Emily,
First, Take a deep breath.
There has been very strong suggestions for you on this board to get out of this relationship. Yet you are still in love with this guy.
You are thinking with your emotions, and are not being rational. My suggestion is to make a list of pros and cons about the relationship. BE sure to write this down, instead of just have these thoughts swirling in you head. This will help you to see the relationship for what it trully is.
The posters here are just able to see your situation objectively. I have been in highly dysfunctional relationships in the past, and thought that others were being mean when they spoke out of concern to me. I was the type that had extreme (stupid) loyalty to people that didn't deserve it.
If the relationship didn't work the the first thirty times, the thirty-first is the charm! Please take an accurate inventory of your situation and not fall into that trap.
JK
P.S. Don't give him more money till you figure this out!