Posts by lonelysheep

97

Own up time...

by Chalam in

jw
friends

well it looks like this site is a real melting pot, a broad spectrum of views and beliefs.

for sure there are many disaffected ex jws.

so in as few words as possible, preferably not more than one sentence, how would you describe yourself spiritually?

lonelysheep

Secular humanist/atheist/skeptic/peacelover

105

What book are you reading right now?

by Wordly Andre in

jw
friends

i am reading buried alive: the terrifying history of our most primal fear, it's really cool

lonelysheep

God is not Great - How Religion Poisons Everything by Christopher Hitchens

26

Recovery of an Adult Convert (Excluded from Christmas)

by lonelysheep in

jw
friends

on my previous thread, i wrote about reconnecting with my family:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146360/1.ashx.

too little, too late, i sadly admit.. holidays, specifically christmas, were always special for us since we were able to all be together.

lonelysheep

Hortensia:
I've been feeling a lot of rejection lately myself so I know how it sucks.

I'm so sorry, (((H))). Yes, it does suck!

whyizit:
If you have just recently exited the JWs, then they may think you are going through a phase. That you may jump back in at any moment, then attack them later for actually including you in what you previously believed was satanic.

So true. The thing about having left vs. how I was is that I have no clue how they feel due to me intentionally making myself MIA from their lives because they weren't true christians and would/did discourage me from dealing with the jw's at all. I expected to be back in the fold immediately, but I cannot since I did the no-no thing and became a part of the witnesses.

JWs educate their non-JW relatives and friends very well when it comes to these external types of things. You taught them NOT to invite you. They learned the lesson well. Now you need to reteach them to INCLUDE you. Otherwise, they simply won't. Not out of malice, but out of respect. They are trying not to offend you.

The truth, here. It hurts like hell to be loved yet, 'out of sight, out of mind'. It is my fault and I do have to reach out. The connection that I denied myself from feeling but did not get rid of, is now gone from their minds. It's like a person wanting to come back to their first love and the first one has moved on and not even blinked at the thought of the person left in the past.

serendipity:
I think you should ask your brother why you weren't included. Maybe your brother is as clueless as mine used to be, thinking if he mentioned it to you and you wanted to come, you'd invite yourself.

I think I should too, but fear of hearing something really crappy come out of his mouth is preventing me from doing so! My hurdle to overcome this week. =/
Part of me thinks he is just like your brother but because of my putting them off in addition to his ability to be nasty, it is a guess at this point.

Odrade:
Not saying that they are holding a grudge, because they are not. But their traditions do not include us. I suppose if we want them to make room, we are going to have to get up the courage to just push our way in.

That is my other fear (and I understand I fueled this)--that they are holding a grudge. Pushing my way in is my only choice other than leaving them alone for good. It's scary as hell!! Reconnecting is not something I'm familiar with at all! Either someone stays in my life or they go (yes, abandonment is my core issue).

Mr.& Mrs. Flipper: Thank you!

AuldSoul:
It very well could be just a simple misunderstanding. I mean, you used to decry their holiday celebrations as pagan, after all. Should they assume you now wish to be included in a pagan celebration just because you left JWs?

I encourage you to reach out and make them know how much you need their forgiveness for treating them and their customs so sh--tily for so long. You probably hurt their feelings pretty badly during those years.

You're right.

26

Recovery of an Adult Convert (Excluded from Christmas)

by lonelysheep in

jw
friends

on my previous thread, i wrote about reconnecting with my family:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146360/1.ashx.

too little, too late, i sadly admit.. holidays, specifically christmas, were always special for us since we were able to all be together.

lonelysheep

Happy New Year!

yknot:
Make sure you send out B-Day cards and presents this year maybe even plan a B-Day celebration, send out cards for all other holidays too. Start sending emails about what you are doing now that you are out of the JWs. Include them in your life and eventually one of them will start to include you in theirs.
Remember it was small calculated steps that drew you away from your family and into the JWs (ie indoctrination) and it will take the same type of steps back to your family.

See, I hadn't even thought of that--sending bday cards. That used to be a normal thing for me and though I am now back to liking bdays, I do not express the importance of any of theirs. They wouldn't know how I really feel about life celebrations now. I did think I could just hop right back into people's lives, and that's the problem. I feel like I am in a state of family purgatory, so to speak.

changeling:
Is there anyway you could speak to them and get this out in the open? Perhaps there's some misunderstanding causing "bad blood" that you are not aware of. If everyone lays their issues out on the table perhaps fences could be mended and wounds could heal.

I intended to do that on Christmas. They really have no idea that I wanted to reconnect with them prior to my grandfather's death. So, I just don't know when I'll actually have that opportunity. I didn't want to do that in the days we were together after his passing.

mrsjones5:
Go to your grandmother on your own...forget the others.

Right, that's all I can do. It's an uneasy thing, though because my brother lives there, too. Not enough to stop me.

26

Recovery of an Adult Convert (Excluded from Christmas)

by lonelysheep in

jw
friends

on my previous thread, i wrote about reconnecting with my family:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146360/1.ashx.

too little, too late, i sadly admit.. holidays, specifically christmas, were always special for us since we were able to all be together.

lonelysheep

Thanks, Min & Rising Eagle.

26

Recovery of an Adult Convert (Excluded from Christmas)

by lonelysheep in

jw
friends

on my previous thread, i wrote about reconnecting with my family:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146360/1.ashx.

too little, too late, i sadly admit.. holidays, specifically christmas, were always special for us since we were able to all be together.

lonelysheep

On my previous thread, I wrote about reconnecting with my family:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146360/1.ashx

Too little, too late, I sadly admit.

Holidays, specifically Christmas, were always special for us since we were able to all be together. Of course, I completely stopped that when I started studying with the jw's.

I intended to go to my grandmother's house on Christmas. The day of my grandfather's funeral, just about a month prior to xmas, in fact, one of my cousins and I said spoke and agreed that we should go there that day so we could all be together.

On Christmas, my brother, our two cousins and their spouses/significant others met at my grandmother's house to take her to dinner with other family members. I was purposely left out of the plans. My brother left me a message on xmas eve stating he was taking her to an aunt's house and was not sure what time they'd be back. I wasn't invited, I took it. $hitty, but I'll deal with it. But the day after xmas, I spoke to my grandmother who said she thought for sure she'd see me on Christmas. She then went on to say that each of the grandkids (minus me) came to her house w/their partners and kids, and as a surprise to her, they would all be travelling together to my aunt's house.

So, I thought my family was happy to see me, but the opposite is true. They must've saved face for the sake of the funeral. I had always felt like the outcast, being the only one not involved in sports and the only one who was put down my entire life by everyone, while the others were backed by love and support from everyone. Now, though, I know I'm outed for good. It's done. Any connection that might have remained, I destroyed for that damn imaginary character in the sky and a non-life appreciating group of people based out of Brooklyn, NY.

I feel numb and am done thinking they love me. No excuses, only reality. I am moving on.

Thanks for reading.

~L

Shared DNA does not necessarily equate to family.

41

WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR NEW YEARS EVE?

by Mary in

jw
friends

are you doing anything special tomorrow night???

i think i'm going over to some ex-dubs' house to celebrate this horrible, pagan festival that will no doubt earn me a one-way ticket to the firey gehenna.

anyone else got sum plan??!!

lonelysheep

Staying home and likely drinking. I was thinking of going over to the city to watch the ball drop live, but woke up this morning and realized I'd rather not.

31

Let's Talk About NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

by jayhawk1 in

do you attempt to set a new years resolution or several?

in the past, i have not.

this year is different, i guess.

lonelysheep

No treadmill required

50

How much does a housewife cost?

by LtCmd.Lore in

jw
friends

don't take this the wrong way, this is purely out of curiousity.. .

assuming you are the working man who makes the money, and the wife stays at home and takes care of the house and cooks and does laundry and all that stuff.. no children!.

how much would it cost to hire someone(s) to do all those things instead?