Wow
blacksheep
JoinedPosts by blacksheep
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15
How You Can Encourage Mental Illness
by metatron infirst, you need to identify some outward signs of mental illness and then find ways to encourage their manifestation.
paranoia: remember, you live in a world controlled by the devil and.
his demons.
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20
Seeking your opinions on contacting relatives
by Swan init's been eight years since i have spoken to any of my relatives.
some (cousins, nieces, nephews) were young children at the time; now some are 18 and older.
they are not allowed to speak to me, but of course those rules don't apply in the reverse.
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blacksheep
As a disclaimer, just take my comments as another POV from someone whose situation and family may be very different from yours.
Ive been out for over 15 years: not really dad, nor dfd. My JW (and non-JW father) are pretty manipulative. They sort of bask in shunning, because they like to feel in control. The way they maintain that control is if you continue to COME to THEM. As long as you try to contact them, and seek them out, they get some gratification that the shunning is working. They have to do very little: just wait for you to make a move.
The way I see it, and knowing my family, is that they need to think about the repercussions of what they are doing. They wont have to ever think about it if you continue to seek them out, to be the bigger person so to speak. Theyll continue to think the shunnings working. Theyve made it quite clear they dont accept me for who I am, but yet they expect me to want to seek out their approval. Doesnt work that way. You dont accept me, why do I want to chase after you emotionally, when basically youre a cold fish??
For shunning to work successfully, the one who is shunned must show sorrow, must take the initiative to seek out the relatives, must see the error of their ways, must understand that love is conditional. I say screw that. The one SHUNNING has a cold heart, hardened by a man-made cult. That is not normal. You shun me because you dont accept me for who I am, this means the ultimate family disownment. I dont think Im obligated to keep the lines open.
Again, just my view. My familys maybe harder than most, and I had a special brand of dysfunction going on in mine. They have rejected me because I will not live by their rules. I have not rejected them, and they know this.
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8
My witness Brother came to visit.
by mommy1 inmy witness brother came to visit me today out of the blue.
i hadn't seen him in awhile.
we talked and then he mentioned something about elders in his congregation wanting to call on me.
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blacksheep
Oh, btw mommy1, I responded before I read your last post. I think you and I are in similar situations: I have a sister whose a JW, and a mother. I feel more sorry for my sister. She just spoke with me yesterday and basically, she went round in circles about lots of things, she's basically brainwashed. I don't hold her as responsible as my mom, who's really over the top, and I believe really influencing my sister to shun or emotionally manipulate me. I too feel closer to my sister than my mom: in a way, I feel sorry for her. But she's chosen her life, and I've chosen mine. I feel that I had the strength to leave, she's stayed in and tried to follow the rules. But she cannot have it both ways: she cannot claim to "love" her sister but try to shun/manipulate me as well.
Just wanted to explain a bit more....
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8
My witness Brother came to visit.
by mommy1 inmy witness brother came to visit me today out of the blue.
i hadn't seen him in awhile.
we talked and then he mentioned something about elders in his congregation wanting to call on me.
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blacksheep
Yeah, well, I guess when I get past the manipulative control my JW sister and mother try to excercise, I really feel sorry for them to. I love them, and hate to see them throwing their lives away by being brainwashed by a cult. I want the best for them and my neices and nephews, who don't stand a chance of being sucessful because they are being brainwashed too, and cannot pursue college or other "worldly" interests.
Deep down, I think we do all love are families. It's just that some members have strange, controlling ways of expressing it. I too would be wary (as someone else suggested).
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59
My mommy doesn't want me. . I need a hug
by StinkyPantz ini sent my mom a letter not too long ago telling her that i wanted my family back.
well, i got a very unexpected response.
she basically said "no".
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blacksheep
SP. So very sorry. It hurts, I know. Believe me I know. You were meant for better things. You cannot force a cold heart to love. Just know that there are plenty of very loving people out there, and it's mommy's problem, not yours.
Best of luck!!! I remember a scene from this movie (can't remember the movie, though...) Anyway the comment to a grieving girl who was also herself shunned by her family for basically doing a right and honorable thing was "Sometimes you just get bad parents." (paraphrasing it).
Take care, Blacksheep
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20
Shunning? What About The Children??
by Tish inhi to eveyone,.
i was d'fd 18 months ago, i was prepared for the shunning within my family and the borg of all my friends (as i never associated with "worldly people") but i have been totally blown away with how nobody cares about my 2 young children!!.
my kids have not heard from their aunties and uncle since i was thrown out in feb '01.
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blacksheep
I'm very sorry about your situation. Yes "loving brotherhood" as long as you live within the very, very narrow confines of their rules. It IS amazing to see their heartless treatment, esp where kids are involved. I've been out of the org for many years now, have a 2 year old and am expecting another baby in a month. It's caused my JW family to do all sorts of emotional cartwheels, so that they can try to see them on their terms (even be there for the birth); all the while not approving of me. Sorry, doesn't work that way. You cannot treat mommy like crappola but try to fake a loving relationship with her kids (they're potential recruits after all).
The bottom line is they MADE their choices. They are trying to get you to live by THEIR rules, which is neither fair nor wise. In my mind, your responsiblity is to love yourself, love your children, and try to shield them from the emotional turmoil and sickness that permeats this religion. Best of luck!!!!
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61
Witnesses Just Want To Have Fun!
by Englishman inthere are hundreds and hundreds of permitted extra-curricular activities for jw's to enjoy.
activities that have nothing to do with religion or worship where jw's can really have a ball!.
so, for all of you people who sometimes wonder if you should perhaps go back, lets all list the permitted fun things that any witness can do in his / her spare time.. i'll get the ball rolling:.
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blacksheep
Sorry, my last post should have been addressed to Mr. Biggs, not Englishman.
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61
Witnesses Just Want To Have Fun!
by Englishman inthere are hundreds and hundreds of permitted extra-curricular activities for jw's to enjoy.
activities that have nothing to do with religion or worship where jw's can really have a ball!.
so, for all of you people who sometimes wonder if you should perhaps go back, lets all list the permitted fun things that any witness can do in his / her spare time.. i'll get the ball rolling:.
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blacksheep
Actually, Englishman, I was referring to wedding anniversary celebrations, not the actual wedding receptions themselves. Maybe is a regional/cultural thing, however, because the actual JW wedding reception/parties I've attending were duds. No liquor (don't want anyone losing control). Usually a potluck. Maybe kingom songs, or very restrained music. Some dancing, but under very watchful eyes. One suggestive move and you'd be on the list to watch...
In our area, weddings were more like modified/special occasion meetings...no fun at all.
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61
Witnesses Just Want To Have Fun!
by Englishman inthere are hundreds and hundreds of permitted extra-curricular activities for jw's to enjoy.
activities that have nothing to do with religion or worship where jw's can really have a ball!.
so, for all of you people who sometimes wonder if you should perhaps go back, lets all list the permitted fun things that any witness can do in his / her spare time.. i'll get the ball rolling:.
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blacksheep
I remember playing a few mean games of Bible Pictionary. What (wholesome) fun!!
How about "Name that Kingdom Tune?"
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13
Here is something to hang door-to-door
by kenpodragon inthis is a sign we should make up and hang on doors in our neighborhoods.. .
just a idea.
dragon
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blacksheep
It's great. But I also think it's a bit buried just on the doorknob. How bout getting all your neighbors to agree to post a neighborhood sign...like "neighbhorhood watch" or something to that effect.