oppgirl63

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Posts by oppgirl63

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  19

  Feeling Discouraged About The Future Of My Marraige

  by 24k in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those of you who may not be familiar with my story, a little history may help clarify my dilemna.

  i was raised as one of jehovah's witnesses, pioneered, became a ministerial servant, married a pioneer, and then became an elder, all before the age of thirty.

  a few years ago, i began to have serious doubts about the teachings and religious system established by the watchtower.

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  oppgirl63

  I've never been a JW and never will be. I can't see how any daughter would think it's okay not to have their father attend their wedding. It blows my mind!
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  22

  New here - question about roommate getting baptized

  by oppgirl63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.. .

  i am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized.

  we are not romantically involved.

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  oppgirl63

  That's what I'm thinking. I don't think they want to take on this responsibility.
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  22

  New here - question about roommate getting baptized

  by oppgirl63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.. .

  i am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized.

  we are not romantically involved.

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  oppgirl63

  I can't either jgnat...but remember she's been studying off and on for 20 yrs. She knows how they operate. We've talked about the 'love bombing they do'. She's fully aware of her field service requirements. I just wonder if they know she's living with me now and let her get baptized, how can they later on threaten her with disfellowshipment (with what they already know now)?
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  36

  For thirty three years we walked the same path...and now he's gone.

  by Gill in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my little friend, is gone.

  for thirty three years we walked, he flew actually and then when too old, he walked, but we walked the same path.

  yesterday morning i found he had died in the night and now....well, now all the sadness is here.

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  oppgirl63

  I am so sorry for your loss. When I have lost a pet in the past...I try to always remember to be thankful for the time I had them. Most of the time I had rather spend time with my dogs rather than people. Their love is unconditional.
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  22

  New here - question about roommate getting baptized

  by oppgirl63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.. .

  i am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized.

  we are not romantically involved.

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  oppgirl63

  This woman is 50 yrs old and she's been to every church under the sun (even been baptised). She says that this is the only place where she's ever felt like she was learning something. The people she is studying with are the presiding overseer of the congregation and his wife. She told me they know I'm not trying to discourage her from doing this (I was at first..but I just gave up). I think some people are just happy being told what to do and how to live. She even made the comment to me that she needed this to "keep herself out of trouble". She's absolutely convinced that she's not going to have to move.
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  22

  New here - question about roommate getting baptized

  by oppgirl63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.. .

  i am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized.

  we are not romantically involved.

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  oppgirl63

  Thanks for the advice....I'll keep you all posted as the baptism gets closer. I think she probably has not been absolutely truthful to the JW's. But I really don't know how they will ever find out unless she tells them. I'm certainly not going to tell them...I could really care less. She's not from this area so there are not really any other people who know about our prior relationship. The next few months should be interesting.
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  22

  New here - question about roommate getting baptized

  by oppgirl63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.. .

  i am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized.

  we are not romantically involved.

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  oppgirl63

  Thanks for all the replies....I love to hear other peoples opinion on this. She and I were in a relationship for about 4 yrs...up until about a year and a half ago (long story). I don't know if she's told them about this or not (probably not). I truely want her to be happy and she really seems to want this. She has been studying with the JW's off and on for about 20 yrs. I think she's always struggled with her sexuality (she thinks it's wrong). She's also has had 2 failed marriages. I just don't want them to let her get to the point of baptism and then tell her she has to move. They need to tell her now rather than later. She cannot financially support herself on her limited income...so I worry for her. I talked to her today about it and she told me again that she's not going anywhere. Time will tell.
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  22

  New here - question about roommate getting baptized

  by oppgirl63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.. .

  i am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized.

  we are not romantically involved.

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  oppgirl63

  Thanks for all the replies...it's nice to have someone to talk to about all this.
  
  Those people know I'm gay and my roommate tells me she has no intention of moving out. We have discussed this and she has every intention of getting baptized at the next assembly after the first of the year. I told her I was concerned that they would put pressure on her to move out. I just wonder if they are going to let her get to the point of baptism (she is almost finished studying whatever book with the head elder and his wife...been going out in service since Sept....and never misses a meeting) and then spring it on her that she has to move. I wish they would tell her that now instead of later.
  
  We are not living together as a 'couple' (no sex). She keeps the house clean and the laundry done (it's nice not to have to do laundry!). We do things together as friends (go to the beach, out to eat, etc.). I'm not currently in a relationship with someone else but I do have other gay friends in my life. I was just wondering what to expect in the next few months leading up to her baptism.
  
  In a way I think she's trying to have her cake and eat it too. She loves living with me. I have a very good job and take care of all the bills and food. I make sure she gets to all her meetings and she's never late....so they can't say I'm trying to stop her from doing this. I guess time will tell how all this plays out.
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  22

  New here - question about roommate getting baptized

  by oppgirl63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.. .

  i am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized.

  we are not romantically involved.

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  oppgirl63

  I have posted this question to JW's on the beliefnet message board and here is what they have told me.
  
  
  bama1963
  11/15/2005 1:12 PM 1 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  11/15/2005 4:56 PM 2 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  
  Even staying overnight unchaperoned with someone known to be gay and nothing physical occurring, could result in her not being to get baptized until she moved or if after she was baptized, being disfellowshipped.
  
  If she looks like she is serious about baptism, perhaps now is a good time to start looking for a new roommate.
  
  Cassie
  
  
  
  
  11/15/2005 8:28 PM 3 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  
  If she's gay, then that would be a different matter.
  
  I'm not sure I've ever seen anything on this, so I could be wrong. I think she should ask an elder or do some research to find out.
  
  
  
  
  11/16/2005 12:41 AM 4 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  
  SummerThyme
  BeliefNet Community Host
  
  
  Messages: 5 - 8 (9 total)
  
  
  bama1963
  11/16/2005 7:58 AM 5 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  11/16/2005 12:20 PM 6 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  
  If I have friends who use drugs and encourage me to do that, they are bad associates.
  
  If I have friends who at one time dedicated their lives to Jehovah and have since turned their back on him and begun to practice sin again, they are bad associates. They are a danger to me, because they could influence me to do the things they are doing.
  
  If your friend doesn't have a weakness for homosexual relationships, (if she sees herself as 100% straight), then you likely are not going to influence her to become gay. If you aren't trying to get her to do other things she shouldn't be doing, like drinking too much or sleeping around or whatever, then it is up to her to decide if you are a bad associate or not.
  
  I have friends who are gay, and I have friends who are not worshippers of Jehovah. I don't hang out with them all the time, but I don't stop liking them just because they don't believe the way I do, and they are not the sort of people who will try and influence me to go against my conscience in anything I do. If they were, they likely wouldn't be my friends. I would consider them bad associations.
  
  That's my way of looking at it anyway. She can ask the elders at her hall if they see it differently. It is still up to her individual conscience whatever they say. They may influence her decisions. They may show her scriptures from the Bible that have some bearing on the subject that maybe I haven't considered. But Jehovah's Witnesses don't just automatically cut off all contact with our friends. We may make some new ones, and we may drift away from old friendships somewhat. OR we may not.
  
  I think it comes down to if you can accept her as she is, and not try and make her be something she is trying to avoid, then you are just a friend, not necessarily a 'bad associate'.
  
  
  
  
  11/16/2005 9:11 PM 7 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  Here is my opinion, and that is all I can give you. we live in a system where rents are very high. Many times, persons have to share a home because of this fact. They may or may not be our friends, share our beliefs, influence our lives. If they do, then of course, we would want to carefully consider how they are affecting our spirituality. I would not think that your sexuality would affect her in any way, other than she may be identified by persons who know you as gay also. This might influence her to not want to continue your rental arrangement.
  When my son went to a large city to be a full time worker for Jehovah,or a pioneer,as we call them,he had to share an apt with another male pioneer. Because the area where they lived was home to many gay couples, he never mentioned to anyone who was not a witness, his living arrangements,in case, they might conclude he was gay.
  If you were not, you might be promiscuouly engaged in intercourse with a man. That would not be any more acceptable to our future young sister.
  You sound like a sincere person who could be a lovely person for her to live with. I think it will be her call and I would be hoping that eventually you would look into the bible, because of her good conduct, and join us in worshipping our great God, Jehovah.
  with affection from Marken
  
  
  
  
  11/17/2005 8:42 AM 8 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SherB
  11/17/2005 10:04 AM 9 out of 9
  
  
  
  
  
  The purpose of these questions are so that a person being baptized will know exactly what we believe, and will not make that committment to become one of us without knowing what they are getting into. It is also so that we will know that they DO believe as we believe.
  
  Normally the matter of who we our friends with is left up to the individual conscience. We may be advised, or counselled, if we seem to be hanging out with people who are doing us spiritual harm, but no one has the right to go further than that unless we are actually committing serious sin. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 lays out what Jehovah considers serious sin.
  
  Notice it doesn't say anything there about who you are friends with, just what activities you yourself are practicing.
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  22

  New here - question about roommate getting baptized

  by oppgirl63 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.. .

  i am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized.

  we are not romantically involved.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  oppgirl63

  I've been lurking on different ex-jw boards for a few years now and this is my first post to this board.
  
  I am a 42 yr old gay female who has a roommate who is studying to be baptized. We are not romantically involved. The people she studies with know about me and our situation. She can't support herself on her own and we have a very good friendship. She can not drive because of seziures so I take her to all her meetings (I just drop her off and pick her up). I think she's planning on getting baptized the first of next year. My question is will they allow her to be baptized as long as she's living with me? Thanks!