The Bible...simply directs those with homosexual urges to do the same thing that is required of those with an opposite-sex attraction
That is a bold-faced lie. The bible says heteros can get married and do it as much as they want; it says homosexuals can never be together and be pleasing to god. So let's recap:
A-ok
- Hetero sex after marriage
- God impregnating a human female
- Cain marrying his sister and creating an entire race of people
- Abraham and Amnon marrying their half-sisters
- Lot's daughters getting him drunk and raping him
- Moses' father marrying his aunt
- Noah's grandkids marrying each other
- Jesus cuddling with men
Not ok: any sort of physical contact or marriage between women or between men