TheListener

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Posts by TheListener

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  31

  A very lonely life.

  by Harpy in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  how do i stop having a lonely life?

  i am 33 years old and have never had a relationship with anyone.

  i have never dated..and as much as i would like to blame the jws, truth is i have never been asked out by anyone..ever.. i am a bit large, but i am not too fat or ugly and i think i am a good person, so why can't i find someone??

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  TheListener

  I'd help out but I'm married - for now.wink wink
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  12

  Bookstudy - Ch30 "Go On Walking In Love"

  by TheListener in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  so this is the title of the chapter we'll be starting this week at bookstudy.

  sounds promising eh?

  well don't get excited.. here are some tidbits:.

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  TheListener

  So this is the title of the chapter we'll be starting this week at bookstudy. Sounds promising eh? Well don't get excited.

  Here are some tidbits:

  par. 6

  Just imagine, a person without love is "a useless nobody" (1 cor. 13:2 - amplified bible) despite any works that he might perform!

  Subheading: What Love Is

  par. 8 "Love is Long Suffering"

  Because we are imperfect creatures serving shoulder to shoulder, it is only realistic to expect from time to time,our christian brothers may irritate us and we may do the same to them. But patience and forebearance can help us cope with the minor scrapes and scratches we sustain in our dealings with others - without disrupting the peace of the congregation.

  par. 10 "Love... rejoices with the truth"

  If for example, a loved one has been involved in a serious sin, love for Jehovah - and the erring one - will help us to hold to God's standards instead of trying to conceal, rationalize or even lie about the wrongdoing. Granted, the truth of the situation may be hard to accept. But, having the best interests of our loved one at heart we would want them to receive and respond to an expression of God's loving discipline.

  par. 11 "Love...bears all things"

  That expression literally means "all things it is covering" (kingdom interlinear). Yes, a christian who is governed by love is not eager to drag into the light of day all the imperfections and shortcomings of his christian brothers. In many cases the mistakes and faults of fellow believers are minor in nature and can be covered over by the cloak of love.

  par. 12 "Love...believes all things"

  We are not unduly suspicious of fellow believers, questioning their every motive. Love helps us to believe the best about our brothers and to trust them.* When love moves us to express such confidence in our brothers, we bring out the best in them.

  * Of course, christian love is by no means gullible. The bible exhorts us "keep your on those who cause divisions and occasions for stumbling..., and avoid them" (Romans 16:17)

  par. 13 "Love...hopes all things"

  Even as love is trustful, it is also hopeful. Motivated by love, we hope the best for out brothers. For example, if a brother takes a "false step before he is aware of it, " we hope that he will respond to loving efforts to readjust him. We also hold out hope that those who are weak in faith will recover. We are patient with such ones, doing what we can to help them become strong in the faith. Even if a loved one goes astray, we do not give up hope that someday he will come to his senses and return to Jehovah, like the prodigal son in Jesus' illustration

  par. 14 "Love... endures all things"

  Endurance enables us to stand firm in the face of disappointments or hardships. Tests of endurance do not come only from outside the congregation. At times, we may be tested from within. Because of imperfection, our brothers may on occasion disappoint us. A thoughtless remark may hurt our feelings. Perhaps a congregation matter is not handled as we think it should be. The conduct of a respected brother may be upsetting, causing us to wonder, 'How can a christian act like that?' When faced with such situation, will we withdraw from the congregation and stop serving Jehovah? Not if we have love! Yes, love prevents us from becoming so blinded by the failings of a brother that we can no longer see any good in him or in the congregation as a whole. Love enables us to remain faithful to God and supportive of the congregation regardless of what another imperfect human may say or do.
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  16

  Parenting - strict or relaxed

  by TheListener in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this was inspired by satanus' thread about how can people leave the truth when they've been raised in it.. i was raised in the truth, or as some say i was raised around the truth and made it my own when i was baptized.

  i know typical doublespeak from dubs.. which method of parenting will most likely result in your child being a stronger jw?

  a strict parent who enforces family study, meeting attendance regardless of health, regular service, constant spiritual talk inserted into daily life, having dub families over a lot and creating situations for regular association with dub kids of a similar age and not allowing association with school and neighborhood kids.

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  TheListener

  Just to narrow down the field. I am not talking about parenting in other areas of life. For example, talking back or being disrespectful to someone else. These things are not acceptable regardless of religious ideology. I'm specific referring to dub rules.

  For example, I wasn't allowed to say gosh or Jeez. I wasn't allowed to have school friends over nor to go to their house. I had a regular family study and I wasn't allowed to miss it or reschedule it for any (and I mean ANY) reason. I mean dub rules. If I said "luck" I would have been chewed out pretty good.

  If my parents heard me say to someone else "it's against my religion" I had to go back and explain why (yeah that pissed me off pretty good).

  That is the type of strict versus relaxed I really mean.
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  34

  Drawing unfair comparisions-Convention talk on Tues night

  by Jez in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  tuesdays meeting had a part about the upcoming summer convention.

  alot of q n a about how to dress, to wear your lapel at all times, to be clean, to not eat out bec the worldly vendors would be upset that they are not allowed to sell food inside the arena, to watch your language, conduct at the motels, to walk quietly, to not be in the halls during the sessions, informal witness at every opportunity etc.

  then this man comments and says, "what other religion would clean up the arena before and after a convention?

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  TheListener

  Carla, yes, that was the part assigned by the KM (U.S.) to handle on Tues/Thurs night.

  From the KM (I don't have a scanner):

  30 minutes: "Laud Jehovah in the Big Congregation" To be handled by the congregation secretary. Mention the convention to which the congregation is assigned. Consider the numbered paragraphs in the manner of the Watchtower Study. Have the paragraphs read by an assigned reader. Review the box "District convention Reminders."*

  *Limit introductory comments to less than a minute, and follow iwth a question-and-answer discussion.

  Song 8 and concluding prayer
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  16

  Parenting - strict or relaxed

  by TheListener in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this was inspired by satanus' thread about how can people leave the truth when they've been raised in it.. i was raised in the truth, or as some say i was raised around the truth and made it my own when i was baptized.

  i know typical doublespeak from dubs.. which method of parenting will most likely result in your child being a stronger jw?

  a strict parent who enforces family study, meeting attendance regardless of health, regular service, constant spiritual talk inserted into daily life, having dub families over a lot and creating situations for regular association with dub kids of a similar age and not allowing association with school and neighborhood kids.

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  TheListener

  Yes, that is exactly what I'm getting at. If being a JW isn't a complete pain in the a$&@ then perhaps they'll be less inclined to leave. It seems to be a catch 22. Make it strict and unbearable and they'll probably leave - but ruin their childhood in the process. Make it relaxed and shelter them from the strict rules and they'll probably hang around thinking it's not too bad - thus ruining their adulthood.

  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  I feel better now.
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  12

  My daughter is so confused

  by ConcernedDad in

  1. social
  2. family

  i hope there is someone who had a similar situation and would advise to me.. my daughter veronica is 8. her mom (we are divorced) is a hard core jw.

  she puts lots of pressure on my daughter for her to lead a jw approved lifestyle.

  but kids are kids.

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  TheListener

  Sorry to hear this concerneddad. It's a tough situation that your daughter is in. I don't know exactly what you should or shouldn't do but I do know that unless you have very specific reasons you need to handle this without trying to demonize her mother. The problems between her mother and you are not her problems. She's just a confused kid. It appears to me that you already know that and are acting accordingly.

  AAs comment about making sure she understands that everyone has their own opinion is great. Also mention that sometimes people change their opinion when they review and research a matter from all angles. For this particular issue perhaps you could go to the local library or online and review some information on the importance of voting and some past situations where decisions were decided by a slim majority which means that every vote counts.

  Also make sure she understands that you will love her no matter what she writes for her report. The important thing is that she shares her feelings with you and lets you in on her thoughts. That is something a jw parent isn't naturally good at. They don't want to be let in on thoughts that are out of harmony with jw beliefs. If a child expresses thoughts that are out of harmony they aren't reviewed and discussed (in most cases that is) they are summarily told "oh no honey that's not right - this is".

  Depending on your relationship with her mother you may start to share some interesting information on birthdays vs. anniversaries, or some other pertinent subjects. Make sure that your daughter understands that there are many good honest hearted people in the world and not everyone fits into the JW mindset of a wordly person. Of course she must also exercise caution.
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  16

  Parenting - strict or relaxed

  by TheListener in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this was inspired by satanus' thread about how can people leave the truth when they've been raised in it.. i was raised in the truth, or as some say i was raised around the truth and made it my own when i was baptized.

  i know typical doublespeak from dubs.. which method of parenting will most likely result in your child being a stronger jw?

  a strict parent who enforces family study, meeting attendance regardless of health, regular service, constant spiritual talk inserted into daily life, having dub families over a lot and creating situations for regular association with dub kids of a similar age and not allowing association with school and neighborhood kids.

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  TheListener

  Ok,

  This was inspired by Satanus' thread about how can people leave the truth when they've been raised in it.

  I was raised in the truth, or as some say I was raised around the truth and made it my own when I was baptized. I know typical doublespeak from dubs.

  Which method of parenting will most likely result in your child being a stronger JW? A strict parent who enforces family study, meeting attendance regardless of health, regular service, constant spiritual talk inserted into daily life, having dub families over a lot and creating situations for regular association with dub kids of a similar age and not allowing association with school and neighborhood kids. (Whew!!!). - Wow, I just realized that must have been my parents roadmap.

  Or a relaxed parent that basically goes through the motions but doesn't make a big deal about things. Obviously some things are just a no-no - like Birthdays or Xmas. But, no family study, no regular praying, virtually no discussion of spiritual things (because any spiritual discussion means supporting JW doctrine - at least in a JW home), Being relaxed at meetings and not being concerned whether or not the young one is listening. etc, etc.

  Which method would raise the most devoted dub? I'm really not sure. At first I thought the first method for sure and the second method would obvioulsy not. But, in really thinking about it I think that just maybe if you raise your child to be relaxed about the dubs, they'll become more devoted because you haven't pushed it, they might do it on their own. If you push someone more, they tend to rebel and perhaps they'd leave the truth like some of us did.

  I just don't know.I'll await your responses.
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  40

  How can you be raised in the 'truth' and not be one

  by Satanus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  TheListener

  LisaBobeesa, what games did you dad play with you to help you learn critical thinking? Any examples would be helpful.
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  13

  try this one on

  by donald in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  try this one on for size.

  my dad who owns a busisness...was told he could not do any work for the local catholic church or school...( he had just gotten a big for them)...and he came to find out the elder that forced this issue..( to the co )...himself signed a contract to do all...the churches work...( two diffrent feilds of work they were not in comption with other) my dad has written a letter to the wtbs.....wonder if it will help...what do you think...donald

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  TheListener

  What I find interesting in that most of this depends on the local body of elders. One stinky elder can ruin it for a whole congregation by being overly pious. The dubs love to spout unity but in reality there are many many things that are decided on a local level that they aren't unified about at all.
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  17

  JOB's children celebrating birthdays

  by eye 23 in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  can anyone give me their view on why the bible says that after job's children celebrated 'their day' he went out and made sacrafices to god in case they had sinned and cursed god in their hearts ?.

  the first part is a great talking part especially regarding job being a rightous man but the latter tends to counter act it some how by impling that job thoughts were that birthdays were wrong, in gods eyes.

  especially as he did this after every birthday, so i can't really debate that it was one off event that might have encured some wrong doing at one particular party........if you understand what i mean.. thanks for any iput.

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  TheListener

  As a footnote to my previous post. I have had this discussion with dubs, both family and not. By the end they'll agree that there probably isn't anything wrong with birthdays, but we shouldn't do it because the society says not to.

  That is the final point in any successful argument with a dub. However, I feel that if you make them say that enough times on enough subjects they'll eventually be bothered by it. It makes some of them feel like robots of the society - which in fact they are.