Tattoogirl,
So good to hear you asking questions!
How many times a day do you sin? How many times when you sin, you realize you are sinning? These are questions I rarely asked myself as a JW. But ask I did once I was disfellowshipped!
When I was 19, I committed a sin that nobody in my congregation would ever find out about. But it ate at my conscience so badly that I went directly to the elders about it the VERY NEXT DAY! My heart hurt, my mind felt like ton of bricks, my very being was wanting to turn back time. When I went to the elders, I was in tears. I could barely talk. I knew I had sinned and wanted forgiveness for it. They stepped in because I asked them to help me. I wanted them to show me how to turn away from this 'sin' in my life.
Within 30 minutes of the initial meeting, a decision had been made about me. I was to be disfellowshipped. I had committed sin and didn't "look repentant enough". WHAT???? I was stunned. If I wasn't repentant WHY would I have gone to the elders in the first place? I would have tried to hide it! Nobody knew - nobody would know if I had just kept my mouth shut!
The problem with the way the process is constructed is that MEN are utilizing the process. Abusing it is more like it! So to answer your last question anyway...YES! You can be disfellowshipped EVEN IF you are repentant. The ELDERS decide when to step in and how to keep the congregation clean. They will make the decision based on what they claim is "direction from the Holy Spirit", but it is a man-made decision none-the-less. Which can never be perfect.
Take it from my experience and others you'll hear on this board. TURN AND RUN! The JW's say a lot of great things, but it all changes when you become one.
Billygoat
