O please...I'm only going by what you've said. You have stated that you were pretty hyped about knowing "the truth" and that you enjoyed a sense of superiority in that "truth"...you got what you wanted from the WTBTS. With everything you've said it sounds like the "relationship" was symbiotic until it started to go downhill with the draft. And even then you felt you could become a "better" JW by studying. And then others weren't up to speed when you came out of prison caused what feelings in you?
I'm sorry, I don't remember...have you ever indicated that, back then, the knowledge you had gained of the WTBTS "truth" humbled you...
love michelle