Hi there!
Wow! This is just too true. Something that I saw happen finally put the nail in the coffin for me with the JW's. I was born a witness I suppose, and never knew anything else but all that gossip, back biting and nasty behaviour , and thought that we had to forgive it because people were imperfect. Too bloody right.
My Aunt was dying a terrible death from cancer and her daughter in law, a pioneer, highly respected and adored by the congregation and elder husband were to do most of the running about and helping of her. To be honest, her husband was very good but his wife was another matter all together. A lot of people were pitching in to help my Aunt have her last days at home but a few very unpleasant incidents had happened while the Aunt was on her own with her daughter in law. She had been at home from the hospital for a couple of weeks and was clearly at the end of her life and the daughter in law decides that it's all getting too much for her so we all offer to take the majority of the load off her. I'd been told that the daughter in law had been complaining bitterly to every sister who would listen about how selfish my Aunt was and if she was in that situation she would just go into a hospice and never burden anyone!
Then one morning I arrived to take over the caring shift. I had the key and so went in and found my Aunt sitting in a cold room in her wheel chair, it was November , shaking a crying desperately. I couldn't make any sense of what she was saying. Then the daughter in law came rushing down the stairs and called me out of the room. Bear in mind that this woman is a pioneer and pillar of the JW community. She told me that I was not under any circumstances to give my Aunt any comfort because she was acting like a spoiled child wanting to die at home and putting her and the other relatives to so much inconvenience. Aunty was going into respite care as after two weeks of caring for her at home 'SHE" needed a break. I said nothing. I went in to see my Aunt, comforted her, put the fire on, and promised her that she was going to a hospice over all our dead bodies!!
She died terribly a week later. But I was enlightened.
The daughter in law's reasoning was that all she wanted to do was pioneer and serve her god Jehovah and not be wasting her time taking care of her mother in law. She was frustrated and needed to be out there saving people.
Well she certainly didn't need to be out there saving people because she managed it at my Aunt's. She blooming well saved me. She saved me from any more JW policy, lies and non sense. I'm afraid real love is something that does exist among some JW's but it is a rare and a very, very beautiful thing when you find it. My cousin still moves me to tears how she tried to help her mother. But this was family love, another thing all together.
I was a witness for 40 years and I'm afraid I know too much. Jehovah is not with them it is just terrible fear that drives them. So perhaps I should be sorry for the daughter in law. Perhaps she thought she was losing points for getting into the new system but she certainly opened my eyes...WIDE!
Gill
