Wow, PE I am glad you posted. You will get support here. And what's better is it will be from people who have been through similar circumstances and know how the org. works.
I agree with previous posters. Keep your thoughts to yourself for now. You're in a tough situation but not impossible. I faded and my wife is still a strong believer, so is her family and most of mine. It is possible to get through it in one piece.
Questions: Does your father in law still get into your business like he did earlier in the marriage? Or because of your wife's df'ing did he back off that and now just the elders in general are "concerned" about both of you?
Growing the beard definitely raised their suspicions, but how about your wife's? Does she know anything about your doubting the witnesses?
You're not an elder/MS so you have that going for you, that's a whole extra step that you avoided having to deal with - good job!
I wish you the best of luck.