belbab

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Posts by belbab

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  14

  Apostate Hall of Fame

  by RunningMan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i would like to take a moment to pay tribute to those giants of apostasy, those pioneers who have paved the way for the rest of us to apostatize in relative comfort and security.

  so, with no further introduction, i present my rendition of: .

  the apostates (kingdom) hall of fame.

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  belbab

  There's a few others from back in the sixties and seventies, before nineteen seventy-five. One for sure is Gary and Heather Botting, who wrote the Orwellian World of Jehovah's Witnesses.

  belbab
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  32

  Kingdom Ministry School for Congregational Elders

  by Kent in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  kingdom ministry school for congregational elders.

  for the 2002 service year .

  hi folks!.

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  belbab

  Hey, Fret Haul,

  It took you all of ten minutes to post, your typing sure is getting slow.

  Belbab
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  16

  SIT DOWN AND BE STILL!

  by TR in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is and excerpt from the 2/22/97 awake!:.

  members of the christian congregation can do much to be of support to both the child with adhd and the parents.

  by being reasonable in their expectations.

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  belbab

  I hope the WT doen't get wind of this one, they will probably put it into practice. I read somewhere that native american indians would teach their infants not to cry by putting their hands over the child's mouths. This would prevent the child from revealing the whereabouts of the tribe, in warfare, if they were in hiding from their enemies.

  belbab
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  3

  Meditations

  by larc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  every time i sit by a babbling brook and meditate on the endless possibilities that life has to offer, the same thought eventually enters my mind.... i really have to pee.

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  belbab

  Larc, there is more to what you say than you may think. If you go sit in a hot desert, with no running water you will not pee. I think there is some animal instinct involved. Running water at hand, ok body let go what you got and get a fresh batch.

  The same with food. When I was younger, and set bait out for traps, an animal seemed to always shit when it saw the food. I feed my dog, and immediately after he barks at the door, he gotta go poo poo.

  I always have to go pee, when I have an interview to go to and I am nervous about it. Fear also causes one to drop excess baggage, pee and number two. We hear the expression, I was scared shitless, it scared the shit right out of me. If you gotta flee or fight, who needs the extra weight.

  If you have to meditate, then do it on an empty stomach and empty bladder.

  belbab
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  2

  NEW LITE! NEW LITE ! NEW LITE!

  by belbab in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all the sons of god have assembled in the heavenly realms before the ancient of days.

  seated on the old ones right is his first born, dressed in white robes.

  on the left, the stubborn one, you know, ole dirt mouth , himself.

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  belbab

  All the sons of God have assembled in the heavenly realms before the Ancient of Days.
  Seated on the OLD ONE’s right is His first born, dressed in white robes. On the left, the Stubborn One, you know, Ole Dirt Mouth , himself.

  Now the OLD ONE has been snoozing for a couple of days and we all know how long that is, don’t we? So when he wakes up, rubbing his eyes a little, he turns to the right and then the left to get his bearings, and then glares out to the vast assembly until total silence prevails. Then he opens his mouth to speak.

  Now when God speaks or does anything it is always in threes, the three times table was always his strong point. He speaks once to get the message across, twice to make sure you really heard it and thrice to hammer it home.

  So he turns to the right and questions, [questions are only required to be asked once] ,

  How my boys doing down in Brooklyn?

  The right answers, We got all the brothers wearing dark suits, ties, and tight jock straps. We got all the sisters to remove their pants and wear their skirts below their knees, and we got all the old ones, bringing in the sheaves in fifteen minute segments , all for the glory of Jah.

  The Old One muses a little and grunts three times and then he turns to the left jerks his head up three times signalling O.K speak up man.

  So the Red One, speaks, We got quite a few of the brudders, fondling genitalia and partaking a little of the sheep. We have the young ones playing touchy-feely and gettin their education out behind the kingdom halls. And best yet, we got GB clandestinely getting laid in the hallways of the library of the Scarlet Coloured Beast. Sorry for that, he says with a wry smile on his face.

  The OLD ONE clears his throat three times and says, I need three messengers to deliver a message to Brooklyn., pointing his finger towards the crowd and saying, You, You, and You.

  The three eagerly jump forward. He whispers into the ear of the first, who nods his head and walks away, a smile on his face. Likewise with the second, also the same with the third.

  Down in Brooklyn, all the brass, and the cymbals and the choirmasters, including the legal eagles and beagles, were in assembly, feasting on roasted apostates, drinking the bubbly and munching the cheese and crackers. Suddenly an eerie hand appears out of nowhere and writes on the wall. ELITE The assembly is startled at first. then burst out clapping. Another hand appears, and a second word appears,
  DISCREET And then the third hand shows up and the word is displayed COMPLETE . Wild cheers, clapping, whistling and back slapping break out.
  The writing department is called in to record the event, and a report is printed up in sixty billion magazines and quickly sent to 643 countries world wide.

  Now the three messenger appear again before the OLD ONE and he listens to their report. Thunder rolls across the heavens, lightening flashes, then in a loud voice is heard,

  YOU BLEW IT! YOU BLEW! YOU BLEW IT!

  THE WHISPERS WERE: delete! delete! delete!

  So the heavens were at loss as to what to do. Until one smart ass spoke up and said, timidly,

  post the information on Jehovah’s Witnesses Discussion Board, and everything will turn out O.K.

  So here it is folks.
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  6

  Quietly singing Praises' to Jah

  by plmkrzy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was reading "remembering" and it made me remember how deflated the air always seems when it comes time to stand and join together in song.. once in a while, depending on the cong.

  i was visiting , someones voice would stand out in the crowd and sound like they were actually singing from their heart.

  i remember the last assembly i attended several months ago, the man sitting next to me stood up to sing and i swear you could hear him over everyone else and there were over 11,000 people in attendance that day.

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  belbab

  I was thinking of this this past night, Singing that is. I was recently reading of a psychology test or relaxation process where part of the process was to hum a tune for a few seconds then count quickly from one to five, and then hum again.

  The explanation for this was that humming was say on the right side of the brain and counting to five was on the other side. The other side being the emotional, artistic, wholistic, side. Then I realized that this is what singing is. Also there is an exercize where the names of colors are in print, but the print color is a different color than what the letters spell out. You are asked to read the words quickly as possible, and it is difficult, because the two sides of your brain are in conflict.

  Now getting back to JW singing, and why is it emotionless? Because it is all left brain, intellectual, all message, words. The music is uninspiring, mechanical, to fit the words. Some of the most beautiful music in the world is religious music. Ava Maria, Handel's Messiah, Amazing Grace. The words are minimal, the music, stupendous, awesome.

  So as some of you are saying, No more one finger piano players, no more inspiring music written by religious people from the past. Canned music, the same songs picked out for all JW meetings world wide. It would be interesting for someone to note what songs are picked for funeral talks if they have them.

  Back quite a few decades ago at my high school graduation, the graduates sang as a choir, the song Jerusalem, Jerusalem, lift up your head and sing...Hosanna, Hosanna Hosanna to your King. I still belt it out once in a while from the bathtub. Twenty years of kingdom songs, I can't remember the tune or words to any of them.

  belbab
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  23

  Are you in the right religion?

  by Stealth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to help choose the right religion for yourself answer 20 questions at the web site below and it will rank the best religions for you.. for myself jw was #6 just under sda and just before mormans.

  i guess i am still brainwashed.

  http://www.selectsmart.com/.

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  belbab

  belbab, surprised the devil right outta me!

  Shikhs 100%

  JWs 58%
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  11

  COW'S BLOOD SUBSITUTE IN BIG TROUBLE AGAIN

  by hawkaw in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i have been warning over and over the hemopure cow's (bovine) blood product made by the company biopure is running into major trouble that seems to be with held by company executives.

  now, their financing is about to go down the tubes.

  think about this folks.

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  belbab

  I hope the WT invested a lot of money in this Hemopure Stuff.

  Whether it is cow's blood or human blood, are they both not prohibited under WT policy
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  1

  Can the WT REVERSE ENGINES

  by belbab in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in canada, back some decades ago when percy jelly-belly chapman was at the helm, before he got to demoted to the woodshed for extra curricular activities, he related to a select group a situation that was quite threatening to the wt society.

  if i remember right, it was something like this.

  a judicial committee had announced publicly and disfellowshiped one of their female members for allegedly committing sexual misdemeanours, and in those days it was the custom to announce specifically and publicly what the specific wrong doing was.

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  belbab

  In Canada, back some decades ago when Percy “Jelly-Belly” Chapman was at the helm, before he got to demoted to the woodshed for extra curricular activities, he related to a select group a situation that was quite threatening to the WT Society.

  If I remember right, it was something like this.

  A judicial committee had announced publicly and disfellowshiped one of their female members for allegedly committing sexual misdemeanours, and in those days it was the custom to announce specifically and publicly what the specific wrong doing was.

  Evidence showed up that she did not commit the announced offence. She started a law suit against the Society for defamation and damages, and according to PC, the Society was in for a huge loss.

  Now on the grapevine, it was reported that the wronged excommunicated sister was very distraught, and heading for a nervous breakdown, and she wished the whole situation had not happened.

  So a servant(s) was sent, not from the original judicial committee, to meet with the sister and the whole thing evaporated and the Society and sister smoothed things out between them.

  Does anyone else know of similar situations where stampeding events were reversed.?

  belbab
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  5

  "GOD SPEAKS"

  by Will Power in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there is a book called "god speaks".

  it is a compilation of billboards that were put up around the usa.

  in 1998 an anonymous donor wanted an ad agency - smith - in fla. $150,00 to create this advertising campaign to reach people who have "drifted".. it's a great coffee table book.. here's a few of my favourites.. (hope its ok to post these).

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  belbab

  Belbab answers:

  IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE........?????