Posts by TheListener

70

How to make love & marriage work w/a JW

by StillinLove in

please dont comment saying to "run" or "get out while i can" thank you im not new to this, so i can handel it.

i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we started dating in high school and now i am going to college and he is working.

i am 20 and he is 21, i was raised catholic but my mom and i are too open minded for the church so we left.

TheListener

I don't know if you've picked up the term "worldly" from your boyfriend and his friends or from this board. If I were you I simply wouldn't use it. Don't allow yourself to be negatively categorized by anyone. It isn't fair.

I'm no psychologist, but I am going to take a guess here and say that you have Boundary issues. If so, this probably isn't the only example in your life where boundaries have become an issue. I recommend the following book. You can probably get it at the local library and it's a fairly quick read:

Boundaries - Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healty Boundaries by MA, Anne Katherine

70

How to make love & marriage work w/a JW

by StillinLove in

please dont comment saying to "run" or "get out while i can" thank you im not new to this, so i can handel it.

i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we started dating in high school and now i am going to college and he is working.

i am 20 and he is 21, i was raised catholic but my mom and i are too open minded for the church so we left.

TheListener

You've received a ton of responses and I haven't had the time to read them all yet.

I'm a faded witness but my wife and family are currently active.

My 2 cents:

If he leaves the religion for you then he'll probably return to it one day. The witnesses have a strong psychological attachment to their religion. Guessing by your college major you probably figured that out already. Proof of that attachment is the fact that you've not been introduced to everyone in his life and that he is purportedly still a witness while doing many many things that go against his religious creeds. Living 2 lives must cause a fair amount of stress. In his mind he's playing both worlds. That does not mean his love for you isn't real - from how you described him it probably is very real.

The caution is that at some point later in life something may happen, be it old age, severe medical trauma, having childen or whatever he is probably going to return to the witnesses. If he becomes an active witness in good standing then unfortunately your relationship will change.

You need help him realize that the witness religion isn't "the truth" and that being a witness isn't an automatic ticket into a new system. Until you (or someone else) does that you will always run the risk of him returning.

I wish you the best of luck. Sounds like you know what you want in life and are going for it. Great job.

9

Checking in with new friends...

by rache31 in

jw
friends

hey, just wondering what's going on in people's lives.

i'm doing okay and my sons are growing so fast it seems.

little by little my nonwitness family is getting the word that i'm reaching out to them.

TheListener

Sounds great Rache. Especially the part about reconnecting with aunts, uncles and others. Good job on being proactive and not letting a situation keep you down.

223

Diary of a thinking to return ex-Jw

by reniaa in

i thought long and hard about posting this but the mis-information on this site finally persuaded me, i already accept many may not accept what i say on face value and get their appologist pens ready for making sure no pro-witness propaganda slips through the net on this site but here goes....... i've been on this forum for a few months my first post was about how i was thinking of returning to jw's and at my sisters recommendation to look at this site for both sides of the story before taking that step.. i faded from jw's 10/11 years ago now i left my hubby at the time divorced him to going on to have more relationships and kids, i was definately given the impression after asking on this site and with what i read that if i tried to return i might face df or at least a jc but definately a couple of elders questioning me over what i've been upto these last few years - none of these have happened.

i talked with an old jw friend (yes i do have then and she never shunned me quite happily accepted an offer of coffee from me and my asking for a chat) i told her i was interested in going back and was very frank about what i done in the last 10 years but not sure how returning was done now, she quite happily said she go ask for me to find out.. result!

she came back this week and said "all i had to do was goto meetings again" and an offer of a study was there for me if i wanted it to explore the open doubts that i had expressed i now had.. not quite the fire and brimstone welcome this site led me to believe would happen.. i will keep you posted with further updates if i feel the need to put them in future.. .

TheListener

Reniaa,

I appreciate your dilemna and situation in life. You need to do what feels right for you. If that means becoming an active witness again I wish you all the best. My wife is an active witness and I love her very much.

As for me, I love God and his son Jesus very very much. I feel much better spiritually now then I ever did all the decades I was a witness. I have a personal relationship with Jesus. That means so much to me. I'm not born again, nor do I believe in a trinity, but I do believe the Bible is God's word and should direct our footsteps.

Several on this board have helped me understand the difference between wanting a teaching to be right and finding ways of agreeing with it and really evaluating a teaching/doctrine/understanding against a completely neutral background (or as neutral a background as a human is capable of). For that knowledge I will forever be grateful.

I truly do wish you much happiness Reniaa. If you ever want to talk about specific issues or doctrines in a non-confrontational way feel free to pm me.

4

"Lost Sheep" Campaign?

by hamsterbait in

jw
friends

one of metatron's threads had the suggestion that around 2009, the witchtower will try to reverse its losses by going after inactive ones.

lost sheep.. what i will laugh at if this happens, is that the gibbering buddy has already said that one is not judged as a sheep until armageddy.

so how can you be a "lost sheeple" - it is as nonsensical as saying that somebody is a "lost goat".. i can imagine dire threats.

TheListener

If it's a money driven organization I think they'll get less cash from reactivated members than they would from new suckers in 1st world countries.

They need to shift from 3rd world growth the 1st world growth - if they want to increase the cashflow. Money from the sale of buildings can only go so far.

54

If the G.B. and WTS don't have good motives, what is the point.....

by Mightyone in

this may be the topic of an old thread but, if the g.b.

and wts don't have good motives, what is the point of the whole religion?

i mean, it doesn't appear that anybody is getting rich or am i missing something.

TheListener

The WT is a non-profit organization and typically non-profit organizations cannot pay dividends.

They believe it. They may know they have some things wrong but in general they believe it.

The question really is: who will begin to disbelieve first, the top or the bottom of the pyramid? And what will the results be from that disbelief?

19

Major Changes in Watchtower Land???

by dedalus in

jw
friends

according to my wife, who is reading some other discussion board, the following changes are happening in the organization, or will happen, or have happened:.

1. no more book study meetings.

instead, the book study is added to the theocratic ministry school meeting.. 2. awake is published only once a month.. 3. two versions of the watchtower: one for the public, one for the witnesses themselves.. 4. shortened sunday meetings -- 1.5 hours instead of 2.0 hours.. 5. shortened hourly requirements for pioneers (this one may not be as new as the others?)..

TheListener

Dedalus,

Some of those changes just happened and others happened some time ago. Check the active topics and go back a few more pages than you did and you'll see a whole bunch of pages on the recent bookstudy change.

There have also been changes to the Generation meaning.

6

I'm Sorry That I Knocked

by kwr in

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kfabvii4kpg.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jt9bz9xq7c0.

ex-jw's apoloigize for knocking on doors..

TheListener

Excellent job to everyone who has made a video that can help people.

Moxie, I saw your video before and I am glad I can now say to you directly - great job!!

36

New to board

by Maryblondgrl in

well hello all....yes...i'm a newbie.... and yep...i am an inactive witness.

haven't been to a meeting in a while.

my entire family are witnesses, actually had a relative that proclaimed to be of the 144000...thats how deep....this is third generation witnesses here in this family.

TheListener

I'm glad you found the board Mary.

The advice and information others have given is really great. So many here have lived a life similar to yours. This board is a fantastic healing place.

For my part I can say that yes the fear of the end coming imminently does pass. When I was doubting and becoming inactive I used to get nervous watching the news or even when a severe thunderstorm happened. I always that 'well, this is it. Jehovah is going to kill me now.' I don't feel that way any longer. Educating myself on witness doctrines and the history of the organization helped me - and time.

24

no more bible study slip reports. WHY?

by wannaexit in

jw
friends

i apologize if this has been discusses before.

a few months ago publishers were told not to hand in individual study reports for bible studies.

remember, we had to hand in a separate report for each bible study with name and address of bible student.

TheListener

I didn't realize this change happened either. I guess the publishers won't have to create fake names and addresses of bible studies any longer.