Sparkplug

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Posts by Sparkplug

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  16

  New Mexico or Amarillo Circuit

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey...is anybody on here from nm?

  i have not seen anyone from the state post?

  i wonder if nm has computers yet?

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  Sparkplug

  Hey...Is anybody on here from NM? I have not seen anyone from the state post? I wonder if NM has computers yet?
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  47

  Analyze this: The newly revised questions for baptism

  by ezekiel3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the following is quoted in it's entirety (excepting cited scriptures after each question) from the new release organized to do jehovah's will, pages 182-218.. .

  questions for those desiring to be baptized.

  part 1 elementary bible teachings.

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  Sparkplug

  OH and even better yet... How about we tell the PO and then he tells his wife and then you cant do anything at the ladies social..... You know all of this is private...of course. Maybe there should be a list at the back where people sign what they have that week on a list. And or...piss on a stick at the door. That way only the ones who are completely sexually disfuntional get in. Oh and if you are a molester...well you don't have to take any test..

  Sound like a plan?.
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  47

  Analyze this: The newly revised questions for baptism

  by ezekiel3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the following is quoted in it's entirety (excepting cited scriptures after each question) from the new release organized to do jehovah's will, pages 182-218.. .

  questions for those desiring to be baptized.

  part 1 elementary bible teachings.

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  3. 
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  Sparkplug

  ezekiel3- On the serious side. It is the person infecteds business and privacy by law. Yes man's law, but...It is still none of the DAMN PO's business if my nephew or niece have a disease. Does this mean if I have a yeast infection I had better not kiss my kids? Or your kids..OH, and must I run and tell the PO? Yes Yeast infections can get very serious.. and are as contagious as HIV. ...when you kiss someone.. OR HUG SOMEONE!!

  That means they are not comunicated through huggs and kisses. Why not disfellowship the poor babies. So that they skip all the publicly shunning? When they come into the hall... Give them a Yellow STAR and send them right on out.... Hypocrites!
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  47

  Analyze this: The newly revised questions for baptism

  by ezekiel3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the following is quoted in it's entirety (excepting cited scriptures after each question) from the new release organized to do jehovah's will, pages 182-218.. .

  questions for those desiring to be baptized.

  part 1 elementary bible teachings.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Sparkplug

  Leolaia - LMAO Thinking ALIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• 
  47

  Analyze this: The newly revised questions for baptism

  by ezekiel3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the following is quoted in it's entirety (excepting cited scriptures after each question) from the new release organized to do jehovah's will, pages 182-218.. .

  questions for those desiring to be baptized.

  part 1 elementary bible teachings.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Sparkplug

  1. What is the Christian standard for marriage?

  Must make sure that you lie about all the heavy petting,,,uh oral sex you had.

  2. What is the only Scriptural basis for divorce that frees one to remarry?

  Must do it on the KH counter.

  3. What does the Bible say about married people separating from each other?

  Do it with someone on the counter , hurry so that you can get a divorce.

  4. Why should those living together as husband and wife be properly married?

  To ruin it of course. So that they too can do it on the KH counter and get a divorce.

  5. If you are married, are you sure that your marriage has been properly registered with the civil authorities?

  (Doesn't 6 months and an accknowledgement of calling each other spouse make it legal?)

  6. Why should we show respect for the gift of life?

  (Give back to the community.....actually have children and make families)

  7. How does Jehovah view (a) the unlawful shedding of human blood? (b) abortion? (c) suicide?

  Do as I say not as I do.

  8. What responsibility rests upon a person who is infected with a communicable disease that is potentially fatal?

  According to this...they are responsible to tell the whole world and be gracious that they are shunned and not invited to homes.

  9. To avoid transmitting an infectious or a potentially fatal disease to others, why should an infected person (a) not initiate public displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing? (b) attend the Congregation Book Study at the Kingdom Hall if at all possible? (c) not react negatively when some choose not to invite him into their homes? (d) Why should a person who may have been exposed to an infectious disease voluntarily choose to have a blood test before beginning a courtship? (e) Why should one having a communicable disease inform the presiding overseer before getting baptized?

  see above

  10. Why should Christians abstain from blood, and what does it mean to do so?

  Only take half of the blood. The good parts....LMAO

  11. Are Christians under the Mosaic Law and its requirements regarding sacrifices and the Sabbath?

  Yes you must sacrafice your whole family. If Jesus did away with the law, and they are just principals....why are all these people disfellowshipped like the WTS rewrote the bible rules and outdid Jesus's work.

  12. What Christian quality should outstandingly characterize our relationship with our spiritual brothers and sisters?

  Dishonesty

  13. How should Christians view the shortcomings of fellow believers?

  As an opportunity to be better than thou to the maximum available potential!

  14. If your brother's sin against you is of a serious nature, what should you do?

  Screw his wife on the counter.

  15. What is the fruitage of the spirit, and how will cultivating it help us to maintain a fine relationship with others?

  Mango... Works great for body parts....smeared slathered and licked... great way to make friends

  16. Why must lying be avoided?

  "Retract number 16.. Typo...Lie if you want to live"

  17. What is the Christian view of stealing?

  Steal his wife...do her on the counter!

  18. Does the Bible prohibit the use of alcoholic beverages in moderation?

  No in fact, if you are in the In crowd in the org... you can drink all you want and blame it on that one geeky kid...Fall guy!

  19. What is the Christian view of overdrinking and drunkenness?

  Make sure you do it on the counter if you are drunk.

  20. Why should Christians abstain from all nonmedi-cal use of addictive or mind-altering natural or synthetic substances?

  It might make you fall off the counter.

  21. What does the Bible say about fornication, which includes adultery, sexual relations with another person of the same sex, and other ungodly sexual conduct?

  Yeah...yeah... you know.... Make sure it is on the counter!!!!!!!!

  22. By adhering to what Bible counsel will you be able to resist temptations and pressures that could induce you to engage in sexual immorality?

  What is the scripture that says horses in heat have strong testicals? Well kind of groswses you out a bit. Horses cannot get up on the counter.

  23. Why must a Christian avoid becoming involved in any form of gambling?

  Because they may waste the contributions that were stolen from the box in the back of the hall......

  24. If a person commits a serious sin out of weakness but wants help to be restored to Jehovah's favor, what action should he take immediately?

  Grovel....Grovel.........Grovel................and make sure there is a willing elder in front of you when you do this..

  25. In addition to confessing his own sins, each Christian has what responsibility regarding: serious wrongdoing by others that could threaten the moral cleanness of the congregation?

  Make sure you lie on your brother and become a rat fink.

  26. What is the proper viewpoint to have if one is Scripturally reproved?

  Be happy about it that someone is in your business and eat the crap up....

  27. What action does the congregation take when a person in its midst proves to be an unrepentant violator of God's commandments?

  they all talk to him at JWD!!

  28. What is idolatry? What are some forms of idolatry that Christians must guard against today?

  Looking up to someone and modeling your life after such person...They have to make sure and take gaurd that they only model the elder who way deep in the garbage of JW.

  29. What is the Christian's position as to the world alienated from God?

  Do you think aliens do it on the counters?

  30. What was Jesus' attitude toward participation in the political affairs of the world?

  affairs?

  31. When a person separates himself from the world and becomes a Christian, what treatment should he expect from those in the world?

  Damn good sex!

  32. How does being separate from the world affect a Christian in his choice of secular employment?

  "Make you separate the refuse from the recycleables..." LMAO

  33. What Bible principles should a Christian apply regarding his choice of entertainment and recreation?

  ONLY see R-rated if you are at home. so that nobody knows!

  34. Would it be proper for true Christians to share in worship with other religious groups?

  No because they might want to do it on our counter...

  35. What is the only religious ceremony that Christians are commanded to observe?

  ......................ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Do it on the COUNTER

  36. How can you determine whether you should observe or participate in celebrations that are popular in your community?

  check to see if you are to sore from doing it on the counter.............

  37. What birthday celebrations are mentioned in the Bible? How does this affect your view of birthday celebrations?

  Make sure you do all of the above on your birthday till there are marks on your buttocks and knees from DOING IT ON THE COUNTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• 
  47

  Analyze this: The newly revised questions for baptism

  by ezekiel3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the following is quoted in it's entirety (excepting cited scriptures after each question) from the new release organized to do jehovah's will, pages 182-218.. .

  questions for those desiring to be baptized.

  part 1 elementary bible teachings.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Sparkplug

  not initiate public displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing?

  I am still pissed. OK, do they think they are going to get a STD by Kissing....what end of the body are they talking about.

  attend the Congregation Book Study at the Kingdom Hall if at all possible?

  WHAT THE F@!##^$%&???????????????????
• 
  47

  Analyze this: The newly revised questions for baptism

  by ezekiel3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the following is quoted in it's entirety (excepting cited scriptures after each question) from the new release organized to do jehovah's will, pages 182-218.. .

  questions for those desiring to be baptized.

  part 1 elementary bible teachings.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Sparkplug

  9. To avoid transmitting an infectious or a potentially fatal disease to others, why should an infected person (a) not initiate public displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing? (b) attend the Congregation Book Study at the Kingdom Hall if at all possible? (c) not react negatively when some choose not to invite him into their homes? (d) Why should a person who may have been exposed to an infectious disease voluntarily choose to have a blood test before beginning a courtship? (e) Why should one having a communicable disease inform the presiding overseer before getting baptized?

  That is full of Crap... I have a nephew and niece who have "infectious or a potentially fatal disease to others". They are little children. Cannot something be done legally about this? Can they actually ask people to name themselves as having diseases and why the HELL sould they have to inform the Presiding overseer. Is it his business at ALL?

  Pissed me off.... really angry here.
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  22

  Intuition..

  by Country Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been reading up on intuition (and that's not what you pay to go to college.. heheh).. i think that all creatures have some sort of mechanism in their bodies that alerts them to possible danger.

  i feel that this sense has somehow been desensitized in humans, because we perhaps do not depend on it for our very lives any more, in the case of survival.

  however, it probably is still there somewhere deep inside us at some very unconscious level.. whether one can tap into that intuitive energy on sheer will is an unknown for me.

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  Sparkplug

  Well Durn... I just waisted my one brain wave of the day.
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  22

  Intuition..

  by Country Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been reading up on intuition (and that's not what you pay to go to college.. heheh).. i think that all creatures have some sort of mechanism in their bodies that alerts them to possible danger.

  i feel that this sense has somehow been desensitized in humans, because we perhaps do not depend on it for our very lives any more, in the case of survival.

  however, it probably is still there somewhere deep inside us at some very unconscious level.. whether one can tap into that intuitive energy on sheer will is an unknown for me.

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  Sparkplug

  I actually believe that intuition is just what was mentioned above...the ability to read small fluctuations in body language or maybe even perhaps any of the other senses are used.

  These things are done at such a complex, fast, and in a subtle way that most times we do not comprehend what we are observing. Perhaps a small twitch. A change in a pulse showing on the neck or the hair rising on a bare arm. These also can be the slight hint of untruth in a fluctuation of a voice. Sometimes a rise in the body temperature may cause a persons scent to rise or the eyes may dilate on a person when they see something they like. Often all of these things happen at once and there are so many different things that can be read. Just small things that when compiled and registered in our "thinking caps" leads us to a conclusion about a situation.

  Do not confuse my thoughts on what compiles intuition the same as a person who is actively hunting for signs. That is not in my opinion intuition; it is an active participation in the brains processes. I personally think that intuition is all of the readings your body takes in that are not actually thought about. The thinking about it process would connote a judgment to be made, a decision of sorts by you as to what you are thinking... make sense?
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  47

  Can you write a JW Motto...?

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  someone sent these state motto's to me and i was curious to know if any of us could make some up for the jw's?

  i personally will have to think on it for days, but i know some are very quick witted and this could be fun!

  i posted the state mottos to get us started.

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  Sparkplug

  These are so great! I really thought this would be dead by now for I cannot come up with even one.....