Demonic Appliance Assessment Tool
Was the oven purchased at a garage sale?
Did the homeowners have backwards masking rock music records, wind chimes or Ouija in the house?
Have you heard whispers at night that subsided when you called out to jehoohoo?
Did the voices beg you to bake devil's food cake?
Did the oven temperature setting dial get stuck on 666 degrees?
Has an invisible force tried to have sex with you?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, please contact the elders immediately for spiritual guidance.