mamochan13

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Posts by mamochan13

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  96

  My Humble Opinion of This Forum

  by turtleturtle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first off, i love frequenting this forum.

  it has given me the opportunity to truly put jw stuff to the test and i thank everyone for their helpful responses.. however, i have noticed a couple things.. 1) the use of the word "troll" is completely childish.

  this is no different than the name calling used by jws (e.g.

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  mamochan13

  Do.Not.Kiss.The.Monkey

  No.Besa.El.Mono. Es un duende gnomo.

  Warning: monkey may be a relative of sasquatch - lives in the Canadian backwoods.
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  68

  Being Agnostic is depressing me....

  by SkyGreen in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those that dont know my story, basically i "woke up the ttatt" about a year ago, started fading, then went back, now fading again because i just cant stomach it anymore.

  my husband is very supportive, although he's still "in" for now, and trying to be regular with meetings and witnessing, he can see my point of view now, and often notices things in the wt or other publications that are "off".

  the fading thing is hard, sometimes i want to da, but because of the upheaval it would cause my family, im waiting a little while - i guess hoping that my husband will be on the same page at some point, so that we can support eachother.

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  mamochan13

  Sky - I've been through it, too. I would suggest taking lots of time to work it through. Losing your faith and belief system, particularly if it is closely tied with your family and personal identity as JWism is, is traumatic. Depression comes from having your secure faith torn out from underneath your feet.

  For a long while I put faith and personal belief on a shelf because it was too painful to try and sort it out. When I was ready (halfway through university), I began to build a new belief system. I was beginning my masters in psychology and one of our first courses required us to identify our personal belief system as a starting point, on the understanding that we would continue to grow and develop and change. As I studied different philosopies I found myself drawn to existentialism. It wasn't until a few years ago, when my grandchildren started asking profound questions about life and god, that I realized I was actually an atheist agnostic. I'm still in the process of identifying what that actually means to me, personally.

  I don't think our faith/belief system is set in stone either. I would guess that for most of us it's a journey, with many changes and adjustments along the way. The important thing is to learn and grow and never be afraid to challenge what we believe.
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  33

  It all is begging to crumble

  by lostinthought in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been mentally out for about two years now.

  i am in my 30s and i don't live at home, am not married or anything like that.

  i was visiting my mom this past week, i tell you the women has a 6th sense if she weren't a jw shed be a psychic.

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  mamochan13

  Good advice from Flipper. The elders manual says that if you meet with them you are acknowledging their headship over you. So i'd agree that its better not to go to a DFing committee.

  Your mom probably thinks it was an act of love to force you back to the religion. She thinks the elders will be able to save you and did not consider the reality of what happens at a judicial meeting. One thing Flipper did not mention is that if you go along with them, they will demand you break up with your boyfriend.

  REgarding yoiur mom's comment about "having a clean life" - you ARE living a clean life and a normal life for a woman your age and situation. You aren't sleeping around or cheating, you aren't engaging in morally corrupt behaviours. Never let them think you are. You are in a committed relationship, doing what normal people in a relationship do.

  Hoping for the best for you - getting out is worth it.
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  49

  Jehovah's Witness elder clears his conscious

  by BlindersOff1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be2ltdktyhe.

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  mamochan13

  Arboles - perhaps it was not appropriate for Lois to call you a troll, but your response was over the top and I think requires an apology from you.

  Your experience is clearly different than that of many with regard to education. I was encouraged to quit high school and pioneer, one of my friends quit at grade 10 and was accepted to Bethel. School was considered a waste of time. I believe the attitude has changed somewhat, as both my nephews went to university to become nurses and they are all good with their congregation as far as I know. But for many of us, we lost out on our education because of that religion.

  AND marriage at 15 is exactly what my sister did - my mom was thrilled because it was to a JW. No danger that she might date a worldly guy. But her lovely JW husband went on to cheat on her, hurt her, and do his best to screw up their kids. It was unusual if you were NOT married by age 18 among all the JWs I knew.
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  21

  They were out New years morning, I couldn,t believe it.

  by jam in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i,am watching the rose bowl parade, and the wife.

  call me to the front of the house.

  a couple knocking on doors at 10 oclock in the morning.

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  mamochan13

  never, never, and never.

  But then, I always played in a band and had been up all night the night before. No wonder they kicked me out!
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  96

  My Humble Opinion of This Forum

  by turtleturtle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first off, i love frequenting this forum.

  it has given me the opportunity to truly put jw stuff to the test and i thank everyone for their helpful responses.. however, i have noticed a couple things.. 1) the use of the word "troll" is completely childish.

  this is no different than the name calling used by jws (e.g.

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  mamochan13

  Incorrigible...
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  96

  My Humble Opinion of This Forum

  by turtleturtle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first off, i love frequenting this forum.

  it has given me the opportunity to truly put jw stuff to the test and i thank everyone for their helpful responses.. however, i have noticed a couple things.. 1) the use of the word "troll" is completely childish.

  this is no different than the name calling used by jws (e.g.

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  2. 
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  mamochan13

  You guys (and not-so-adorable monkeys) must learn to behave. The OP just wanted to state a humble opinion and you start throwing stuff.

  I did want to highlight a point I particularly agree with, though. CyberJesus: "Here you can say whatever you want to say until the mods decide you cant. Then you can still say it but you wont be able to write it for long. Welcome to the free world of jwn.... Sort of"
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  50

  Need advice from a female

  by CADSkin in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  long story short.

  ive been married for 18 years to my beautiful wife.

  when i was younger i had a lot of attention due to my looks which has always made me extremely uncomfortable.

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  mamochan13

  CADskin - It's great that you are so sensitive to how your wife is feeling. I agree with FHN that setting her up with exercise/gym/fitness may well reinforce the idea that she is somehow less attractive - unless she herself initiates it.

  Here's my perspective, as a psychologist (I think Ballistic was heading that way). I don't know how long ago you quit drinking, but there is a phenomenon related to family systems theory that occurs when dramatic change happens in a relationship. Every aspect of a family relationship is part of a system and tries to work itself into a state of homeostasis, or balance. When something throws that balance off, whether good or bad, every part of the system must adapt. If one member of the family is the "sick" one, every other part of the family adapts to maintain the status quo, good or bad. You were a different person when you were in a band, drinking, ignoring your family. Now you are sober and responsible. Your wife was accustomed to her role managing the family, life, relationships, finances, etc. etc. when you were not there (but there). By becoming sober you've displaced some of that responsibility, and in a way, you've unsettled her. She knew how to manage life when you were drunk. She's less certain how to do it now that you are sober. Her self-confidence has been shaken because you are healthy and well - as bizarre as that might seem. You are no longer the "sick" member, and your wife is struggling to adapt to the new family system.

  The key is finding a new systems balance. Talk to her and ask what you can do to make her feel good about herself again. For a long time she was responsible for you and the kids and managing a home without your support. Perhaps now it's college, or volunteering, or who knows what? But you both need to learn how to work within the parameters of your new relationship. Counselling with a therapist familiar with family systems theory could do wonders.
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  21

  JW.org publishing Urban Legends in their News section

  by Gorbatchov in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  crazy, those fellows at jw.org pr news.

  they publish their urben legends!!

  http://www.jw.org/en/news/by-region/world/saved-from-suicide/.

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  mamochan13

  Would be interesting to read the stories about all the DF'd JWs who are contemplating suicide and have the elders come by to help them get reinstated just in time.
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  15

  Good Jehovah's Witnesses don't miss meetings....a fact every good burglar knows.

  by Balaamsass in

  1. social
  2. current

  good jws follow a strict schedule...in fact it is posted in front of the local kingdom hall !

  every burglar (and stalker) simply needs to note down meeting times, and follow a few attendees home..and then wait till next week........ we were victims, were you ?

  readfield man pleads guilty to robbing homes of jehovah's witnesses while they are at church.

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  mamochan13

  yep. I had my house broken into while I was at a meeting. My ward was home at the time, tho, and they were foiled.