication for the last 60 years now proved to be based on poorly supported false theory
by Terry in"the chemical imbalance theory of depression is still put forward by professionals, and the serotonin theory, in particular, has formed the basis of a considerable research effort over the last few decades.
the general public widely believes that depression has been convincingly demonstrated to be the result of serotonin or other chemical abnormalities, and this belief shapes how people understand their moods, leading to a pessimistic outlook on the outcome of depression and negative expectancies about the possibility of self-regulation of mood""read: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m92v7hb0njm2mnvnu6nv0kpnkzloe-_k4crh_wphpti/edit?usp=sharing.
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Terry
" Everybody’s brain chemistry is different so different drugs work better on different people. "
Brain "anatomy" is unique from person to person as fingerprints differ from person to person.What are the 4 types of brain chemistry?Four main brain chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins, all play a role in how you experience happiness.- Dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter produced by the hypothalamus, a small region of the brain that helps you feel pleasure. ...
- Serotonin. ...
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A complex process occurs whenever you experience a thought or feeling. First, an electric signal in the neuron travels through the axon where molecules bind to receptor sites. A second neuron either accepts or rejects the signal. The first molecule can then take back some of the remaining molecules, a process known as reuptake.
The end result is what makes us experience emotions such as joy, laughter, happiness, sadness, anger, or enthusiasm.
__________________________What are happy chemicals?
Four main brain chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins, all play a role in how you experience happiness.
- Dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter produced by the hypothalamus, a small region of the brain that helps you feel pleasure. It’s an important part in your reward system, meaning the brain releases dopamine when you do things that feel good or pleasurable or when you complete a task. Dopamine also helps with movement and motivation.
- Serotonin. Serotonin is another neurotransmitter produced when you feel satisfaction or importance. It also helps regulate your sleep, appetite and mood. Many anti-depressant medications are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) that help boost levels of serotonin.
- Oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone produced by the hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland that produces feelings of love and connection. Also known as the cuddle hormone, the brain may produce oxytocin during sex or maternal behavior such as childbirth or breastfeeding.
- Endorphins. Endorphins are opioid peptides produced by the hypothalamus and pituitary glands that operate as neurotransmitters. They trigger positive feelings when you do something you enjoy such as having sex, laughing, or exercising. They also stimulate pain relief, which is the same reaction that occurs chemically when taking prescription opioids. The euphoric feeling endorphins produce helps mask pain.
________All it takes is a few simple tasks and basic planning to boost these chemical messengers.
For starters, eat well and incorporate exercise into your diet. A 20-minute workout or a light jog can help stimulate dopamine due to the pleasure you receive from accomplishing a feat. Exercising can also stimulate serotonin and endorphins by causing you to feel satisfied and enjoy the positive results of a workout.
Exercising primarily influences boosting endorphins, but remember to laugh, too.
A simple meditation can help boost serotonin. There are ways to achieve this even without physical activity. Self confidence can go a long way in stimulating serotonin. The feeling of believing in yourself will translate to others respecting you, which ultimately promotes serotonin production.
To boost dopamine, complete simple tasks that make you feel good or set a goal you can easily achieve. The simple fact of even approaching a reward will stimulate these neurotransmitters. This explains why seeing the finish line at the end of a race activates dopamine.
For oxytocin, give someone a compliment. You may not see this as building trust, but communicating with others — even strangers — in social settings can reward you with positive feelings. Being kind also can boost serotonin and dopamine.
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QUESTION:
Can there be a kind of feedback loop at play with depression?
1. Something happens to a person which strikes a blow triggering unhappiness, ill-health, etc.
2. Inactivity results
3. Diet changes
4. Brain chemistry CHANGES
5. Prescription drugs REPLACE the natural mechanism of the body/brain - and atrophy of natural production commences. (What you use develops - what you don't use trophies."
RESULT? Depression worsens and the ability to recover flags into a downward spiral.
IF THERAPY began with dramatic EXERCISE and DIET focus instead of DRUGS -
the "profit motive" of prescribing drugs would be impacted.
CAN WE NOW ASK: Is the Doctor/Pharma alliance (profit motive) contributing to
the outrageous proliferation of Depression among the population??
- We have too little to lose from giving EXERCISE, exposure to sunlight (Vitamin D), and healthy diet
a fair chance to improve Happiness vs. Depression
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3
Try this THOUGHT EXPERIMENT ...
by Terry inthought experiment.
the big question inside research into a.i.. (artificial intelligence) is whether the state-of-the-art program.
lamda is .
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Terry
A woman claiming to be the Grand Duchess Anastasia (only survivor of the Romanov dynasty)
fooled the world for many years until DNA evidence un-masked her personization. (Read article above)
My question: DID SHE BELIEVE HER OWN LIE? And if so: what difference does it / should it make? -
3
Try this THOUGHT EXPERIMENT ...
by Terry inthought experiment.
the big question inside research into a.i.. (artificial intelligence) is whether the state-of-the-art program.
lamda is .
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Terry
THOUGHT EXPERIMENTThe BIG question inside research into A.I.(artificial intelligence) is whether the state-of-the-art programLaMDA isan Elvis impersonationor is Elvis himself? (Language Model for Dialogue Applications)To me, the more important question rests in the verb "IS".What do we really mean by using the word "IS"?Stay with me just one step further, okay?Isn't this the exact same situation as the social question grappling with WHAT IS A WOMAN?Definitions can both clarify and obscure simultaneously.Public identity, private identity, biological identity, legal identity each matter differently in context.EXAMPLEA song is playing on the radio: "Ya ain't nuthin' but a Hound Dog"and somebody asks: "Is that Elvis?"How are you able to answer?Is it merely a case of "It sounds like him - so it IS him?"We see a photo of an Elvis impersonator and we're asked,"Is it Elvis?" Well, it sure does look like him.If I may say so: it matters how we answer.IMPERSONATIONisn't PERSONATIONDo you know what "personation is?""Personation (rather than impersonation) is a primarily-legal term, meaning 'to assume the identity of another person with the intent to deceive. It is often used for the kind of voter fraud where an individual votes in an election, whilst pretending to be a different elector."Let's walk up to the person and ask them what their intention is, shall we?Question: Hey - who are you?Answer: I am Elvis PresleyWell, that didn't help - did it?Question: Are you a Man or a Woman?Answer: (the person replies) Whichever they say is their intention to be (or not) who they say they are.Are we getting closer to the truth here?If a person states their INTENTION to be or not to be somebody or something ...Where does this leave us in our search for Elvis?
Does the estate and finances of Elvis go to any impersonator who claimed to be the King of Rock n Roll?
For sentience in A.I. or
in determining gender?Do we take A.I. at its word?Do we take Elvis impersonator at his word?Do we take Man/Woman at his/her word?IT MAKES IT A DIFFERENCE only when the difference is a matter of genuine IDENTITY.Identity is a precious thing.A sane person faces a jury with a different liability than an insane person for a very good reason:
INTENTION carries personal responsibility.Perhaps the only way out of our confusion is toward determiningthe SANITY of the A.I., the Elvis impersonator, the Man/Woman, eh?Good Luck with that!It is all the exact same question but in different forms, isn't it?It comes down to WHAT IS AT STAKE?Should it matter when we vote if we say we are another person?Yes. What is at stake is a fair election.Should it matter if we claim property, privileges, or rights if we are who we SAY we are?Yes. Obviously.Why are we all grappling with questions of IS-ness, identity,gender, sentience right now?Because humanity has come this far by disambiguation of everything by taxonomy, category, definition, precision, scientific standardization, and ultimately TRUTH ITSELF is at stake.By ignoring the stakes and politicizing A.I. we are in grave dangerof losing humanity to a boomerang of chaotic disintegration and the loss of what it means to be SANE.That's my opinion and your mileage may vary.Which is it - COMEDY or TRAGEDY? It matters becausewe will end up laughing or crying at the end.Unless you are a person who cries at comedyand laughs at tragedy. Then, you have way greaterproblems to grapple with ... -
42
ANTI-DEPRESSANT medication for the last 60 years now proved to be based on poorly supported false theory
by Terry in"the chemical imbalance theory of depression is still put forward by professionals, and the serotonin theory, in particular, has formed the basis of a considerable research effort over the last few decades.
the general public widely believes that depression has been convincingly demonstrated to be the result of serotonin or other chemical abnormalities, and this belief shapes how people understand their moods, leading to a pessimistic outlook on the outcome of depression and negative expectancies about the possibility of self-regulation of mood""read: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m92v7hb0njm2mnvnu6nv0kpnkzloe-_k4crh_wphpti/edit?usp=sharing.
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Terry
The way I read this is that the DIAGNOSIS is faulty BUT the fallout amounts to something else entirely.
A WIDE variety of antidepressants are available, HOWEVER, physicians and psychiatrists have not performed due diligence as to possible alternative therapies and patients go through a long process of taking wrong pills and over-dosing to the point of addiction which leads to circling the drain.
During my divorce, I consulted a therapist who prescribed LIMBATROL. As much as I hate drugs - I tried them.
Sure, the depression went away. BUT - I didn't give a shit about anything. I was the walking dead (except for craving brains.) As a matter of fact, one weekend I slept almost forty hours.
I gave up the pills and rejoiced to have my SELF return. I'll never do that again.
Disgustingly, many of these drugs can't be given up or the separation will kill you.
I turned to running along the beach every evening and got up to six miles a day. That did more for me than pills.
My ex-wife has been on a hypnotic drug, AMBIEN. It is supposed to be a drug that treats insomnia. Ha.
Now she has my son on Ambien and he hallucinates. I truly hate this situation but neither of them will listen
Limbatrol wasn't addictive for me. I absolutely despised not being one hundred percent in control of my own mind.
ALTERNATIVES are out there but therapists are quick to go toward the quick fix instead. Bah humbug. -
42
ANTI-DEPRESSANT medication for the last 60 years now proved to be based on poorly supported false theory
by Terry in"the chemical imbalance theory of depression is still put forward by professionals, and the serotonin theory, in particular, has formed the basis of a considerable research effort over the last few decades.
the general public widely believes that depression has been convincingly demonstrated to be the result of serotonin or other chemical abnormalities, and this belief shapes how people understand their moods, leading to a pessimistic outlook on the outcome of depression and negative expectancies about the possibility of self-regulation of mood""read: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m92v7hb0njm2mnvnu6nv0kpnkzloe-_k4crh_wphpti/edit?usp=sharing.
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Terry
"The chemical imbalance theory of depression is still put forward by professionals, and the serotonin theory, in particular, has formed the basis of a considerable research effort over the last few decades. The general public widely believes that depression has been convincingly demonstrated to be the result of serotonin or other chemical abnormalities, and this belief shapes how people understand their moods, leading to a pessimistic outlook on the outcome of depression and negative expectancies about the possibility of self-regulation of mood"
"
READ: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M92V7HB0njm2mnVNu6NV0kpnKZloe-_K4cRh_wPHptI/edit?usp=sharing
