I don't think I'll be dealing with ebay anymore after this.
Sorry for your troubles on the bay noni it can happen but don't let it sour you to the whole e-Bay experience. I've bought quiet a few items on eBay and I've always checked out the seller first before I even make a bid no matter how good the buy may seem to me if the seller isn't reputable forget it! I've never been burned for anything and I've gotten some pretty expensive things off eBay too.
What you've been told from 144001 is true and you also need to keep in mind that eBay tracks you as a buyer and sellers rate you as well so you don't want to soil your buyers rep with them either. Do whatever it takes to work out an amicable end to the deal.
As far as shipping they should have insured it and that is a point of dispute for you to put on your feedback with that seller for sure. As a seller you can charge a customer a higher shipping price than the one you actually pay because it's just worked into eBay's shipping like that, but you must abide by what you say in regard to insurance and whatever else the buyer agrees to with shipping upgrades. Some of the seller's sell their stuff cheap and actually make up for the price of it with the shipping break-even kinda thing and it's all fine with eBay and it's fine with the US Postal too.
I hope it all turns out well for you.