I would be interested in getting clarification on what is meant by this.
I never bought into the "it is playing by their rules argument". Most who say this are really pretty much faking it
Faking what?
it is equally as judgmental to claim "playing by their rules"
Why do you view this as judgmental? DA is their religious ritual; voluntarily participating in it is playing by their rules. This is just a statement of fact, not judgment.
when they don't know your personal reasons for DA). I did gain great peace of mind from it
I can't imagine many personal reasons. Is my list missing anything?
- Expressing your feelings/beliefs to your former cultmates by use of a cult ritual (their rules).
- Seeking a sense of closure by forcing the cult grant it to you (their rules).
- Any variation on #2--getting some sort of catharsis by participating in the cult ritual of DA (their rules).
- Utilizing a cult ritual (their rules) to cut off contact from your former cultmates.
- Seeking punishment (their rules).
Anyone who wants to play by their rules is free to do so. That's the beauty of the freedom you now have.