Shunning? What About The Children??

Tish

Hi to eveyone,

I was D'Fd 18 months ago, I was prepared for the shunning within my family and the Borg of all my friends (as I never associated with "Worldly People") but I have been totally blown away with how nobody cares about my 2 young children!!

My kids have not heard from their Aunties and Uncle since I was thrown out in Feb '01. My D'Fshipping was not popular in the cong, as many brothers knew my situation and pleaded with me to appeal my case, as they felt I should not be disfellowshipped. My friends and family pleaded with me for reinstatement which I was assured of after 6 months if I was a good girl!

Those elders who lied and cheated on my committee, threatened me if I appealed. In the middle of this was a 6 yr old and a 3 year old. My oldest son wants to go back to the meetings, so he can see his old friends and my youngest daughter doesn't even know her aunts and uncles any more!!

Surely this is not in line with the Borgs guidelines. I have a lot to be thankful of by being disfellowshipped as unless this happened I would have never listened to those rascals called "Apostates" - even though they still believe in the Bible, God/Christ!!

Tish

Latte

Welcome Tish!

I have wizzed you an e-mail.

Latte

Vivamus

Hey Tish,

I am sorry for your kids. It is the same with my mum who is still a JW, she is getting a lot less people coming over since I got DF'd. Not that she minds....

Anyway, I hope your family will come around.

Viv.

Dismembered

Ignoring your kids is typical WTBS . Self-righteous asses, who think their fecal matter doesn't stink.

Sorry to hear the bad news

sunshineToo

It is strange that the elders didn't want to listen to your friends and family. Did you plea to them as well? If your children wnat to go back to KH, your family or friends should assist you. Have you called them up and have asked? Did you know that you can even call the elders and ask for assistance, too? They might want YOU to come to the KH. But still they shouldn't ignore your children's request.

freeman

What about the children indeed. It just shows how demonic this organization has become when the safety, security, and normal family ties of these children become secondary to showing loyalty to a printing corporation. God help the little children, because the Tower sure won't; the Tower could give a rats ass about them!

Freeman

Pierced Angel

My daughter misses her friend L... very much. She calls, but rarely can L... talk to her very long. My daughter was in tears because she went to a pool party of a school friend and found out L... is allowed to call this school friend and visit all the time even though she and her family are "worldly". It's not fair to the kids and I've told her we'll wait till her parents are gone to work and she can call her and talk. I will do whatever I have to to make sure she can keep her friendship, while encouraging her to make new friends. It's a shame, you'd think the family would want to encourage my daughter and eventually it might encourage me to go back (no way in hell, lol). But, they don't,they shun her too.

so sad.

Lady Lee

When I was DFed I left my husband and he convinced the girls to stay with him. They did for a while but they were still shunned. Here they were still living with and going to the meetings with their father and they were still shunned by the other kids in the cong. They put up with his abuse and the shunning and then went to a lawyer to get the custody changed so they could come to live with me.

Their grand mother has shunned them as well as their aunts and uncles.

There is no real love in this organization. People are dispensable. They are always looking for new recruits.

I have to get to work but will try to pop in here later with more info about this

flower

((((Tish)))),

My older sister had a son less than a year after me and my son talks about his cousin on occasion. Even though hes only 3 he has spent enough time with my family to know them and he doesnt understand why he cant see his Grandma, Aunties or cousin.

I can definately understand where you are coming from especially since your son made friends in the organization. Buy my situation is a little different in that my family would actually like to continue a relationship with my son and ideally they'd love to adopt him and bring him up in the 'truth'. But they are so abusive to me because I am df'd that I have made the decision that they WILL NOT be around him. My son and I are a family and they will not reject me and abuse me but love and care for my son. I know that their love is conditional and as soon as he is older and decides he doesnt want to be in the cult they will drop him like they did me and I wont let that happen.

You may want to try to think of it from that viewpoint. Most Jw's practice love only towards people who do not reject their God or organization. So if your kids decided they dont want to be JW's (and i'm assuming youve talked to the older one a little about why you left) it is standard procedure for them to reject the kids as well as you.

I think the best thing you can do is surround your son with other people who love him no matter what he believes about God. Help him make new friends. Reach out to extended non jw family if you have any. I didnt think I was going to ever be able to have a real birthday party for my son because I didnt have any friends or family outside the org but I've made friends and started getting to know some of my other non jw family so we are having a big party this year. And he is happy and doesnt talk about my family much anymore at all especially since the last time he was with them they treated him badly because he was in their opinion "wordly".

I agree though what the org does to families is despicable.

Edited by - flower on 24 July 2002 10:34:42

Xandria

When my mother was d/f.. they did not tell her upfront any information. They were counseling her... and gave her a time period to quit smoking. She did not... There was no secondary visit or judicial hearing at the K.H. .. Nothing.

Well.. Meeting night comes around.. because it was a week day night my sister and I had homework to do and pleaded with our mother to stay home to do it. We both had major assignments due. Mom stayed home with us. My little sister Tay, she went with some "brother and sister" who gave us a ride to the meetings at times. ( we did not have a car).

Well after that meeting they announced it. L** W___ton has been d/f... for.... etc etc. My sister Tay came home very upset and ran into the bedroom ( we all shared) crying. I came in to the room concerned.. and asked what was wrong.

She said sobbing, " They disfellowshipped mom ! and made the announcement tonight after the meeting was over. Everyone turned and looked at me... some had smirks, others looked sad, some shook thier head at me. " Then afterwards no one said anything to her.. or would speak to her unless she asked a direct question.

My sister was devestated....and we had to inform my mom she was disfellowshipped. My mom was so surprised that she called the Elder. An was told it was true... my mom asked why she was not informed before the announcement .. b/c she would of had her daughter stay at home and not be subjected to this humilation.

That is what stays in my mind... the people who shunned us b/c of our mom's d/fellowshipping.

Xandria

Shunning? What About The Children??

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