Posts by Sparkplug

Dear Santa,I've been a good Mommy all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter’s Girl Scout uniform with staples and a glue gun. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with three kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair and look in the mirror in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,

Mommy

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Merry Christmas!!

7

Christmas Shoes warning - tearjerker

by SixofNine in

jw
friends

it was almost christmas time.

there i stood in another line.

try to buy that last give or two.

Sparkplug

Size 8. I need some.... house shoes! My old ones got borrowed by my hooker pal...

Don't forget to pick some cream at the store while you are out.

Ok, I got one for you that got sent to me today. It is so politically incorrect. So I passed it on till I got a call from a lady who said she had a friend that had no legs and one arm. Made me squirm.

My name is Billy Evans.

I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad
is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt,
except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with
leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of
us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant,
but we need more money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I
said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives
me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and
chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me. You can help me if you
forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know,
too.

Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to,
Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that
funding,
NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and
have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them
better.

Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take
up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The
doctors could help me get better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only
be third base. Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can
take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.

Please help me.

Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot
before I turn 10. If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy
says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a
poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the
raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow,
horrible death and they burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are
you that you can't take five f-in minutes to forward this to all your friends
so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless,
nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a
kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't
chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish
that very much.

Thank You, Billy "Smiles" Evans

P.S. You can send money to the person who sent you this because that
person is very trustworthy.

19

Corroded Sparkplug

by Sparkplug in

jw
friends

today i sat and really realized how absolutely hopeless i feel.

i have had so many things happen in my life this year and a huge percentage of it has been items i have to face or tackle.

i have prioritized and organized myself to death and i am so very overwhelmed.

Sparkplug

Thanks you all! I dont have time to reply right now, but I think this is extremely humourous...you should send them to me. That would be right up my alley.

"I'm thanful for my friend that sends me fake suicide letters--I KNOW this sounds morbid and bad but they are hilarious."

Sara

19

Corroded Sparkplug

by Sparkplug in

jw
friends

today i sat and really realized how absolutely hopeless i feel.

i have had so many things happen in my life this year and a huge percentage of it has been items i have to face or tackle.

i have prioritized and organized myself to death and i am so very overwhelmed.

Sparkplug

Today I sat and really realized how absolutely hopeless I feel. I have had so many things happen in my life this year and a huge percentage of it has been items I have to face or tackle. I have prioritized and organized myself to death and I am so very overwhelmed. I am back to basics and down to the lowest level of work that I can have right now on my plate. This is not a small load at all.

With that said, I have looked at the angles and have decided it is just a nose to the grindstone kind of situation.

No whimpering meant, but I really have needed a hug and some saving. I hate to rely on people and I have had to. I keep one foot stepping deliberately in front of the other and am doing what I need to do. People I would hope would be there for me are not, or are callouse and just occupied. They are dating or shopping, clubbing and living and do not have the same lot that I do at the moment. Sometimes when I need them the most they do the most hurtful or unsensitive things. It really feels like a kick in the gut. Call me melodramatic, but I am a delicate creature and sometimes do not want to be as tough as my life has made me. I want the friendships to be two way. I need reasurrance and all the silly stuff the openly "needy" people get sometimes.

I am finding it bits humbling though, that some days the people I least credited for the role they play in my life have been my lifelines. I have had people I would not consider close to me give me that needed hug or compliment, or a knowing pat on the hand and a "hang in there girl." Some acquaintances I never thought would give a damn have called just to say they love me. Call me melodramatic, but I am a delicate creature and sometimes do not want to be as tough as my life has made me.

THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME! I just want to say that and that I appreciate it. It is not anyone here because I don't expect deep love through the Internet, just a sence of comradery. I mean no offence by this. I just thought that maybe you all have someone that helps you through your world and life every day and it might be really cool to post it.

So what do you say? Anyone have small thanks to give to people who save your "so called life" everyday? (Trust me I have some huge thanks to give to people who have done some very large things for me...but this is about the small tokens of affection and caring that get you from one moment to the next and keep you smiling!)

Here are some of the small thanks I am going to call and give tomorrow:

Thanks to my pal that sends me a stupid joke a day. I always have to laugh in spite of my trodden demeanor.

Thank you to my bosses co-partner who makes me coffee everyday and makes a strong pot just for me.

Thanks to my boss that does not write me up when I am repeatedly two to five minutes late.

Thanks to my daughter who is pitching in tenfold and only grouching about it once every two days.

Thanks to the friend who brought me a six pack and made me stop working for an hour.

Thanks to the gal who sits near me and brings soft tissue just so my nose does not tear up with all the tears I have been shedding.

Thanks to the crazy lady at work who picked up half of my workload and cut out 100 Christmas snowflakes in such intricate patterns so that I could get onto other duties.

NOW YOURS?

56

I'm sorry...................

by defd in

jw
friends

i thought about the thread i started yesterday and said that the people on night shift jwd are boring.

i apologise.

what i meant was that because of the lack of activity it is boring.

Sparkplug

defd- ok, understood. It does get slow at night.

finallyfree- I am sorry you are in pain. It is slow tonight. That is OK by my standards tonight because I am working, but it does get livelier at night at times. Dont give up!

36

THIS IS FOR THE DAY SHIFT PEOPLE HERE

by defd in

jw
friends

i gotta tell ya that this midnight crew on this board are boring.

i cannot wait to get back to ist shift.

i miss all the insults and attitude i got from yall.

Sparkplug

defd-How sad. You really should not use vast generalizations. WWWWHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa

128

Is there any hope of you coming back to Jehovah?

by LeftBehind in

jw
friends

my brother is a self proclaimed apostate.

i see now that there is a wide variety of posters here.

so to those that have left the witnesses what would it take to get you back?

Sparkplug

LeftBehind- (I am really hoping you bother reading all I have to say. You asked a question and I have a very busy life and I chose to stay up late and give you my version of an answer. So I really hope you take the time to read something that I took so much time from my work to write..I will be respectful, I promise)

I read your first post and wanted to reply. I felt how hurt you are and I see so much in your short paragraph that stirs emotions on so many levels. So let me sart by saying I think you are very brave to post here and actually ask some questions AND even braver yet for reaching outside the JW norm and bothering to go in a round about way to the source and look for answers. You have come to the source of the hurt and are asking questions.

There are a lot of answers and varying opinions here. It is your choice to actually listen and take the answers at face value, or you can turn a deaf ear and listen to what the Governing Body will have to say about all of these opinions and lives. That is that we are led astray, not submissive, under Satans influence...etc.

Think about it and when you are asked a question and someone jumps in and speaks for you it can be really annoying. It may not be at all how you feel, or even close to the situation. Even as a witness I know I was taught to go straight to the source for an answer. Research, etc. But that was all via JW material. I highly suggest you go to the source of the documentation people here have provided for you. Non "apostate" sites, books etc.

It may be very hard for you because you have been taught that if the information does not agree with the organization, that it is apostate. That in itself should make you think. You know the organization did not make up the Bible, but they interpret it. They say it is not an interpretation, but honey, it is. That was the hardest thing for me to accept, that I had been taught an interpretation. One of many interpretaions that were out there. Just think on that.

People who leave the organization are not all evil, they are not all debased, and they do not all do drugs, booze it up, fornicate and such. Some do, some don't. That is something else to keep in mind. There are many loving families here. They do not live bad lives, they just actually have started living. They have learned to have an opinion and they have learned to balance things. Education, skill sets, and actually living a clean life are main priorities for many.

You have been taught that your actions teach more than anything. These disfellowshipped, disassociated, apostate people do amazing things that move proverbial mountains, and it is all in the actions. Yes they are hurt, yes we all go through a crazy time when we loose everything, but I think you will find most do not want to go back. They miss families, they get depressed, they act out, they cry and laugh just the same as they ever did. They still love, they still live and breath. They area not dead and usually are more alive and aware of the world plight and peoples needs more than they ever were. They have looked in the mirror and had humbling experience. They have faced the worst fear many of us have and that is seeing the truth about ourselves.

It is hard to see that you were perhaps once misled. That you were lied to, that the family you left behind are firm believers in things based on lies. (Please do not stop reading) It is true, we were taught to base our lives and loves and families on things that were covered over. THAT is very hard to accept. It is hard to accept that many of us were self rightious and shunned others. We did this being rightiously indignant in our own right. This indignation was OK, because after all the ones we shunned were apostate, or had "left Jehovah."

But here we sit now and being in the same boat and having researched and seen things that nobody can remove from our sight and our ears, we have had to see that that is a horrible thing to do. It really hurts and is embarrasing, humbling and all together a very heartwrenching thing to go through. To see how alone we one left people we loved and left them alone. We caused them so much pain by not talking to them, by shunning, by being so self rightious. We went door to door and preached how Jesus loved all and ate with harlots and how he led the way, and yet we left that sheep behind. JUST AS WE WERE TAUGHT NOT TO. Just as we were taught to.

It is like we read it, preached it, lived it, and yet missed the whole point.

I am sure your brother loves you and misses you. He is a very strong person for staying away and calling himself apostate. But think about it....in all actuality he is like Jesus himself demonstrated and is standing up for what he believes and is not denying the truth in what he sees. He is in the so called Temple gates and is calling out for all to see that there is something really wrong with the 'temple'. That takes some guts.

I think you should call him. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. Take some time and actually research for yourself so that when you talk, you do not get mad at all he says, and you will be more prepared to not offend him. It is another very humbling thing to find out how offensive we were as witnesses. We are taught that we are different and stand out and we whow others the way as JW's, but the fact is that we really were offensive. NOT hated because of our faith in God, but possibly pitied by others who saw a lot that we were taught not to see. We could not see ourselves.

In answer to your question, I would not go back. I am not even sure how I feel about God. I do not join any organized religion. I went back twice and it is amazing that all these people I love so much don't even blink an eye at me. I raised their children with them, we ate at each others table, gave birth, experienced death, worshiped and loved, and yet they NEVER question what really happened to me. They accept the answer read by another human who is not even family from a platform and they WALKED AWAY.

All these people loved me and yet they did not think twice about what it would really take to get my life back on track. Instead of going the extra mile, they closed the door, and shook heads, and they woke up and went door to door and tried to teach people how to love. I have three kids and there is no way..no way that I could do that to them. No matter what choices they make. I could not disown them, write them off for making mistakes. Not once, not 100 times, not 70 x 70. Because they are human and the mistakes will NEVER stop. My mistakes will never stop and how in the world, if a sin is a sin can I EVER judge anyone, shun, disfellowship, turn away and not talk to anyone, especially my own child for something I do daily.

I could not, I won't. I wish for you strength in you search, and I really hope that you too take a look in that mirror. Honestly. It is a painful journey, but well worth the work. You may just find your brother will be right by you. You may find he is not dead. You may find he is right.

12

I think we needed to laugh...

by Sparkplug in

jw
friends

ok, forgive me because i am a bit buzzed as i write this.

(my 50 year old close gal called and needed to get out, she never does this, so after close to 10 years of her being a hermit, i went and had a drink or two with her.).

today i went to counseling with my son.

Sparkplug

Avishai- That is funny. Who knows If I get desperate enough...not that you are last choicxe...I will have him call. (You know he wont)

Satanus- I wondered the same myself. It was so very odd.

12

I think we needed to laugh...

by Sparkplug in

jw
friends

ok, forgive me because i am a bit buzzed as i write this.

(my 50 year old close gal called and needed to get out, she never does this, so after close to 10 years of her being a hermit, i went and had a drink or two with her.).

today i went to counseling with my son.

Sparkplug

He is the opposite He is not active. Not hyper at all. His own self contained little stone wall. It really is hard for me to understand seeing I am not as closed as he. I do understand the concept of too many thoughts and ideas going on. Story of my life. When I take meds, I am so much better. It is like I can grab some of the crap that flies around in my head and get stuff organized.

If I don't take it, I make list of things to do, and forget I wrote the list, start another, then find the first, try to merge them, and turn around and forget I had a list or two by the time I get home. It is a pain in my rear.