Victor

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Posts by Victor

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  4

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath Part 2

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  approval .

  as children we have a need to bond with our caregivers or parents.

  this bond leads to needing their approval.

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  Victor

  @Jehalapeno yes that is called codependence if you google it there are tons of good content.

  @ Finkelstein yes
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  4

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath Part 2

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  approval .

  as children we have a need to bond with our caregivers or parents.

  this bond leads to needing their approval.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Victor

  Approval

  As children we have a need to bond with our caregivers or parents. This bond leads to needing their approval. This basic human drive is a very powerful motivating force. I've had clients who sought this approval even from deceased parents. JW's belief system cuts off one's emotional intelligence in service of pleasing a very punitive God from the old testament. This fear is drilled into the JW's at every opportunity to exercise control and loyalty to the elders.

  A healthy goal of recovery is to gain self approval. No one can ever control us other than what we surrender. When we learn to be comfortable in our skin and approve of our actions, we rise above the tyranny from being approval addicts.

  
  
• 

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath Part 2

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  approval .

  as children we have a need to bond with our caregivers or parents.

  this bond leads to needing their approval.

• 

  Victor

  Approval

  As children we have a need to bond with our caregivers or parents. This bond leads to needing their approval. This basic human drive is a very powerful motivating force. I've had clients who sought this approval even from deceased parents. JW's belief system cuts off one's emotional intelligence in service of pleasing a very punitive God from the old testament. This fear is drilled into the JW's at every opportunity to exercise control and loyalty to the elders.

  A healthy goal of recovery is to gain self approval. No one can ever control us other than what we surrender. When we learn to be comfortable in our skin and approve of our actions, we rise above the tyranny from being approval addicts.
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  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

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  Victor

  It appears Simon has a software brake to limit posts so here is my commentary on mental illness among JW's

  Disclaimer: This article has some broad generalizations that will have exceptions to what is stated. This is the only way I can even attempt to address the topic. I've looked for scholarly articles published on peer reviewed journals for years. I don't know of any. Years ago, a JW and an apologist for the WTS named Carr wrote a slanted article on mental health in favor of JW's.

  Since JW's are a closed group, there is no way of accurately knowing the degree of mental illness among its members. However, we can look at the symptoms among its members to come up with some educated guesses. I will draw on my experience and admit in advance this is a subjective viewpoint from an experiencer.

  In my last congregation I attended, I witnesses forms of depression from families living in poverty with no prospects of a better future. Continuing education or specialized training for a technical job was forbidden if it interfered with making meetings or field service. This double bind (damn if you do damn if you don't) filled the lives of many members. When husbands (many elders) were emotionally or mentally abusive with their family members, there was no relief. Wives were advised to be submissive pray and leave it in God's hands.

  Since JW's are such a sexually repressive group, issues of infidelity and prohibited sexual acts were rampant. When elders or ministerial servants were the predators, the victims were told to leave it in God's hands.

  Some portion of the demographic were members with existing mental illness pre-conversion. These people clung to the faith as an antidote for their illness fantasizing an idyllic future in the paradise. In my opinion these people's illness was exacerbated from the binds the religion created for them. In our congregation, I head of one lady who was disfellowshipped for sex out of marriage and in her meeting with the elders, she broke down and went into a fetal position crying uncontrollably. She was having an emotional psychotic breakdown.

  One lady I knew in another congregation suffered from bipolar depression. In one of her manic episodes, she sold her house and went to serve where the need was greater. This could have been avoided if she had been encouraged to seek medical and psychological help. When she cycled back to normal, she was broke with no one to turn to for help.

  In my experience, a very large percentage of personal problems among JW members had a psychological explanation that psychotherapy could have solved. This option was strictly forbidden and anyone who turned to professional help was viewed with suspicion.

  Do JW's cause mental illness? Yes, from the hypnotic alternate reality they construct with hypnotic language. When reality clashes with this unrealistic magical thinking mindset, the witness is told he has double down on having more faith and being submissive to the elders.

  VE

  
  
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  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Victor

  Finkelstein you are spot on
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  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Victor

  For some weird reason the platform is buggy and I cannot upload part 2 of this post so I'll just combine it here.

  Approval

  As children we have a need to bond with our caregivers or parents. This bond leads to needing their approval. This basic human drive is a very powerful motivating force. I've had clients who sought this approval even from deceased parents. JW's belief system cuts off one's emotional intelligence in service of pleasing a very punitive God from the old testament. This fear is drilled into the JW's at every opportunity to exercise control and loyalty to the elders.

  A healthy goal of recovery is to gain self approval. No one can ever control us other than what we surrender. When we learn to be comfortable in our skin and approve of our actions, we rise above the tyranny from being approval addicts.

  VE
• 
  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Victor

  truth_be_known, the brain will focus on the path we chart. The negative bias is always at work in the back ground and it will remind us of past painful memories to avoid in the future. Time diminishes the strong pull to the past because the way memories are coded become fuzzy and in black and white. Mindfulness will greatly help anyone to live the present fully aware.

  VE
• 

  EX JW's 12 Steps- Step 3

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we decided to turn our will and our life over to the care of god or our higher power.

  while some turn to religiosity, in my experience most turn to common sense or self determination.

  the construct of a higher power presupposes that there is a force outside of ourselves that has always watched over us and will guide us the mere asking.

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  Victor

  We decided to turn our will and our life over to the care of God or our higher power.

  While some turn to religiosity, in my experience most turn to common sense or self determination. The construct of a higher power presupposes that there is a force outside of ourselves that has always watched over us and will guide us the mere asking. For many, this is a new age abstract belief that is hard to wrap one's mind around. Leaving JW's follows a similar path of full and complete recovery from any addiction. Step 1. Denial, Step 2. Thinking of leaving, 3. Leaving , Step 4. Going back or longing to be back 5. Healing some more to stay one's path.
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  6

  EX JW 12 Steps: Step 1

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  step 1. we admitted we were powerless under a tyrannical man made mindset to which we surrendered our power and self determination.

  our self honesty and need to rescue our sanity led us to fade, walk away, or disfellowship our slave masters.

  jehovah's witnesses are nothing more than a business enterprise set up by, c.t.

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  Victor

  @ Longhairgal it’s voluntary sacrifice to a theology created by societal outcasts. I’m glad to know you never gave up your common sense.
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  14

  What happens to bethel members who get sick?

  by JimmyYoung in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i am sure if you are at bethel and have the flu you just get time or what ever to recover, but what about serious sickness.

  say you get cancer or some possible terminal illness?

  what happens?.

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  Victor

  You are sent home at your family's expense or put out on the street. You are no longer useful and are considered a net loss.