You cant move on and get over the bullshit if you keep wallowing in it. I could really care less what the bad ones do, there ARE good Witnesses out there, I still talk to them. Do you think I'm lying for their benefit? I have absolutely no reason to, if anyone was 'stepped on' by the baddies, I sure was. Dont tell me about the lukewarm thing, smart people can read a magazine or listen to a talk and then make a balanced private decision on how they are going to make personal application of it in their own lives.
Maybe the difference for me is that I just left, because I knew I wasnt interested any longer in living up to all the 'rules'. Plus I felt I was way smarter than half the uneducated people who would plod methodically thru the studies like it was a real brain teaser for them, very frustrating for someone who thinks a mile a second and gets bored easy. It was that simple for me. Just like being a member of any other organization in this world. Most have a charter, and by joining you agree to follow it. Hell, if you rent an apartment you sign a lease that says you agree to follow the rules of the building. If you deliberately flaunt them, you get notified to straighten up, and then if you refuse you ultimately get kicked out. Whats so hard to understand about that?
Get over the bitterness. Your life will improve 100% because of it. I watched my bitterly apostate father ruin his life over it, and it was only when he got a real life that didnt involve trash talking the witnesses at his every opportunity that he became a real human being again.
Call me a 'witness-apologist' if you'd like, Ive been called way worse, and for someone who's been 'out' for over 12 years it'll just roll right off my back, thanks very much.
I just thought of a song that has helped thru many a dark moment, kinda follows thru on my 'let it go' idea. It's called "Bad", by U2, found on the Unforgettable Fire LP. It's originally about heroin addiction but as with most of their songs has a unique ambiguity that allows the listener to embrace it no matter what their personal demon. Here are the lyrics, take a listen it's a very moving tune:
"If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If I could, yes I would
If I could, I would let it go.
Surrender, dislocate.
If I could throw this lifeless
Lifeline to the wind.
Leave this heart of clay,
See you walk, walk away,
Into the night.
And through the rain.
Into the half-light,
And through the flame.
If I could through myself,
set your spirit free.
I'd lead your heart away,
See you break, break away
Into the light.
And to the day.
To let it go,
And so to fade away.
To let it go,
And so fade away.
I'm wide awake.
I'm wide awake.
I'm not sleeping.
Oh, no, no.
If you should ask then maybe
They'd tell you what I would say.
True colors fly in blue and black,
Bruised silken skies and burning flak
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes.
If I could, you know I would.
If I could, I would let it go.
This desparation.
Dislocation.
Separation.
Condemnation.
Revelation.
In temptation.
Isolation.
Desolation.
Let it go,
And so to fade away.
To let it go,
And so fade away.
Oh, no
I'm wide awake.
I'm wide awake.
I'm not sleeping.
Oh, no no"
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"Well the God I believe in isn't short of cash, mister!"
Bullet the Blue Sky, Rattle n Hum version
Bullet the Blue Sky, Rattle n Hum version